...I’m sorry…
I'm under the influence of pain... craze engulfed my mind state quickly
The emptiest vibe was delivered in a gift, hate enclosed, escape was itching
First time fight, a love i thought was there... is now confusion with anger
And i couldn't do it, so instead i only thought in my brain to strangle her
I knew i couldn't harm her physically, but i've done a number on her emotions
And i thought everything was okay, but till now, i've ruined the chain of devotion
Lets set the scene, it was a dark night, roughly eleven thirty on my watch...
But little did i know, later as time passes... a heart would literally stop...
I yelled at her... cussed and broke promises... i hated myself with regrets
She started leaving my house, tears and agony, but it was nothing less then i expect
It seemed as if i'd explode like a bomb... i only caused mayhem and disaster
The ignition in her car switched on, and some petrol leaked as she drove after
On the road... my gurl's still weeping, it wasn't letting up... still a waterfall...
And at home, i felt the same... equality in pain as death started to bestow
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[ Speeding in her car, she's still crying, petrol leaking, she swerves right...
...and in front was a stobey pole, she hits it... and instantly dies... ]
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I'm blind to what may happen next, i don't know what to think... it's over...
A weight's lifted from my shoulder, but it wasn't the same, dark vibes got colder
I wanted to call her and apologise, but her phone was off so there was no answer
And instead of sweet words in her ear, it was pure rage spoken, these words lasted
It was my mind playing tricks... it's stuck in my head deep, like an engravement
And moments later, a knock at the door, with feet shuffling on the hard pavement
I felt re-newed, i thought she had returned and i opened the door, but with deciet...
Instead, 2 officers in uniform stood with bravery, my heart almost skipped a beat
I knew what was next, a shadow over looked my soul with depression instantly
I was traumatised, they havn't even spoke a word yet, and i wish it had been me...
Out of the silence, one spoke up suddenly in the most softest of painful touches:
"I'm sorry, but the one you call your gurl has returned home to God and has left us"...
Leaving the news, i had to take it in, cramps and aching... i was clutching my chest
And i was speechless... out of breath, coz so many words were still left unsaid...
I wanted to say i'm sorry for how i couldn't make it up... it's all my fault...
It's now as if your coffin was closed and re-locked, specially sealed with a vault
I'll never get another chance to say how much i love you, believe i never meant for this
The light died out, and my life was shattered in millions of peices... with no end to it...
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[ Sweat dripping down my face, how do i cope without her now? Is there a reason living?
...coz she was the only person that was worth my love... and she kept me breathing... ]
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They say life flashes before your eyes before you die, this was probably her last vision:
"Her boyfriend yelling at her... with no thought that she'd only be another statistic...
And driving at two hundred kilometres, both eyes were fogged up with her own tears
...and as much as she loved me too, that night... i became her biggest fear..."
How can i imagine seeing what she saw then? I can't step in her shoes now
I want to say how much she means to me, and how sorry i am...but how..?
Now i'm reminiscing back to when we cuddled, everything felt right and happy
But she's dead now, no matter how hard i cry for her, she'll never return to me.
I don't know what to do, loves not everything, but i've finally changed my mind
Coz she was all i ever had, now i'm left alone, maybe i should go to her time...
The gates have opened, a list with my name is on the desk, you know why i wept...
It read: "Name... Date of birth, Time of death... and the reason he left...
Another suicidal case, relationships don't work on earth these days as much
So once again...before i go... I wish you sorry to everyone now, with all my love...
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