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Thread: My Last Letters

  1. #1
    Im -not- BacK
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    My Last Letters

    Dear Mum
    I used to hate you, but now I relate to
    Everythin you had to go through
    Growin up in the inner city
    I wanna know, are you gonna miss me?
    Cos when you walked out, I left
    Instigator came in; you made us live off
    No money, sellin the silverware off the hearth
    Tryna get enough to last us until you came home
    But you were 3 months, you were smoking chron’
    Tryna tell me to not do drugs ‘that shit addictive’
    And you tried to stop me listenin to rap n shit
    Well…listen to this, I’m sorry…

    Dear Dad
    You barely know me, but you always in my business
    But you never knew the truth, well, guess what, here this
    When the house burned down, that was me, I started it
    I’d took some acid tabs I found in your coat pocket
    I got addicted to that sick shit, my life, you lost it
    You never had a chance to really know me
    When I was born, you were in a different country
    When we were burgled, you were out dealin shit
    You always said that you owned a Ford dealership
    But we knew that you were gonna give them the keys
    And the security code, so they could put a knife to her throat
    That’s why mum left, don’t think I ain’t know what she wrote

    Dear Michael
    This is the last twelve lines of my life
    We never got on, but that’s your fault
    When you read this, put your life on halt
    Cos word, I’m gonna do some Kurt Kobain shit
    Have my brains spread all across the walls
    Tell Cara and Janine, they caused war
    Between me and Instigator
    So bad that I gonna be on a respirator
    I hope that you can relate ta
    What I been through with them
    But now I gotta do it, my fingers on the trigger
    I was proud of you; I hope your life can be bigger
    [Gunshot]

  2. #2
    Im -not- BacK
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    Last edited by <Supreme>; January 24th, 2006 at 01:59 PM

  3. #3

  4. #4
    Hi there!
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    deep shit i like this tho u did it bout ur mom and dad and i think ur bro im guessing

    i give this

    7.5 outta 10

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  5. #5
    Banned Rancor's Avatar
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    Yeah nice stuff, doing good PoEtic stuff round here, ayo keep the shit poppin'

    7.5999995599/10.........nah trippin. tis good keep it going dog

  6. #6
    Im -not- BacK
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    uppin

  7. #7
    You've Earned a Custom Title! The Vortex's Avatar
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    plenty of emotion in this piece.. some rhymes got a bit basic and predictable.. so could do with a lil more all round complexity... flow was more like poetic rythm if anything.. had some nicely worded phrases throughout, so worked well as a str8 forward song.. should work as an audio or the likes of...

    could maybe try throw in a couple of mettas next time fosho

    check this joint if you can b bothered
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=266770

    1
    .................................................. ......................

  8. #8
    Im -not- BacK
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    thnx, i'll hit tht up in a few hours
    uppin

  9. #9
    You've Earned a Custom Title! killa red's Avatar
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    liek this alot, nice and deep, good shit man, keep it up
    Lamont Coleman A.K.A Big L - Gunned down Febuary 15 1999 - R.I.P

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    UNITED 'TILL I DIE! RED ARMY!

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  10. #10
    Banned
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    emotion was definately here man..nice topic...real deep..
    good rhymes...pretty good vocab..complexity was good as well
    flow was smooth..strucutre was even..made it an easy read..
    overall this was enjoyable to read..keep it up man..peace

  11. #11
    Newbie
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    Drop was gd shit
    Flow not bad
    Structure improvin
    Rhymth kk
    keep@it

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    Shit Happens
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  12. #12
    The Mob.
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    no good imagary wordplay N' structure could of been better.....elavate N' get more creative
    The words I write are oxygen to greatness.

  13. #13
    yeah man

    i liked it a lot
    its got a bag full of emotions in to it
    kinda reminds me of "cleaning out my closet"
    da only problem i had with it is the flow
    its kinda slow then fast the medium
    it flows like a poem

    but still its good shit man


    -1-

  14. #14
    Im -not- BacK
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    thnx for the feed
    leave links and ill comment on ur drops
    uppin

  15. #15

    Re: My Last Letters

    All your last letters here are quite useful for me and I will share these letters with my mates who are going to write my essay online now. That would be the best thing for me and all my mates who I will share this with.

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