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Thread: government

  1. #1

    government

    He went into war with Iraq,
    Not asking how we thought about that,
    Im telling u how I felt through this track,
    Now my friend was in 9/11 a 14 year old kid,
    I know u knew about it bush I know that u did
    You were the one to lie, now why don’t u tell me why,
    You blamed the FBI, this shits gunna be televised,
    This is through a rebels eyes,
    The streets are in ruin, cops seemed to stop pursuin,
    America has a rebellion brewin,
    And that rebellions gota leader,
    Its me and ive got the boston deamenor,
    So bush u better plea more,
    Cuz I got more men then in the civil war,
    And just wait for the first contact,
    Itll have u writing us a contract,
    Theres no turning back,
    If we have to we will attack

    this is a collab im doign for audio hit me up wit sum feed

  2. #2

  3. #3
    upping

  4. #4
    Banned Change's Avatar
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    this piece was alright.. Although it was simple you held the topic down...
    It flowed well and had some strong points. I'll give you extra credit for the Topic..
    But like some cats on here told me "if you want to impress the reader on this site you have to come with something out of the ordinary and by the simplicity of this verse you've got work to do... but like I said It was a nice drop not great but nice...

    next time lay off the pipe

  5. #5
    ya audio drops dont go good in text sometimes and im starting to use emotion thanks uppin..

  6. #6
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    it was a good subject..
    yes it was short... the ryme wa son nd off..i would say improve the ryme in it..you got a good idea going there...i wud say work in it if you improve on the ryme nd work a bit on vocab you will have a gr8 piece

    keep it up...keep progressing

    once you got it on audio i will love 2 hear post the link here 2 it or let us know

    PEACE
    please drop me some feed on this piece


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    peace

  7. #7
    no problem its a 4 verse collab its wicked long but ya thanks uppin

  8. #8
    Bye bye black bird Poeta Demonio's Avatar
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    This was way to simple for my liking... the peice had no thought in it really.. when i read the title i was looking forward to reading it... but when i got around to reading it i was very dissapointed.

    you need to put alot more depth in your work and make sure the emotion of the peice is there and your putting across the message of the peice clearly.

    peace. no hate.
    AI


    “ˇViva la Revolución!”

  9. #9
    yep thanks uppin

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