User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: Don't do Drugz

  1. #1
    Newbie Liquid's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Breda
    Age
    36
    Posts
    10

    Red face Don't do Drugz

    Don't do drugs...

    This is how the story always begins
    Go out to the club and have a couple of drinks
    Then a guy comes to you "Do you want a smoke"
    Then you take one because you wanna be dope
    Now at first you'll be smoking like it ain't nothing
    and for the next 5 minutes you'll only be coughing
    Then the same guy say's "Do you want a coke line"
    It's only $9.95 ... so you like aight that's fine
    Then you start feeling dissy but you still want more
    Then this lady comes to you say's "What you smiling for?"
    So you and the lady start talking and feelings come to play
    She says well why don't we go to my place?
    well whatta ya say?
    So before you know it you'll be out of the club
    And into her bedroom before you can say whaat??
    And she starts kissin and pullin of ya clothes
    Then everything goes black and you can't remember a thing
    Damn what a pain these Ho's can bring..
    So when you wake up the next morning don't blame me when..
    You wake up next to this woman ... to notice it's a men


    Aight.. my first post first open mic.. Whatta ya think?
    Open Mic:
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.




    Birthday's where the worst days

    Now we are sippin champain when we're thirsty


    The Notorious B.I.G.

  2. #2
    Im -not- BacK
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    1,036
    Battle Record
    14-4
    i looked at this piece, cos i dun a piece called 'Don't Do Drugs' aswell, so i thought i'd see if u dun the same kinda thing...but u havent, u've dun the same joke approach to the subject, but in a more funny way thn me - mine had sorta more long term effects

    but anywayz...
    flow - can't c it dun to music, this is more of an acappella - flow was gd without music
    structure - was mainly gd,
    rhymin - very simple
    i liked this piece
    but try and work on making you rhymin more complex in future, and make the flow better with music,,,try and have a beat in ur head
    Last edited by <Supreme>; February 13th, 2006 at 10:17 AM Reason: addin hyperlink 'Dont Do Drugs'...check it out
    Don't Do Drugs EP is coming soon.

    Remember Me?

  3. #3
    Newbie Liquid's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Breda
    Age
    36
    Posts
    10
    Open Mic:
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.




    Birthday's where the worst days

    Now we are sippin champain when we're thirsty


    The Notorious B.I.G.

  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title! ~knifez~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    J-Town
    Age
    32
    Posts
    250
    Battle Record
    7-0
    what the fuck drugz are sick

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    Crown 4 J-town

    ~CREWZ~


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  5. #5
    Newbie Liquid's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Breda
    Age
    36
    Posts
    10
    Uppin^^
    Open Mic:
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.




    Birthday's where the worst days

    Now we are sippin champain when we're thirsty


    The Notorious B.I.G.

  6. #6
    Newbie Liquid's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Breda
    Age
    36
    Posts
    10
    Up^^ ... Some Reviews Please
    Open Mic:
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.




    Birthday's where the worst days

    Now we are sippin champain when we're thirsty


    The Notorious B.I.G.

  7. #7
    mz.blaze
    Guest
    This drop was very basic. You could of gotten much deeper with this-take your time and develop the story. This piece could be improved with better vocab, and your lines were short and choppy, not much of a flow to them. 4/10

  8. #8
    you got a decent story... some nice imagery in the opening but like hat blaze said it's gotta be deeper... try reading some dope topicals in the board so you'll be able to make a better drop next tyme

    overall 2/5 need more practice homie =)

Similar Threads

  1. DrUgZ Nd TrApPeD
    By 4renSICK in forum Poetic Scriptures
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: May 11th, 2010, 01:06 AM
  2. Drugz
    By Whyte Gunz in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: October 18th, 2005, 10:51 PM
  3. Drugz By kailo
    By Ghetto28 in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: December 25th, 2004, 11:48 AM
  4. Drugz nd Liqour
    By FanTa ZeE in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: January 20th, 2004, 01:51 PM
  5. ThugzDoCry Vz.MHz DrugZ
    By MHz DrugZ in forum Closed Battles
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: July 17th, 2003, 08:58 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •