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Last edited by Richard Parker; August 20th, 2014 at 12:59 AM
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Last edited by Richard Parker; August 20th, 2014 at 12:59 AM
Text holds the power to change, To take delight in it's speech
Over a devoured exchange, A moment of enlightenment's reached
But there's a plight & a breach..cuz The words can't uphold
If a writer fails to unveil the tale when the reader heard it unfold
hot!!!!
Or it can be a guessing game of what the content contains
a script stated; Rhythm dictated by a consonant's change
also hot
the rest was hot aswell damm i could barly have a favorite part..THE WHOLE THING WAS...nice flow mettas multies..vocab..and strucure...
9.3/10=overall
I liked it, good piece. The way you structured it was very close to perfection, a straight flow through feel. Vocab on this piece was used good, as always. I think you could have rhymed off each line towards the middle a bit better, cuz it was'nt keeping the flow alligned...just my opinion. It matched the title to this, although I was'nt getting any real visualization out of it.
It was real good though, I might sound stupid, but its to complicated for my style, to many big vocab words. This is typical new school rap/underground...but I likes to keep my shit old school and make it sound just as good.
I'm not hating on yo spit, just stating my opinion. Like I said, was a great piece.
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Last edited by Richard Parker; August 20th, 2014 at 12:59 AM
Ok I actually liked this piece quite a bit.I thought it was a very good idea and some good creativity went into this.You didnt need vocab here,as I am seeing with quite a few pieces around here is over use of vocab because they think the more vocab the better.You used the right amount which went well with the piece.It was complex in its own way but you did a very good job of displaying it.You need to read it twice for it actually to stand out to you....well it did for me.Very nice drop bro and keep it up
If you could hit me back on "The Smile Of A Deamon"
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=297181
"Children and lunatics cut the Gordian knot which the poet spends his life patiently trying to untie."
Jean Cocteau
x1 PSHOF
Imminent Evolution
Aright...as for the vocab, everyone has their own style, and of course there are better and worse of how you actually deliver that style. I give mad props to writers who junction "Big" vocab words in their rhymes, knowlege is power, so use it right? If that above vocab use to you comes as normal, than you a smart cat, props.The piece was about the uses of writing. . what it can convey, etc
Pretty self explanatory... and the vocab wasn't at all large to me, but w/e, to each his own
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