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Last edited by The Apocalypse; June 14th, 2006 at 03:28 PM
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=297042
uppin for feed
Okay, this wasn't bad, you had some okay metas in here... But you need to drop the simplicity in your piece, you see some people work really well with simple... but i think you'd benifit from switching your rhyme scheme up by adding multis and alot more imagery... I saw a ffew places that caught my eye, but notenough places made my eyebrows rise... i think you have potential, and i know your new to topical but if you keep at it, you'll get better and better and as i said i'm happy to help you.
Things you need to work on:
Multis (multiple rhyme for example: the callous palace laced in mallice)
Metaphors... these add great imagery.
Imagery and depth: description of how your feelin and things around you.
Rhyme scheme: your words don't have to rhyme at the end of every line.
attention to detail: vocab, wording.
AI
“ˇViva la Revolución!”
thankz mann i'll try wat you said in my next piece
iight
homie thankz
drop more feed plz
plz drop feed.....................
ROFL AT YOU BITING THIS FROM MY OLD RTM NIGGAZ!
Haha, you suck ass man. This is wack, even for them. They didnt try on this one at all, you could of at least bit something from when they were nice. Oh well, links up shortly, somebody ban this faggot before I have to do it...
Peace!
WORD P e r f e c t !
RESERVOIR GODS
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WORD P e r f e c t !
RESERVOIR GODS
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