I Am

[Soule]

The fire that burns in your hatred eyes
The rage that explodes when you lose your mind
The water you drink and the air you breath
The eyes that blink and the people that believe
The ball that bounces up and down that court
The bullets that fly like another murderous sport
The fight that breaks lose at every single bar
The police that arive just to throw someone in their car
The councel that announce who is and who isnt guilty
The people that are rich and the people that sleep filthy
The storm that keeps all children awake and adults furius
The chapter book that keeps the young bored and old curius
The end of a poem that keeps all life in their correct state of matter
I am the planet that keeps you all alive and I am the end of lifes ladder
I am the laws of gravity that keeps life simple yet keeps it hard too
I am the dreams and nightmare that never fallow through. But entertain you

I am a mystery that you all just may never solve
What am I? I'm the missing peice of this worlds jigsaw.

[Soule]

Leave Links And I'll Get Back To Them A.S.A.P.

[Poeta Demonio]

I edited your font and stuff for you. It looked noobish.

[Soule]

Lol. Thankyou. Can I get some feed?

[Poeta Demonio]

It seemed slightly forced to me, Like a lack of emotion, i keep giving this advice to young poets recently but fuck it, i'll tell you aswell. let the poetry flow through you, not you flowing through the poetry. Yous ee if you let your feelings and thoughts take control, it won't fail you. I feel you have potential, and with a little bit of work, i think you could be a mediocre poet. but you see the thing is with poetry, you can't be good oOR bad at poetry as it's self expression, so at the end of the day the only things that matter really are that you feel what you're writting, and depending who you are writting for, that your audience can relate to your pieces and take something away with them directed from your thoughts and concepts. if you can portray the emotion that you are trying to portray to your audience through, your job and message has been delivered. The one thing you have is youth on your side, you're very young, enough time to get to grips with putting your ideas clearly on the page. Also metaphor useage can bring your imagery to life and can be alot more effective for emotion. take a look at the elevation thread to grasp some new styles to import into your own pieces, maybe you'll beifit from it.

Also if i can help in anyway with your writting, I;d be happy to. Just pm me or something, I'll get back at you as soon as i can.

Well done man.

[Soule]

Thankyou and will do.

[Poeta Demonio]

Hit this up man.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=305803

[Soule]

Will do and Hey I just added you on MSN. Are you not signed in?

[Poeta Demonio]

Add me on AIM instead dude.

[Soule]

I Dont Have AIM

[Soule]

Ups.