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Thread: "Many Faces"

  1. #1
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    "Many Faces"

    "Many Faces"

    You struggle..

    To say you need some help,
    Not to achieve anything, but to be yourself,
    Free to tell all your dreams...never knocking your fears,
    Without the odd looks, stares, or being mocked by your peers,
    Yet we’re robbed of our years, tears, and we’re left just waiting,
    Until our shorter life span leads to desperation,
    We accept and face it;
    Our hearts aren’t designed to cover, the lies
    But yet we try to sustain disguised as others,
    Our lives, our mind discovered..
    Hoping our pride recovers, but the
    Buried soul experiences the likes to suffer,
    And it hides, eating inside, the slightest supper,
    Then we’re unlikely to fight, so in spite, it’s tougher
    You sigh and hover..
    Over something you never claimed to hassle,
    Instead you stayed in the darkness, and became a shadow
    A shameful battle, but to a humbled degree,
    Between who you are, and who you always wanted to be,
    Then we’re astonished to see..
    When the lack of honor unfolds,
    Because what you fronted to be, you can no longer control,
    And the longer it goes; The worse it will seek..
    And ooze out through your eyes, and the words that you speak
    Then we’ll have the last laugh..you’ll be the first that’ll weep
    Because putting on a front is preserved to the weak
    Hear the nerves through your speech; A sad sight to believe it’s..
    Worse when you’re fake, and everybody can see it
    Your deepest..regret, would be to replace it with anger
    Stubbornness breeds guilt...the many faces of danger



    -Nique.
    AI. Legendary.
    19x HOF. Seven Titles. 50.

  2. #2
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    AI. Legendary.
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  3. #3
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    Re: "Many Faces"

    tough om...crazy ass lookin pic...good flow, good consistency, and very good creativity....i dunno...ya structure without a font change made the lettering look a little blunt becuz its just hard to read without a seperate font...other than that i liked it.
    YAMMIN HOES





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  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title! evil king's Avatar
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    Re: "Many Faces"

    umm it was a mah verse ..........cuz you could've did alout of things better like ur structure ur verse didn't really look that good and you could've worded alout of lines better the title was good and you should of took advantage of title and did some creative shit ................no hate overall I give it a 6


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  5. #5
    greatest of gods creation urban legendz's Avatar
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    Re: "Many Faces"

    ^ I can't say I agree with everything you said, but for what he did state there was deffinently more you could've done with this piece the structure as we all know really isn't that important only newbs worry about they structure that much it's all about how it flow and the wording, and this was a well organized piece with nice meta's and wordplay and a rather satisfing ending, the imagery was very vivid in this piece emotion came on strong, but for the likes of you ths was pretty basic and well okay, but I'll give it a 8.0/10, yo can you please leave feed on my links in my sig fam, it'll be well appreciated.

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  6. #6
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    Re: "Many Faces"

    Thanks.
    AI. Legendary.
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  7. #7
    Civilized Gangsta Kris Stubbs's Avatar
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    Re: "Many Faces"

    overall on this particular piece i think you did well. your vocabulary wasn't all that great but your wordplay really worked out for you. i think you worded your lines well. As far as the topic...at first i didn't like it, but i like how you kind of put a twist on the topic as well as a overall outline of this peice. nice job man. keep it up
    uh, which way did he go? which way did he gooo?

  8. #8
    Civilized Gangsta Kris Stubbs's Avatar
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    uh, which way did he go? which way did he gooo?

  9. #9
    greatest of gods creation urban legendz's Avatar
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  10. #10
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    Re: "Many Faces"

    Lol@ the structure. Riiise.
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  11. #11
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
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    Re: "Many Faces"

    wut up twin yo you down to hit a text collab

  12. #12
    bobericc _Lyrics's Avatar
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    Re: "Many Faces"

    Our hearts aren’t designed to cover, the lies
    But yet we try to sustain disguised as others,
    Our lives, our mind discovered..
    Hoping our pride recovers, but the
    Buried soul experiences the likes to suffer,
    And it hides, eating inside, the slightest supper,
    Then we’re unlikely to fight, so in spite, it’s tougher
    You sigh and hover..

    omfg...this exert was just ill as i heard it the flow was soo smooth and dope damn...
    fuckin illness, i would definitly nominate it, the wording and emotion in it was felt like whoa... i mean we all have problems trying to identify ourselves... but the way you touched base on the subject was niice.. nothin else to really say. i really sighed and leaned to that and while i was reading i was like wtf... that pic symbolized the om altogether... if you ever get the chance check out some of my material and let me know what i can work on to get better.
    GreaterDesignGrowers.com

    Im not a rapper, im a gardener

  13. #13
    That Shit Cray Chris Black's Avatar
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    Re: "Many Faces"

    This was really dope. The flow was nuts. The emotion was sick too. You're consistent. When I was in this forum about a year ago, you had the best piece I read. Now, here, again, you have the best piece I've read here so far. Nice job.
    Hence Forward
    axis powers

  14. #14
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    Re: "Many Faces"

    thx.
    AI. Legendary.
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  15. #15
    I see you lookin.. stupid Brandon Heat's Avatar
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    Re: "Many Faces"

    wow... nice Marshall Matthers flow... pretty polished piece... this makes me want to fuck your pen... if you know what I'm sizzin...
    AlieNation
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