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Thread: godzonnet

  1. #1
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Donald Trump's Avatar
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    godzonnet


    from the sea, a mighty beast arises,
    with eyes for un-civilized destruction.
    thermo-nuclear powered surprises,
    raining pain and death's dark function.

    across the land, godzilla rages on,
    deaf to the screams of those trampled below.
    mortal man does weep that their age is gone,
    their buildings burn with ample glow.

    from the sky, mortal man's jets fly and scream
    as bursts of flame cut throw them like butter.
    all that mortal man has become and dreams
    is charred and laying in the gutter.

    so, as the old man weeps his end grown near,
    the young man rushes to the streets with cheer.

  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Donald Trump's Avatar
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    Re: godzonnet

    Leave links i'll get to them

  3. #3
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    Re: godzonnet

    Damn this shit was dope...i didnt like it in the begining but as i kept reading on shit got stronger and stronger...i like how the ending really ties this all up...shit was real nice to read i wouldnt mind peeping more of your work.

  4. #4
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    Re: godzonnet

    thanks for the feed

  5. #5
    greatest of gods creation urban legendz's Avatar
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    Re: godzonnet

    Idk man this was Ok, but some things should've been cleaned up, the title itself is original and I love the creative spin on it that you took on it, your imagery was alright, it seemed a lot of your energy was concentrated on to the rhyme scheme in the first stanza and then it varied through out the piece witch isn't ideal, if you would've made this longer and kept the former rhyme scheme this would've been dope, your emotion in this piece got better towards the end along with your meta's, your wording was off in this piece due to your fluctuation of your rhyme scheme, I'm getting the feeling either this was a quick key or something you started on and back to finish, cause that'll explain a few things, but w/e do you family.

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