Thomas vs blitz905

[Messiah.]

Topic : Boy Meets Girl.
Due : 2 Days Maximum.
Unlimited Lines.
Explained Votes Only.
.
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Check and Goodluck.

[blitz905]

aight i'll drop within the 2 days aight peace good luck blah blah blah peace

[blitz905]

i was once walkin down the streets of queens
saw some hoe talkin in the town
i thought i saw her in my dreams
so i decided too ask for her number so i can do er in the spleen
than thought too myself should i or shouldnt i big question
but damn homie she has a big bootie bustin
so i says i aint a gansta i just do thurston
like a airplane my dick is like combustion
my chemicals produce kids and fusion
than later on i woke up than saw it was a illusion
i was like damn my brain has all confusion
its total domination what women do too us
thats y i dont want the drama
i dont wanna meet a girl an make her a mama
id rather sit back wit her fuck her an hold off that delima
so we can sex up the beed room on shrooms
an than i'll kill her like a hooker an watch her meet her doom
im so consumed im so shockin im a serial killer
when i murder her shes dancin too thriller
an im sittin there watchin reggie miller
doin the slam dunks after i slammed the cunt
im one of those who dont like too get buck
id rather sit at home than go too the club
id rather have the hoe come over an do a couple of dubs
of acid than get all high than say good bye
i dont claim too be a thug too her im shy
thats y u can see murderer in my eyes
the discusion is bruisen when she flys
too hevean with god but i still think he's a fraud
than i laugh an sigh
what a fuckin "guy"
so that is my story about meetin a prositute
id rather meet a hooker than a girl an take the loot
shoot her like grand theft auto than get a bust
cause every fuckin girl i meet is a fuckin lush'

[Messiah.]

Blah blah a quick key.

Boy Meets Girl.

The leaves nestled on the trees,
the flowers were in full bloom,
Through the trickle of the fountains
he spotted her from a far.

Upon a clear moonlit night, the stars glistened bright,
For love was in the air, across the candle lit square.
She sat stationary, flickered her hair into steady breeze,
he gradually made her way towards her and brought her roses.

Do you believe in love at first sight? he said,
.
She crumbled, smiled with a twinkle in her eye
he slowly sat down besides her, tenderly stroked her thigh.
He turned to her, stared and let out a huge sigh,
she laughed in his face and bid him goodbye.

Votes, Please.

[Touch.]

blitz i dnt think u have grasped the concept of a topical u need to elevate alot..u need alot more emotion it ur verse and use better vocab...thomas wasnt ur best but it was enuff to see of blitz.. lol funny twist for him to get rejected lol and i like how u set the scene at the begining v//thomas

vote on this if u can

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ym-331511.html

[Messiah.]

Link has been hit, Thanks for the vote, Lets have more votes please.

-Thomas.

[mattym]

thomas wer more about the topic wit gud rhyming words i specially liked ow u ended it. it was also easy to set the scene so i got 2 say thomas wins

[Resistance]

Wow..Expected alot more from Thomas' Side, But of coarse it was a quick key, And he was battiling a newb.

My Breakdown.

Thomas- you we're decent, could've done better with the topic, but still you had some nice imagery, and nice vocab in your piece. I like the way you use your font in your piece too, it kinda looks coo' lol. Wasn't one of my favorites, but still decent piece.

Blitz 905- You need to pick a type of font besides just regular, use Georgia, or Itallic or something, to not make your verse look SO PLAIN. Also your rhyme scheme was very basic, you need to rhyme with emotions, and motions. You need some elevation, but so far, i don't think topical is your game. Srry for being a little harsh, but i'm speaking the truth.

V/Thomas

[Messiah.]

Thanks for the vote, More Votes please, Leave links and i'll hit them up no doubt.

[CrosT Over]

THOMAS- nice start6 with the imagery, it set the mood for the tone and atmosphere of the piece, i realize this was a quick key so im not gonna get to tech on you since you know where the skill lies, other than that i love how at the end the twist is a normal everyday occurence but it was the last thing i suspected.

blitz- you got what it takes but you showed nothing here, you had a story and proved you can rhyme with emotion but you need to step it up and really work on the tech side flow was choppy, and the overall transition of the story was nearly non-existent, keep the work up

v/ thomas

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...st-321261.html

[Messiah.]

Thanks for the vote CrosT, your link has been checked, Uping for more voters please.

[blitz905]

word i dont mind if i loose this one like i said id do A topical lol an when i write its more of death rap than my text battles even when i freestyle on my other sites its more of death rap thats how i rapped bout boy meets girl than killin her sorry people lol peace

[Messiah.]

Bump, for votes............................................. ....................

[blitz905]

good battle thomaz atleast i tried for this one every one hit up my battle against stunner 911 911 means he';s a fed hahhahahahhahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[Brandon Cee]

Thomas, dope storyline, lol @ him getting rejected. But honestly, you've done much better in prior pieces as far as wording goes. I dunno if you just didn't care, but you didn't show up for this like normal man. Overall, a good piece, but you could've doped it up a bit. I like the take though, like I said. Blitz, I dunno dude, for me your wording was terrible and the story was SOOOOO obvious and shit, no twist on a played topic like this is not good. Overall, I'd say this was subpar, so you didn't do too well.

v/Thomas, overall better piece