My Unborn Child

[C.Wrighter]

This Wrote in Poetry Form



My unborn child i hope you can hear my Voice
A smile on my face from a unlikely Choice
So i dont say that its a Mistake
Because having you in her wound is better then Great

I've had many bad days , But you make the days as if i cant Hate
I love your mother for the gift , I got for the love we Made
This is Special i would'nt give it up for nothing or any Trade
You're gone to be the new edition to my life i promise to keep you Safe


Although , its geting better and better as the days Past
I cant wait to you leave the wound and into my Grasp
I just dont know how much longer this feeling can Last
To teach you the ways of life is going to be a Blast

So for you come out the wound just know i'm happy to be your Dad
I'm the happest man in the world , Maybe to Glad
But as you are in the wound , I'm happy in Sad
Cause i wish you could be out in my Hands at Last




My Links

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...rs-331938.html

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ve-332028.html

[Brandon Heat]

real talk... big ups man... if it's true... congrads... all I can say is... I feel you. nothing more nothing less.

[C.Wrighter]

thanks man for feed

[deacon]

emmm expand your style and elevate your mind a little. Simplistic rhyme schemes arent always bad but only when you turn them into something thats fresh...Within the majority of your poem i could guess the next word of each line. I think with alot of elbo grease and maybe some tears you could eventually represent yourself a little stronger...keep it up young daddy

peep my piece when you get around to it...word

[zelf]

This was a decent read, not too discriptive but still It had nice emotion and was good.

[C.Wrighter]

thanks people for the feed i'ma return feed asap

[C.Wrighter]

uppin again looking for some feed i'll return all feed

[Constance]

Man I enjoye this piece and it being a true story made it that much better. Personally this piece I can relate to, congrads on the child fam I believe you'll make a great father..

[C.Wrighter]

Thanks.....can i get sum mo feed

[Scar Dog]

"leave the wound"... I'm guessing you meant "womb"
"to teach the ways of life is going to be a blast" - I find the expression storms out of the general atmosphere of the poem. It is a touching, caring tone and then abruptly this "its gonna be a blast" expression steps in and kills the moment.

Overall a good piece. Being about the caring towards an expected baby, it couldn't have been a bad poem, because it came from the soul.

Best of luck in your new full-time-lifetime-job as dad.

[faith]

This Was A Great Piece Right Here. It Sounded Very Real .it Was Not Too Long So It Was Really Interesting.
And It Was Such A Different Kind Of A Topic. So Far I Havent Read Any Poem Like This ..........so Big Ups Man! AND OVERALL THE MEANING TO IT WAS GREAT.

[C.Wrighter]

thanks and im get to leavein yall poems feed know

[C.Wrighter]

figure'd i should up this.....

[Paramik]

This wa a bery nice peice. short and simple
straight to the point.
the imagery could've been improved a lil bit but nevertheless you managed to keep the flow of imagery and emotion up.
This was a simplistic peice that can be described in a lot of meanings.
so overall nice poem
please feedback >> http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ls-347826.html

[C.Wrighter]

uppin this again..man i forgot i had this on here