Folded Photograph

[Moniker]

I've packed my bags with
everything but your photograph,
because I folded the picture
in half last time I saw you
and wrote hope on the back.
Now that time has passed,
it's my only dream to capture
these new memories
seeming to unfold before me.
I suppose it'd be ok to say
there's no pose that could
possibly hold your beauty;
turning ordinary prose to poetry.
So lets let the lens render truly,
hearts framed in expectation
and an image of you
behind the camera, waiting..

[HighEngineChief]

I liked this, i loved the alliterations you used to make this really flow along nicely. The concept was okay but I liked the style, it made it interesting and easy to read. Short and sweet, enough to catch my attension and leave me wanting a little more. Only thing bad about this, not really bad but i think it could have used, was some more thoughtful language, play with the words a bit and see what you come up with. Very enjoyable poem though.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ne-333093.html
Hit up my Piece^^^

[Spoken]

this was just compelling and very fresh..nothing fancy just basis of how your emotion was spille dinto your words and it was just worded nicely mind. i was really liking this for your originality and take on the topic i mean people do topics like this but you twist it with your wording to make the read a bit more emotionally packed and more packed with exppression aswell for the way the person felt dude... man this was original and very safe to say a nice and very enjoyable read my dude!....keep the writing strong

[Moniker]

Thanks fellas. This was just a short piece to keep active. More direct and concrete then my usual I suppose. I'll try to get to those links tonight.

[Prince Escobar]

I have to agree, Mind i enjoyed this. It was simple and yet it drew my attention immediately and held my intrique even after it concluded. Your choice of words, as usual was spot on and your tone came across strong. Overall it made me miss always seeing one of your pieces on the frontpage, i hope i get to see those days again soon.

1luv.

[TProphet]

I basically instantly thought right after i read this ''Jigsaw'' lol. Wierd i know but it was pretty fresh to see how everything fit together in someones piece for once without having to sit there disecting it for three or four reads. I know you only wrote in a more simlple way compared to your usuall way but i still enjoyed to see something written from you again. Ofcourse each word contributed to what you were portraying perfectly. Always a pleasure