Bitter sweet tastes- daddy

[Poeta Demonio]

Bitter sweet tastes; daddy
My spirits grasped by livers,
treading upon broken glass
of hope; twisted body tilting
towards floor tiles, gathering
momentum from the stomach
rumbles; lunch appears before
my eyes, swimming within
a clear bottled liquid.
My son gazes at me with
denial; yet what can I say?
Nothing can drown the
past like a vodka smirk.
he hurts, yet what can I do?
Nothing tastes better than
A romance with wine;
Advice given from labels,
a percentage of truth is spoken
yet the volume speaks louder
With every glass downed

Spread on the floor, with a
friend of deception lying
next to me for southern
comfort; screams mix
with frustration as I try
to speak my mind, while
only intoxicated attempts
at words seem to be born

Ryan walks out of my grasp,
never to trust, never to utter
a word to the face of the man
who took his childhood away
with a sip of dirty water

We are all born with the fatal
disease of death, I guess I just
chose to inject myself a little
quicker through addicted lips

Writers note: my dad was an alcoholic, it really affected me in a lot of ways, its probably been the single most damaging sight I’ve seen in my life, witnessing a man that I really didn’t know up until a few years ago when he actually started to bring himself back to a little bit of normality just killing himself sip by sip; So I figured I’d write one of my most real poems I’ve ever wrote, in the tone of speaking my visions of those days through his mouth. Hope you enjoy.

-Poeta

[Poeta Demonio]

Feed people?

[Poeta Demonio]

Upping

[Spoken]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=334058
^^
hit that kind sir NOW...

this was splendid and sorry to hear bout your writers note man... im not a judgemental guy... so your stilla cool dude. i loved your wording as usual man..i will one day reach that level...sooner or later...hopefully sooner ya know but yea i wanna touch that level of greatness cus the way you word your poems and stuff grasp the reader ever so viciously cus of your vocab assortion and powerfull means behinds such wordings man... i also loved your emotion especially cus it was coming of a personal note and expierence man.. it was so brethe taking and suspenseful ryan.. loved it man i was really liking it cus it was going deep into my thoughts and grinding out pain cus of how you told the story cus it was so smooth man.. and it was like i could really connect cus i also to had a alcoholic dad.. so i understand what you said about this emotionally man.. i liked how you started this. it was so calm then as soon as the time was right you kicked it up a notch man...nic shit poeta really liked this, deep.

[Poeta Demonio]

Done.. Amd thanks... more feed please.

[Poeta Demonio]

Uppidy. tehe

[Poeta Demonio]

Wtf, still one feed only? C'mon guys.

[Dyl]

Well its been a while since i've fed on any sort of piece because i'm an inactive fucker these day, but it put a smile on my face to see that you still drop pure dope pieces.It seems to me that your whole writing style has changed and that you have been trying out new things...maybe not but then again I havn't read a piece from you in a while.Your strong point as usual was your wording.Beautiful metas which is typical Ryan.Of coarse those metas add to your imagery which is always brilliant to read.You took an intresting take on this, in some places I feel as if you could have done a bit better but that took nothimg away from a very well written piece.The read overall was very intresting and i'm sorry for your troubles.My dad likes the drink too but I wouldn't call him an alco.Its good to see that you overcame these problems in your life and that you were strong enough to share it with the rest of us.Thanks for the read.

-Dyl

[Prince Escobar]

You could have kept the writer's note to yourself because thise poem in my eyes was very telling, you wrote with very strong emotion and i felt like you related to the poem a lot. The tone was pretty good but what i really liked was your word choice. You were able to make plays on words in relation to drinking which i thought was good and thus helped your imagery, making this piece easier to visualize. Overall i think this shows a lot of improvement for you, perhaps because it's a personal topic. Keep up the good work man, 1luv.

[Poeta Demonio]

Thanks alot bro, yeah, maybe i should have left the writers not out, yet i felt i was important in order to fully vent my feelings towards it. Ironically i'm drunk now, but you know lol

[HighEngineChief]

The way you let loose with words is amazing, you really have a gift for seeing things in a way that makes every word compliment the next. I loved your metaphores and the emotion behind every bit of raw imagery that you displayed. The last stanza is my favorite and i couldnt think of a better way to close up such an excellent poem. I'm glad you could convey your feelings so clearly on page, I know how hard it can be to write something personal and not have it sound like your soul is just rambling on, it takes experience and you definatly have that. Great job and keep writting.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...so-334165.html
Please RTF^^