Its So...

[Ace of Aces]

Its so...
Beautiful

You overwelm my mind,
Coercing an anecdote of
A million words and images that
Construct this sheet music.

You overwhelm my body,
Rendering each movement a
Cordially crafted dance in tune to
Two conducting hearts.

You overwhelm my senses,
Inheriting every touch and tastebud
With an opaque auroma of the
Sound of a thousand symphonies.

You overhwelm every piece of me,
Completing my life's sense, purpose, and dream.
No amount of notes could
Ever compose such cadence.

This is Love.

Its so...
Beautiful.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ou-338899.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...by-339979.html[/I][/FONT]

[MC_Merkstyla]

Wow, really nice poem. Way to stay on topic. Some nice vocab helped this piece look like a professional piece. I really liked your choice of words man, and the way you went about it.

Its so beautiful
You overwhelm
You overwhelm
You overwhelm
You overwhelm
Its so beautiful

I'm diggin it.. real beatiful :thumbsup

[Poeta Demonio]

Okay, on first impression you would think that you are creating the referances to music and love merely for a woman, but on second glance i believe (wrong or rightly lol) it was a direct metaphor for you 'falling in love' with the music itself... And in saying that, you managed to convay your imagery effectively. You came across very intelligently throughout the piece, which i liked, yet at the same time it coudl confuse some of your audience, which is maybe something to think about in your next piece, just trying to find a middle ground between simplicity and complexity. I love the way you kept it short like it needed to be, if you keep pieces like this going for too long, it really does destroy the meaning... what i mean by 'pieces like this' to save any confusion, is pieces that start each stanza with a phrase... So nicely done on that side of the spectrum. I think you have alot more to offer man, i've never read any of your poetry, but i must say i'm impressed, and i think i could probably help you to become your top form, so if you're willing add me on aim... elpoeta101101 and we'll get you from being good to great. Thanks for the read man.

[Ace of Aces]

thanks. and yea i'll consider hitting you up poeta.

[Dyl]

Well this was a pretty good piece alright.It was bland in places with fillers, but other than that you did a good job at creating a picture for me and some of your wording was pretty damn good.Havn't seen you in PS before man so its always nice to see a new face around.I loved your structure here though man it actually had a nice smooth flow to it that was short and sweet.This was a good poem over all and I look foward to your next piece.

-Dyl

[Ace of Aces]

thanks a lot buddy. yea i just really wanted to express how i feel and i think i managed to do so.

[Ace of Aces]

up another one.

[Wordz.]

Pretty enjoyable piece here manye.You had a couple of fillers but its still okay.Detail wise you made thing hella visual you painted picture I could see in my head with about every sentence.Emotion wise it was overall there no real problems in the feeling area of this.Your structure was great,was very fluid and a nice easy to the eye smooth read,with a great flow.Kinda of short to me but nothing major.

Wordz.

[Ace of Aces]

thanks. up.

[Ace of Aces]

up.