My letter to you Pt. 3

[Spoken]

My letter to you Pt.3
-The Wishing Well Runs Dry

Good morning…
Today seems like a good day.
-Though for some reason I can’t smile.
I take itty steps towards a relief,
to cleanse me of mistakes…
…I have done.
-Those words don’t seem right
Scratch that-
I am sorry-
I guess I can start,
this letter off- like this right?
-I hope its not to harsh
I have a meeting…
… With society today.
Where shall I start huh?

The mall- Nah too crowded
The library- hmm… too quiet for me
The fair- maybe….not, too loud

I feel so down,
i am too used to you being right here.
Right next to me…
…In this time of need, or situation.
Since the last letter I have sent,
you have yet to write back.
I feel like the letter was a bit too blunt.
-Was it? I am sorry if it was.
I just felt burdened and hurt,
of the words you used to describe me- to be.
Sorry I went “Overboard” on you…
…The last time that we so called “Spoke”,
with words that- I guess
…were out of proportion.
Deep down inside,
i have feelings for you
-I care... I really do.
You are the mother of my child.
Though, on some other levels,
we can’t even talk on the same page.
Arguments here disgruntled accusations there.
I mean back and forth,
was a making of world war three…
…you know what I mean right?
-It drives me crazy
I don’t know…

“Portrait emotions,
glance down with frowns.
My thoughts stay afloat,
mixed feelings keep me ground.
I can’t seem to explain,
what’s wrong with me.
I care for you but then I don’t,
insanity has reached extreme.”

Past Times…
I wake up drowsy,
eyes bloody from the dreams.
-Well, at least I think so…
I cremate the past times…
…and try my best to start a new.
Going over my mistakes…and yours…
…Trying to find ways around.
I confront these reminiscing times,
in my best of interest…
…to put a smile on your face- again.
I miss those times we used to cuddle,
under the stars playing connect the dots.
I remember the times we used to,
go to the beach, making our feet,
dab the water here and there.
-The tides caressing our feet

Please, a second chance is worth a shot,
but I am not sure it is in the best of our interest.
I think this is the best for us,
but pushing me out of your life completely is uncalled for.
Nicholas needs me in his life,
you know personally, as well as me,
how it feels to have no father.
Would you want him to feel are pain?
-I know I wouldn’t
The dagger of repentance…
…Lies comfortably in my hands.
Hold me one more time,
before, I go through my healing.
I dip the my pen into the ink,
a special ink made of emotion.
Mahogany painting,
colors the paper with sorrow.
-I hope you can forgive me.

P.S.
I never meant to make you cry

I put the letter in its envelope,
the next morning it was sent.
-I hope she gets it and understands.
I know my wrong doings and I was never proud.
she is the light of my life, for our child sake.
I love her but not enough…
… To try and mend our bad habits together.
I bleed for her,
cause the pain she went through was my fault.
I am trying to do the best I can,
to show I can be a helping a hand.
-in a positive way
My time runs out,
i lose control of my eyes.
My lids seal shut,
i ignite my drowned emotions,
and melt them together as one.
I pull the blankets off the old couch,
and sit in the midst of its dust.
To my demise… to her surprise.
-I have let go of my soul
Since you insist of this,
i made your final wish of me…
… Come true myself.
I face the fact that i can't see what i want,
but that doesn't mean to hold him back.
one day we shall meet,
So today i lend my white flag to you.
-for now...

i mended my regrets with moving on...
... you should do the same.

[Soule]

Me and Nash read this like 5 hours ago. But when we were bout too leave feed. I fell asleep and I guess he was just too tired. Now when you dropped "My Letter To You Pt. 1" ..I was simply amazed. And too think back on it now, if it didn't get nominated. Then what the fuck? It was your leaving peice, and it was by far my favorite read from you. The when you came back and did "My Letter To You Pt. 2" ..I was amazed once more. Because you were coming back, and dropped a peice that was twice as good as it's prequal. And one again, if that didn't get nominated, PS is fucked up lol. Now that I've read the 3rd peice in the trilagy. I am simply loving you.

The Wordplay: Strong, Well Thought Out, Well Placed and VERY mature. Your Flow *Not Rhyme Scheme*, was very VERY poetic-like and carried through the peice well, and in my opinion. The Format of the peice does that for a writer, and there for. You did a fantastic job in that catagory just as the catagories before it that I mentioned. The Emotion, FUCKING heart pounding. You kept me reading through it without wanting to stop or without having too slow down too get into it. The Imagery wa just fucking perfect. Overall a incredible read. My favorite out of the three. And Nominating NOW.

Favor returned, thankyou for the read and thank you for the feed on my poem.

[Spoken]

thanks man appreciate your time

[Psuedo.]

wow, impressive poem i like how you expressed your emotions, and actually wrote it as though it was a real letter with the side notes with i portray is what your thinking as your writing? i like the arrangement of differnt times, that's the best i can put it referring to i dont know and past times.
you had a good choice of words which made this more detailed.
sorry for such short feed but this is a really strong poem man, i really enjoyed, also thanks for leaving feed on mine.

[Cody Nash]

here ..i feel like leaving a little feed of my own ..i liked this, very dope. it was like a reverse love poem ..unlike the first ones which seemed more like trying to progress with love, this one seemed to have a weirder vibe to it. like, if he could get back with the girl and mend his mistakes then he would, but he knows it won't happen. so instead of trying, he quits. he gives up, and takes it a little harsh. the whole peom was written real nicely. loved it. thanks for the read again write ..


- Nash

[Spoken]

word man^^exactly what i did though i didnt move on with no care i moved on and told her ill will still be there fo rhim but just not there for you...only him my son.

this by the way has been a real true story man. part 1,2 and 3 about my life so far...so thanks for understanding

[Spoken]

bumpin i know it aint all that but a feed of interest from others wouldnt hurt would it?

[Dyl]

Ok this was really a great read my man.I just realised how fucking dope you can write its unbelievable to be honest.To think back on your early days as a writer and to fast foward to now...well its truely amazing and you are bring some excellent pieces to the members of RB.The piece itself was very creative twists and turns and emotion was deep also.You partrayed with very strong emotion infact and as it was a true story, you really got it out there and explained it quite well to the readers.I myself usually don't write about love but when you read something so unique it is a pleasure.Thats what this was a plesura to read.Thanks again man for the great read.

Could you please RTF and drop some feed on "Gost Dance"

[Soule]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=343761

[Twixn...]

Alright im going to be as constructive as possible . cause usually i just compliment. i thought the start of this poem was more just talking about what is going on with this guy with nothing too special added in. However that was just the first two stanzas.

“Portrait emotions,
glance down with frowns.
My thoughts stay afloat,
mixed feelings keep me ground.
I can’t seem to explain,
what’s wrong with me.
I care for you but then I don’t,
insanity has reached extreme.”

^ i thought that stanza was dope as fuck, my fav part of the poem, and after that i really got into it, i thought you started being more abstract with word choice after that instead of just descibing what was going on, don't get me wrong the whole poem was packed full of emotion including the first part.

Would you want him to feel are pain?

should be our pain, just something that looked a little awkward to me...

Dope poem man i thought it picked up alot of momentum and really carried all the way to the end... great work.

[Spoken]

thanks guys for your time man i really appreciate it much man.


ill hit all links

[LedgenZ]

Can't believed I overlooked this piece. I agree with the heads above me, this piece was throttled with a lot of great emotion - and the emotion is what really stood-out the most me - even above the poetic techniques. What I really enjoyed was the complications you encountered when trying to write your letter. It really allowed the reader to enter into your thought process. I though that was a nice little bonus and incentive to read. Hmmm like I said the emotion was there, the relativity was there, and just the overall connection was there. I'd call this piece a success. You defiantly did your thing and flexed some advance skills here. A wonderful triqual to an already magnificent series.

Favorite lines:

I confront these reminiscing times,
in my best of interest…
…to put a smile on your face- again.
I miss those times we used to cuddle,
under the stars playing connect the dots.
I remember the times we used to,
go to the beach, making our feet,
dab the water here and there.
-The tides caressing our feet

^Just a beautiful stroll down memory lane that leaves you with a sense of nostalgia. I loved those line the most cause I could relate to the to having those types of moments.


Finally:

I put the letter in its envelope,
the next morning it was sent.
-I hope she gets it and understands.
I know my wrong doings and I was never proud.
she is the light of my life, for our child sake.
I love her but not enough…
… To try and mend our bad habits together.
I bleed for her,
cause the pain she went through was my fault.
I am trying to do the best I can,
to show I can be a helping a hand.
-in a positive way
My time runs out,
i lose control of my eyes.
My lids seal shut,
i ignite my drowned emotions,
and melt them together as one.

^Again, just some wonderful lines jammed pack with emotions and confessions.

I don't know man, I just thought this piece was..was..it was dope man! Keep 'em comin'.


pZ

[Spoken]

thanks man for your thoughts on such shor tnotice man of things dude props man anad appreciate your time ledge we shall collab soon man

[Spoken]

bumpin.......

[Poeta Demonio]

It's good you're writing alot, but please, follow the rules bro. lol

closed.