"U" by Diverged

[Masahiko.]

U
For Casi

I saght after yor featres bt they fond me,
Why did it happen?
Why can't I breath?
I mst get it throgh rogh bondaries
I don't know why
I can't ask how we see,
nderstand my redndance to overthrow trth
I've been searching,
Searching for proof.
Ct my sol, pond on it rthless
Bitter, so bitter
We seek, we find we cant be blessed

Where is it?
Where's love?
togh, so rogh, bt can't even be toched
Star crossed?
Heart throb?
Tssled, mssled from my cltch.
I need help
I need it.
Bt it's so lod, bt ears cant reach it.
Eyes can't see it
Fingers can't feel
Bt to toch sch a sol, cold never be real.

Tamed? nearthed, demons, ghols.
I just want it,
call me, what I am: a fool.
Sch a simple sggestion, confession so crel
All that I need,
All that is satisfying,
All I need,
Is you.

[Masahiko.]

Will return the favor with good Constructive criticsm.

[HIStory]

The piece was beautifuly creative. With the internet styled words. It was jst rlly cool. lol. The wording as I said was beautifuly creative. And imagery was remarkible. Emotion was very deep and impactive. overall I really liked this piece man, keep writing.

return the favor with "Confused Steps" please?

[Masahiko.]

will do man, appreciated.
Not internet slang though, really look at it.

[Laureate]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...rt-355107.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ml#post6110526

[Masahiko.]

ily laureate.

[CrownINC]

Nice wordin man, Great lines...like this one.

I need help
I need it.
Bt it's so lod, bt ears cant reach it.
Eyes can't see it
Fingers can't feel
Bt to toch sch a sol, cold never be real

i knw how it feels, anyway great job.

[Masahiko.]

thanks, up will rtf with quality feedback.

[Mysterion]

untitled.

Interesting structure, overall I couldn't really understand the point of the odd structure. But as a poem, this was pretty good, you had a decent use metaphors.. and I like the more narrative approach you took to the piece because thats how I write lol. Sorry that I didn't quite catch the reason to the words, but other than that I thought this was an interesting piece. please leave at least as much feed I have left you. Respect.

[Masahiko.]

i challenge someone to catch the purpose.

[Ink Poyzin]

this was a short but deep piece. the emotion in
it was strong and you writing it all fucked up with
missing words just made it stronger... like you
cried to this, as you were writing it....

but I seen you do something else...
the poem is called "U" and you took the U's out...
why you did it...hmmm
cuz they reminded you, of her?
cuz this poem is to her..

did i catch the purpose?

[Ink Poyzin]

but you left the "U" in "you" at the end... lol

[Masahiko.]

nothing makes sense without "u"

and thats why i put it in the last "You"

[Grizbear]

wow, I actually caught the meaning after the guy ahead of you brought up his idea. not much to say other than that this was a VERY creative piece, with-alot of emotion. you have my HoF vote for sure.
rtf
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...31#post6151431

[Gestures]

Well, this was creative, Verge! I'll second the HOF nom sure enough. I noticed that you left out the U in most of the words, but I didn't catch on as to WHY you done it until the end. Wording was obviously dope. Imagery was nice too, what really stood out was the emotion and how effective the whole U thing was. Great stuff man, hit up my collab please.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...nz-357931.html