I wrote this for my now Fiance... There was a battle in my mind about asking her to be my wife because logic and heart were just tearing at different sides of my brain...So thats why I wrote this. There is some personal imagery involving tattoos and biblical stuff. This is ment to be a spoken word bit. So view it that way and it all comes together... dope?
Any questions or whatever, ask...
Here it is!
Paradox within a tattered and torn man-
Everyone has their demons…
Maybe something left back on the railroad track…
Maybe something this old engine can’t unload.
Like a perfect origami box; except it’s within fold.
Everyone has that battle inside…
The life altering decisions or your prideful political opinion
Wishful dreams of feminine things collide with church ideals
I think I’ll lay time to slaughter to rip inside myself,
To figure out what it is that makes this mind of mine
click…
Logic:
I’m sick full of the Systems and schematics that tell me it won’t happen.
Your account has to bleed green a little bit before you
pluck that Rose of Sharon.
People often say it’s okay to wonder the garden and prune a bit though
I guess that takes off the pressure of touching things I didn’t know
And I’m an educated man; theologies and philosophies,
mixed with classic Catholic eulogies create a sense of unity in this mind
Whilst seeking the meaning of the inscriptions on the wall,
skipping through the labyrinth of ideological truths, I tend to fall
Cut my knees, slice my chin, and ruin my favorite pair of paints…
But I sleep at night knowing I’ll eventually conquer it all
With all this blissful thinking, I forget there’s a piece missing
Its drums of thunder heard, blocking out the noises in my head
Keating grabbing my face, telling me to scream from my heart
Its been beating inside me sense birth, gnashing its teeth from the start
And now it rears its ugly head, slipping inside my
quiet life of desperation… I guess I left a window cracked
Heart:
I can’t explain or reason out the reason I dream about her face,
chasing her under a parted sky, ripped by time
Soaking in every moment, wanting nothing left behind
Words, bars, and lines can’t explain the rain that falls on my head.
It might kill me if it ends…but I’m simply love struck
My insides might die… But her face would be the pattern of my cuts
"I mourn every tear you shed, regardless of why you wept"
And I’ve cried, tears flowing onto your lap, until my souls got nothing left
Emotions like this might make me look like a broke spirit- at best
I’ll have this love carved into the center of my chest,
Letting the inkwell convey what words can hardly touch
But sometimes reality sinks in, taking swipes on these thoughts,
Kicking in the door, re-opening the sore, destroying what I felt before
Now I grasp my heart’s truth about as well as I can hold onto fate
Reasoning out the reasons as I pillage and rape this feeling of love…
And now it rears it’s ugly head, slipping inside my
quiet life of desperation… I guess I left a window cracked
In the end I can give testimony to the reality of this love
No one can make sense of something that you can’t explain
with either side of your brain…Left or right
Logic or heart… I can’t begin to understand the calls of the wind
But I will scribe my heart and mind into all that I am
Wrap it tightly, covered in truth, facts, tears and blood…
Filled with my filth, muck, mire and mud…
All that I am, given to one person; kept out of plain view
I’ll give it all I got to destroy these walls of insecurity
and give myself to you…