A Third Of The Stars

[Joseph Grey]

A third of the stars
shine until they get hurt and get scarred
around their nerves and their hearts
Cameras perfectly spark
Light flashes
at the hidden faces cursed in the dark
Action!
The purging departs, the irking embarks

Exhausted sun glasses
strictly shield paparazzi
in a misty field of fisting cheers
knocking out privacy
until Britney Spears is in the clear
Journalist shift their gears,

speeding up to her kid sister,
criticizing the pregnancy,
now her baby joins the Big Dipper!
But when celebrities celebrate celibacy
like the Jonas Brothers,
show biz fuckers and hoeish suckers
tell’em to go get rubbers

Will the band reach Nirvana?
The world of fame is hell
filled with jokers…
In a sense, Heath Ledger saved himself

and dropped a BOMB on us.
I wish upon the dust until this day.
Can I be anonymous… but still do it the Milky Way?






http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...gs-384392.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...rs-384350.html

Side Note: This was a Sacred Scriptures piece that got slept on. Thank you for reading and leave links..

[Jawn Raw]

this was a cool little piece. it had a cool flow and a great emotion to it as well. personally i like periods and sentence structure more than just not using anything at all because it helps me as the reader no when to pause so i just paused at the end of each line. i'm pretty sure that's how you wrote it but anyway the creativity was pretty strong and i like the message in the piece. it could have used better vocab at times but overall the word choice was well used. nice drop.

[D Spleezy]

Nice Drop Man...i Liked The Imagery In This Poem...i Liked How You Compared Astrology To Britney Spears...yea I Really Like Dis One...keep Em Comin'

[Sting3r]

Perfect

Transitioning from description to content.. loved it.
the camera imagery in the first part was a nice start that made me keep reading..

but heath ledger.. too soon.. still too soon!

[The Genesis]

mehh, wasn't really feeling it. as far as multies go it was ok, the flow was on point. but trying to be poetic and deep on the subject of pop tabloid celebrities getting harrassed by media and paparazzi? seems a bit corny to me. but keep at it, stay up.

[Joseph Grey]

Thanks for your response, but you obviously didn't dig too deep into my piece. Its not just about celebs getting harassed by media and paparazzi... but it was also about me questioning whether or not i really want to be famous since it has its bad side to it. The last line in the piece is very important. But hey, seeing from your post, i can tell you prefer reading pieces that aren't TOO deep. cuz i can go on and on and explain every single bar in my piece and the deeper side of each line.

[The Genesis]

nah, I got what your piece was about, and even if you did become 'famous' I don't think you'd have to worry about being put in the same category or celebrity status as Britney Spears or Heath Ledger, tabloid shit is more pop culture as opposed to hip hop. so as a whole I wasn't feeling this joint, and you're right, I'm not too into the poetic shit, but you asked me to RTF and I did, so stay up, keep dropping.