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Thread: The World I Know

  1. #1
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    The World I Know

    The World I Know

    With it’s cobbled streets and winding pathways
    Crooked corners and crannies sheltering crooks;
    Old nannies walking with rebellious umbrellas
    And an armful of Roald Dahl books;
    Chimney sweeps smoked by men smoking
    Getting warm to their heart’s content;
    As they swept off the dregs, the dregs of society.
    Their ashen brows told a story, hardship and mistrust
    With Oliver the pickpocket,
    picking posies from my pocket;
    And a tissue a tissue,
    as we all came tumbling down;
    Mam had painted the windows black
    And as we scurried to the shelter;
    She gave her last hurrah!
    Only to be blown away by a stray;
    That was us living in London
    A helter-skelter life.

    So what made us so at peace
    In this world of rotten peaches
    Picked in the bud by preachers
    And our teachers were missing;
    The wave of the skinheads
    The people of reggae and weed;
    warped till only weeds remained
    and in the place of peace
    was a hateful speech,
    drawing borders;
    my neighbour my enemy.

    Yet in my little world all was well;
    Free from the sea men
    And their treacherous seamen
    That grew to become free men
    Which corrupted the 7 seas;
    And bought home prized treasure;
    Their very own, fully mechanical
    Working servant folk.

    We sang the blues in the blues of the rain;
    The dew of harvest, and as the tune moved
    So did we, from the fields to the backstreets
    Singing in the Cadillac upon the board of chess.

    So far removed we were once one;
    now our lies make us sit apart
    And our harlequin masks
    Cover our two-tone hearts;
    Our black tongues cursing
    “Paki”, “Nigger”, “Wetback”
    “Jew”, “Cracker”
    Every word a setback,
    But why preach to the choir?
    They’re deaf and dumb
    So I preach to the fire;
    The eternal flame of hope
    So close to be extinguished
    It’s last flames but just embers;
    And this world is full of vultures
    There isn’t a phoenix here;
    So no revival or rebirth;
    When I die….
    Just tax my bones till they become lax
    And take what’s mine…till they break;
    And when nothing is left
    Lay upon my grave a wreath;
    “He was a gracious and generous man”

    -God.


  2. #2

  3. #3
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: The World I Know

    .....

  4. #4
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: The World I Know

    you know you can leave links.

  5. #5
    :.Swagger Found.: Uben. Sonned's Avatar
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    Re: The World I Know

    I shall leave feed once I return Baron P Mortuus, I'm at my family's house.
    I'll edit here my friend.

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  6. #6
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    Re: The World I Know

    i loved the diction in this. it was straight forward and out there with your emotion on the line. i liked how you came about with things and placed your words fairly assorted man. Your content is what i love the most about you and how you make a DROP of poetry your own man was always your upside homie. ok i am just gonna state your ups and not your downs through this because i dont care to show it off cause you arleady know your flaws homie.

    With it’s cobbled streets and winding pathways
    Crooked corners and crannies sheltering crooks;
    Old nannies walking with rebellious umbrellas
    And an armful of Roald Dahl books;
    Chimney sweeps smoked by men smoking
    Getting warm to their heart’s content;
    As they swept off the dregs, the dregs of society.
    Liked how you started off your whole piece man... shit was relaly taking off and the emotio nwas illy on point man. it was great and i noticed your word choice was also a little underneath the true meaning there was a little humor in it...nothing to laugh about just something like WOW!...ahah cool line fuck.

    So far removed we were once one;
    now our lies make us sit apart
    And our harlequin masks
    Cover our two-tone hearts;
    Our black tongues cursing
    “Paki”, “Nigger”, “Wetback”
    “Jew”, “Cracker”
    Every word a setback,
    But why preach to the choir?
    They’re deaf and dumb
    So I preach to the fire;
    The eternal flame of hope
    So close to be extinguished
    It’s last flames but just embers;
    And this world is full of vultures
    There isn’t a phoenix here;
    So no revival or rebirth;
    When I die….
    Just tax my bones till they become lax
    And take what’s mine…till they break;
    And when nothing is left
    Lay upon my grave a wreath;
    “He was a gracious and generous man”
    loved the ending. the emotion packed there with its great diction and content was the flare moment cause it was the last heat of the moment type of clash nah mean i loved your poem all around could you RTF though homie...

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  7. #7
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: The World I Know

    Returned. Up^.

  8. #8
    IPeace. Costa.'s Avatar
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    Re: The World I Know

    I'm not much a feeder so excuse me. What I really like about this scribe was the style of speech. Every line flowed so easily to me, and, creating a stanza off of one word, I.E "Sea". I've seen/heard it before, I think KRS-One uses this kind of style and delivery. Anyway, The imagination and details you've portrayed in this scribe was wonderful and also between the lines, fantastic show of emotion. Love the way you tell a story through each stanza..Dope Scribe, Cheers, OneLuv.

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