Another freestyle

[verde622]

Ayyo kid, let me make a proper introduction
Like kicking through the door with the dual mags busting
We're not in the same leauge, not even the same discussion
So pardon me for cussing but you fags are really something
We're not in the same universe, I'm on my own planet
and this is so off the top, impossible to plan it
Cash in douffle bags attract me like magnit
Its more than a habit, addiction, I got to have
I'm hungry, I'm feeding , I'm greedy, I'm a bandit
Money over bitches to the grave, goddamnit.
Another re-up, passing blunts in traffic
The cops notice when I ash it,
see blue lights, I stash it
A few keys in the trunk, how novice, how tragic
that this nosey little piggies going home in a casket

[Intellexual]

You stayed on topic, though some of your points were revisited without advancement. Maybe if you switched stuff like, "We're not in the same universe, I'm on my own planet", the logic would have been progressive. For instance, "Its more than a habit, addiction, I got to have [it]" has a logical progression.

The rhyme scheme was elementary, but you didn't use it as filler, which is quality. Overall, it was remarkably simple, but also doesn't suffer from ailments which would hinder lyrical growth. You're working with something, for sure. Polish and upgrade your tools; that will reflect in your lyrics (I'd wager).

[verde622]

thatnks for the feedback. That line should probably go, "Its not a habit, I got to have it, I'm an addict"