Between Good-Bye's

[Spoken]

Between Goodbye's
Written By: Mr.Write & Spekz

Our song of whispers,
has played it's last set.
Do they notice
that I stare deeply
into the galaxy in your eyes.
The oceans between
crash vigorously
upon our shore we share
but divide with
our hearts beating...
Day by Day-

Am I alone?
does emotion cry
itself to sleep?
My mind dreams of dreaming,
while my heart still
stays searching for comfort.
The embedded rocks
That glass case my feelings
Behind pertinent cries
That leave many in shadows
And fear-
I curled my fingers
Around love
For a tighter grip,
A second grasp of chance..

Of
Eternity-
Belief-
Love-

I hoped for you to come around,
A way of showing a better person
That you are-

I believed in myself a bit too much,
For you to not see me at all.
So please forgive me,
When I tell you- later
That I don’t love you anymore
.
.
.
...and away we went with failure...
.
.
.
Gasps of true love
flood my lungs,
strung on hello’s
cutting my lines to escape,
sighs of good-byes
lace my voice inside,
but never vanquish.
Still, struggling with thoughts
Of leaving you – and being true;
With you. Now im stuck
Heart racing, you stare;
Stomach turns – but I remain
Stationary, color drains,
Pain facing me.
See baby….
my voice trails
Weakening at your beauty,
NO.
shaking my thoughts,
In hope a new picture paints itself.
Grasping my pair,
Confidence still impaired
skin trembles, resembling nerves
Of the night, I said…
…I love you.
Now,
Im lost in your eyes,
Trying too…
…say good-bye.

So i hope you understand
when i tell your dreams...
... we we're just not meant to be.
-It hurts

to say it like this belittles me,
but he does a better job of showing.

[Spoken]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...nd-393996.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...th-393826.html

[Cody Nash]

pretty sick guys.. not a bad read. I liked the concept. "Between goodbyes" kind've mysterious the way you guys wrote it in a way. there was a lot of great poetic language though and honestly your styles blended brilliantly. I can't tell who's who. I'm assuming spekz was the last couple stanzas though.. favorite parts:


Still, struggling with thoughts
Of leaving you – and being true;
With you. Now im stuck
Heart racing, you stare;
Stomach turns – but I remain
Stationary, color drains,
Pain facing me.
See baby….
my voice trails
Weakening at your beauty,

^^assuming that was spekz, that shit was just damn lol.. but word.. really dug that part.. and also this..

And fear-
I curled my fingers
Around love
For a tighter grip,
A second grasp of chance..

Of
Eternity-
Belief-
Love-


^^that was pretty dope too.. not bad, not bad.


pretty well done collabo here. seems pretty organized. no real complaints. the "embedded rocks/glass case" lines one right after the other was the only thing that struck me as weird because the comparison just seemed odd. but maybe it was meant to be like that. anyways... good read dudes!!



- Cry

[Alphaeus]

This was a really nice read and had some great emotion and images spread through out,
I was hooked by the awesome language both writers adopted, very nice.

I loved the talk of the persons emotions, both of you, as writers can really pull this off,
so I was expecting big things and got them.
The concept was tackled well and imagery/description was used well and added to the read with lots of deep and raw emotion.

I believed in myself a bit too much,
For you to not see me at all.
So please forgive me,
When I tell you- later
That I don’t love you anymore

^^This part was dope, I loved the word choice and it really stood out, fantastic.

Our song of whispers,
has played it's last set.
Do they notice
that I stare deeply
into the galaxy in your eyes.
The oceans between
crash vigorously
upon our shore we share

As an opener this was top notch, it set the read and hooked me in, lovely language.

Gasps of true love
flood my lungs,
strung on hello’s
cutting my lines to escape,
sighs of good-byes
lace my voice inside,
but never vanquish.

A great way to start the second part, I really enjoyed the images painted here,
great wording and raw.

Thought both of you did well here, a nice read all round,

Peace.

[Spoken]

thanks guys

[Alphaeus]

could you leave feed

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...as-393976.html

[Spoken]

will do atmo

[Orc]

I curled my fingers
Around love
For a tighter grip,
A second grasp of chance..

idk who wrote that, but it was really nice.
overall this was a great collab, both had some seriously wonderful imagery.. this was the best thing i've read in a long time if i'm being honest. the nostalgic feel was refreshing considering all of my own poems end up like that, the first person had great line breaks and wording and the second brought a personal feel which brought the poem to life with some witty lines. this deserves a NOM.. remind me to nom it if nobody else does. please return the feed.

[Spoken]

just remembered this


i thought this deserved alot more looks it was great

[Novade]

dope dope dope...imagery was compeltly dope..flow was good...i liked the creativity..it was well written and not all over, story line was a goo one of choice.....overall pretty much a weel written sick drop...really enjoyed this, you guys kept me intrested the whole time and you made the "reader" want to read more...Nice drop...big plus from me..keep it up to keep this section active...return the feed...props


-Novade

[Spoken]

word novade will do man