Check Wednesday by Midnight
Drop by Friday Midnight
LLL Rules Apply Strictly
Don't forget Links
Current Champ: Token
Check Wednesday by Midnight
Drop by Friday Midnight
LLL Rules Apply Strictly
Don't forget Links
Current Champ: Token
30..
Bartender can't vote.. good luck Toke..........
Kontext Vs. Cry
Last edited by Barcotic; April 1st, 2009 at 02:24 PM
Last edited by Token; April 4th, 2009 at 03:02 PM
check it..
everyone agrees ur just a clown, a joke of the league headin' for pavement
cuz i think its funny how I could drop a Punch using nothing but statements
fuckin pussy, made it the top for nothin, cuz im blazin up vile
tryna snatch the belt? this bitch'll just stay untitled like never savin' a file
quit kissing my ass dude, ur a faggot of weak stout
& when I say Bar overrides me in LLL, it ain't cuz he's the mod of the league now
i gotta bad temper, & this faggot fuck could never be fire
shit, watch me smash a fuckin' punch through the wall with no knuckles required
ur verses are fuckin earsores, i ain't even seen concepts that old
in fact, everytime itune into your shit I rip Apple's support a new asshole
concept flippin' faggot, you already know i'ma wreck you
shit, if ur scared chrit'll vote against you..
..why not list the rest of league in your check too?
drown your loss in some alcohol, ur a drunk fuck so face it
i'ma spike this Punch so sharp it's guaranteed to leave this fuck wasted
fuckin virgin, aint no girl on Top his Lap, i'll leave this wack shook for hits
shit I gotta Mack book fulla digits...he relies on a Macbook for chicks
see me in a pub or a battle, i'm layin you out, there's no doubt in it
shit, i'll just use Bars tool, & do some flipping..
..then knock you the fuck out with it
not a fuckin person here accepts your modship, your retarded to less
so I told the league to bare with me, and this fag started to undress
so much shit i could diss you about, it's obvious your worse than all
it's sad that i can use any lines i've ever written on you as personals
u got some FL fans, but all the vets know i'll give him bare hell
shit, I got the whole league doin' the wave.. just to bid him a farewell
nobody wants to listen to a word you speak, in fact ur just one i'll rip again
shit, if Punch ever hits the air.. then it's simply cuz he's missed again
you get ur concepts from other people, you ain't really beast tight
so if i'm dropping a Punch line then you know it's been flipped at least twice
ima expose you fucks now.. step aside bar, i'ma deal with a past geek
listen, no matter how much re-wording you do for this wack fuck, I still beat you last week
thats right com, your secret's out that you help him hard on text
but I guess it was predicted... that he'll change his name to Barcom next
all of the clues prove the case, com's ur buddy on some gay shit
bitch how u gon run the league.. we can't even take your verses in moderation
Now go back to Front Lines, you have some newbies to attend to
Token ain't a Real man, he's just a wimp that doesn't want drama,
..so I'll distill he cries like a bitch and begs for shots of COM's vodka..
The last time we battled I hardly tried so my shit wasn't even testable,
..but since I now carrots just a matter of time til I turn him to a vegetable..
This weak bitch could never hurt me, he's too damn old and frail,
..watch as the kidneys me and I elbow him so hard his organs fail..
He says his crib's nice but it's not, he should probably stop boastin,
..shit, I wonder how long it'll beetle he gets rid of the cockroaches..
He's broke and there's no girl in the world that wants his worthless ass,
..even if he stole afford he wouldn't have enough money to purchase gas..
He's always after the same girl at the club but never gets his cock wet,
..if elixir it's only cuz the powder he put in her drink didn't wear off yet..
His mother made a mean statement when he was born; "fate sucks
..and I'm only willing to be his mummify can wrap his ugly face up"..
Straight up, and bro, you spoke on COM getting evicted but why talk?
..you're not a landlord just cuz you rule your own section of a sidewalk..
You talk alot but you're fake, everything you do and say is a scam,
..and bitch, if you ever shoguns they're most definitly made in Japan..
Dawg, why'd you try hiding Impasse? you're whack for blowin smoke,
..he's your sidekick and you duo him a handjob for his last Token vote..
Why so cocky? you're the only one who thinks your drops are ascending,
..if you don't start to actor spit like a vet I'll give you props for pretending..
You thought your last verse was lively but it was really awful and dead,
..it never bloomy away, now COM's sendin flowers to your hospital bed..
You try your best every time but you're not improvin shit mate,
..so stop reaching for the stars....you'll be there soon at this rate..
I'm so fuckin sick of reading your weak shit man, every line is worthless,
..and you're a supermod now....so please pull a Dios and hide your verses..
Every line I just wrote was a fact, I'm known for spittin the truth,
..this battle was Punch-Token....which is what everyone is itchin to do..
Now you have a choice, either stay while the league debates your skill,
..or your other option would believe LLL....and we all have faith you will..
You might respect me more when you get up from the floor dude,
..but I won't be shakin your hand....the seizure already did it for you..
fuckin pussy, made it the top for nothin, cuz im blazin up vile
tryna snatch the belt? this bitch'll just stay untitled like never savin' a file
quit kissing my ass dude, ur a faggot of weak stout
& when I say Bar overrides me in LLL, it ain't cuz he's the mod of the league now
u got some FL fans, but all the vets know i'll give him bare hell
shit, I got the whole league doin' the wave.. just to bid him a farewell
nobody wants to listen to a word you speak, in fact ur just one i'll rip again
shit, if Punch ever hits the air.. then it's simply cuz he's missed again
ma expose you fucks now.. step aside bar, i'ma deal with a past geek
listen, no matter how much re-wording you do for this wack fuck, I still beat you last week
thats right com, your secret's out that you help him hard on text
but I guess it was predicted... that he'll change his name to Barcom next
vs
Token ain't a Real man, he's just a wimp that doesn't want drama,
..so I'll distill he cries like a bitch and begs for shots of COM's vodka..
He's always after the same girl at the club but never gets his cock wet,
..if elixir it's only cuz the powder he put in her drink didn't wear off yet..
Every line I just wrote was a fact, I'm known for spittin the truth,
..this battle was Punch-Token....which is what everyone is itchin to do..
Now you have a choice, either stay while the league debates your skill,
..or your other option would believe LLL....and we all have faith you will..
Eh... Token was pretty dope here. Better than last week. A ton of fresh stuff... was a cool read.
Barcotic: the constant wordplay was sloppy and stale. You cant use the exact same type of punch every line and have it be effective. When using wordplay correctly, it should make sense reading the word as normal and also reading it as the wordplay... there were multiple instances of you not doing that. Decent concepts, but many were wasted in the way you presented them.
Feedback: Token
AI
everyone agrees ur just a clown, a joke of the league headin' for pavement
cuz i think its funny how I could drop a Punch using nothing but statements
fuckin pussy, made it the top for nothin, cuz im blazin up vile
tryna snatch the belt? this bitch'll just stay untitled like never savin' a file
i gotta bad temper, & this faggot fuck could never be fire
shit, watch me smash a fuckin' punch through the wall with no knuckles required
ur verses are fuckin earsores, i ain't even seen concepts that old
in fact, everytime itune into your shit I rip Apple's support a new asshole
see me in a pub or a battle, i'm layin you out, there's no doubt in it
shit, i'll just use Bars tool, & do some flipping..
..then knock you the fuck out with it
not a fuckin person here accepts your modship, your retarded to less
so I told the league to bare with me, and this fag started to undress
u got some FL fans, but all the vets know i'll give him bare hell
shit, I got the whole league doin' the wave.. just to bid him a farewell
ima expose you fucks now.. step aside bar, i'ma deal with a past geek
listen, no matter how much re-wording you do for this wack fuck, I still beat you last week
thats right com, your secret's out that you help him hard on text
but I guess it was predicted... that he'll change his name to Barcom next
all of the clues prove the case, com's ur buddy on some gay shit
bitch how u gon run the league.. we can't even take your verses in moderation
VS.
The last time we battled I hardly tried so my shit wasn't even testable,
..but since I now carrots just a matter of time til I turn him to a vegetable..
He says his crib's nice but it's not, he should probably stop boastin,
..shit, I wonder how long it'll beetle he gets rid of the cockroaches..
He's broke and there's no girl in the world that wants his worthless ass,
..even if he stole afford he wouldn't have enough money to purchase gas..
Dawg, why'd you try hiding Impasse? you're whack for blowin smoke,
..he's your sidekick and you duo him a handjob for his last Token vote..
Why so cocky? you're the only one who thinks your drops are ascending,
..if you don't start to actor spit like a vet I'll give you props for pretending..
Now you have a choice, either stay while the league debates your skill,
..or your other option would believe LLL....and we all have faith you will..
You might respect me more when you get up from the floor dude,
..but I won't be shakin your hand....the seizure already did it for you..
Token - Sick ass verse, on par with the shit youve been droping the last couple of weeks. The nameplay n personals were all on point. Flowed damn well through out too. Not really a bad thing i can say about it.
Punch - This was prolly one of the better verses I have read from you. You have really upped your wordplay game, for the most part it was fire. I would have liked to see you come a little more personal.
Overall - I think this battle came down to personals because everywere else I see it as a dead even draw. Like I said above, Punch I wish you would have came more personal through out because thats what has me leaning in Eths direction. I just felt his verse was harsher. dope battle nontheless. props you guys.
Vote - Token.
everyone agrees ur just a clown, a joke of the league headin' for pavement
cuz i think its funny how I could drop a Punch using nothing but statements
fuckin pussy, made it the top for nothin, cuz im blazin up vile
tryna snatch the belt? this bitch'll just stay untitled like never savin' a file
ur verses are fuckin earsores, i ain't even seen concepts that old
in fact, everytime itune into your shit I rip Apple's support a new asshole
concept flippin' faggot, you already know i'ma wreck you
shit, if ur scared chrit'll vote against you..
..why not list the rest of league in your check too?
thats right com, your secret's out that you help him hard on text
but I guess it was predicted... that he'll change his name to Barcom next
all of the clues prove the case, com's ur buddy on some gay shit
bitch how u gon run the league.. we can't even take your verses in moderation
vs
Token ain't a Real man, he's just a wimp that doesn't want drama,
..so I'll distill he cries like a bitch and begs for shots of COM's vodka..
think i might've heard this before
He says his crib's nice but it's not, he should probably stop boastin,
..shit, I wonder how long it'll beetle he gets rid of the cockroaches..
His mother made a mean statement when he was born; "fate sucks
..and I'm only willing to be his mummify can wrap his ugly face up"..
nice flip
I'm so fuckin sick of reading your weak shit man, every line is worthless,
..and you're a supermod now....so please pull a Dios and hide your verses..
Every line I just wrote was a fact, I'm known for spittin the truth,
..this battle was Punch-Token....which is what everyone is itchin to do..
Token-got tired of the Punch nameplays lol
almost quoted the bare w/ me punch, but i'm pretty sure i've heard this concept before. liked the swag on it tho. same w/ 'doin the wave'.
solid verse overall tho. even the misses were pretty good.
Bar-like your first 3 bars were nameplays that i've seen before so i wasn't feelin the start lol same w/ the afford, shogun, landlord, and believe wordplay. i mean, it's like you're overdoing it w/ the wordplay. gets kinda predictable after a while. elixir almost hit, just didnt like the wording.
i think bar had to stretch to reach that 30 line limit. shoulda just dropped first n kept it at 20 n i think u woulda won lol but anyway..
v/ Token
Last edited by Tony B; April 1st, 2009 at 03:43 PM
- King Tone
fuckin pussy, made it the top for nothin, cuz im blazin up vile
tryna snatch the belt? this bitch'll just stay untitled like never savin' a file
quit kissing my ass dude, ur a faggot of weak stout
& when I say Bar overrides me in LLL, it ain't cuz he's the mod of the league now
gotta bad temper, & this faggot fuck could never be fire
shit, watch me smash a fuckin' punch through the wall with no knuckles required
u got some FL fans, but all the vets know i'll give him bare hell
shit, I got the whole league doin' the wave.. just to bid him a farewell
nobody wants to listen to a word you speak, in fact ur just one i'll rip again
shit, if Punch ever hits the air.. then it's simply cuz he's missed again
ma expose you fucks now.. step aside bar, i'ma deal with a past geek
thats right com, your secret's out that you help him hard on text
but I guess it was predicted... that he'll change his name to Barcom next
v.s
This weak bitch could never hurt me, he's too damn old and frail,
..watch as the kidneys me and I elbow him so hard his organs fail..
He's always after the same girl at the club but never gets his cock wet,
..if elixir it's only cuz the powder he put in her drink didn't wear off yet..
Why so cocky? you're the only one who thinks your drops are ascending,
..if you don't start to actor spit like a vet I'll give you props for pretending..
Every line I just wrote was a fact, I'm known for spittin the truth,
..this battle was Punch-Token....which is what everyone is itchin to do..
Overall=good battle I enjoyed the read....But overall I beleive Eth took it with harder hits & consistancy but punch wasnt far behind..but i think you had the worst misses
vote-Token
LethalXpressionZ
Xpressing Lethalness
chrit dont post in here again please
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everyone agrees ur just a clown, a joke of the league headin' for pavement
cuz i think its funny how I could drop a Punch using nothing but statements
funny, alright
fuckin pussy, made it the top for nothin, cuz im blazin up vile
tryna snatch the belt? this bitch'll just stay untitled like never savin' a file
alright similie
quit kissing my ass dude, ur a faggot of weak stout
& when I say Bar overrides me in LLL, it ain't cuz he's the mod of the league now
this was cool
i gotta bad temper, & this faggot fuck could never be fire
shit, watch me smash a fuckin' punch through the wall with no knuckles required
ok.. expected
ur verses are fuckin earsores, i ain't even seen concepts that old
in fact, everytime itune into your shit I rip Apple's support a new asshole
alright again
concept flippin' faggot, you already know i'ma wreck you
shit, if ur scared chrit'll vote against you..
..why not list the rest of league in your check too?
hmm, cool
drown your loss in some alcohol, ur a drunk fuck so face it
i'ma spike this Punch so sharp it's guaranteed to leave this fuck wasted
haha nice
fuckin virgin, aint no girl on Top his Lap, i'll leave this wack shook for hits
shit I gotta Mack book fulla digits...he relies on a Macbook for chicks
don't like this one
see me in a pub or a battle, i'm layin you out, there's no doubt in it
shit, i'll just use Bars tool, & do some flipping..
..then knock you the fuck out with it
this was dope
not a fuckin person here accepts your modship, your retarded to less
so I told the league to bare with me, and this fag started to undress
played here
so much shit i could diss you about, it's obvious your worse than all
it's sad that i can use any lines i've ever written on you as personals
idk man not really..
u got some FL fans, but all the vets know i'll give him bare hell
shit, I got the whole league doin' the wave.. just to bid him a farewell
seen it before
nobody wants to listen to a word you speak, in fact ur just one i'll rip again
shit, if Punch ever hits the air.. then it's simply cuz he's missed again
seen it before
you get ur concepts from other people, you ain't really beast tight
so if i'm dropping a Punch line then you know it's been flipped at least twice
haha dope
ima expose you fucks now.. step aside bar, i'ma deal with a past geek
listen, no matter how much re-wording you do for this wack fuck, I still beat you last week
ehh
thats right com, your secret's out that you help him hard on text
but I guess it was predicted... that he'll change his name to Barcom next
lmfaoooo dope
all of the clues prove the case, com's ur buddy on some gay shit
bitch how u gon run the league.. we can't even take your verses in moderation
seen it before
vs
Token ain't a Real man, he's just a wimp that doesn't want drama,
..so I'll distill he cries like a bitch and begs for shots of COM's vodka..
slightly forced on the dis
The last time we battled I hardly tried so my shit wasn't even testable,
..but since I now carrots just a matter of time til I turn him to a vegetable..
this just came off corny
This weak bitch could never hurt me, he's too damn old and frail,
..watch as the kidneys me and I elbow him so hard his organs fail..
alrightish
He says his crib's nice but it's not, he should probably stop boastin,
..shit, I wonder how long it'll beetle he gets rid of the cockroaches..
it's not really hard.. i feel like im reading the same bar over & over
He's broke and there's no girl in the world that wants his worthless ass,
..even if he stole afford he wouldn't have enough money to purchase gas..
seen the wp done
He's always after the same girl at the club but never gets his cock wet,
..if elixir it's only cuz the powder he put in her drink didn't wear off yet..
seen it before
His mother made a mean statement when he was born; "fate sucks
..and I'm only willing to be his mummify can wrap his ugly face up"..
cool here
Straight up, and bro, you spoke on COM getting evicted but why talk?
..you're not a landlord just cuz you rule your own section of a sidewalk..
naa.. this ain't too fresh man
You talk alot but you're fake, everything you do and say is a scam,
..and bitch, if you ever shoguns they're most definitly made in Japan..
okay
Dawg, why'd you try hiding Impasse? you're whack for blowin smoke,
..he's your sidekick and you duo him a handjob for his last Token vote..
naa i didn't like this
Why so cocky? you're the only one who thinks your drops are ascending,
..if you don't start to actor spit like a vet I'll give you props for pretending..
nice
You thought your last verse was lively but it was really awful and dead,
..it never bloomy away, now COM's sendin flowers to your hospital bed..
nice
You try your best every time but you're not improvin shit mate,
..so stop reaching for the stars....you'll be there soon at this rate..
played
I'm so fuckin sick of reading your weak shit man, every line is worthless,
..and you're a supermod now....so please pull a Dios and hide your verses..
lmaoo dope
Every line I just wrote was a fact, I'm known for spittin the truth,
..this battle was Punch-Token....which is what everyone is itchin to do..
cool
Now you have a choice, either stay while the league debates your skill,
..or your other option would believe LLL....and we all have faith you will..
naa didnt like it
You might respect me more when you get up from the floor dude,
..but I won't be shakin your hand....the seizure already did it for you..
a little corny[/font]
v/token.. his wording won him this. idk barcotic, it feels like i'm reading the same stuff over and over in your verses because you don't really switch up your execution or wording.. each time the wordplay is just blunt and in your face it feels a little like you're trying to hard. you had some nice shit tho. as for token, you had quite a few played bars in the middle of your verse but overall it was definitely a nice verse. it was more consistent and had more likeable lines.
LOL
everyone agrees ur just a clown, a joke of the league headin' for pavement
cuz i think its funny how I could drop a Punch using nothing but statements
^solid, simple but effective
fuckin pussy, made it the top for nothin, cuz im blazin up vile
tryna snatch the belt? this bitch'll just stay untitled like never savin' a file
^ok
quit kissing my ass dude, ur a faggot of weak stout
& when I say Bar overrides me in LLL, it ain't cuz he's the mod of the league now
^cool
i gotta bad temper, & this faggot fuck could never be fire
shit, watch me smash a fuckin' punch through the wall with no knuckles required
^alright
ur verses are fuckin earsores, i ain't even seen concepts that old
in fact, everytime itune into your shit I rip Apple's support a new asshole
^liked this one
concept flippin' faggot, you already know i'ma wreck you
shit, if ur scared chrit'll vote against you..
..why not list the rest of league in your check too?
^solid again man
drown your loss in some alcohol, ur a drunk fuck so face it
i'ma spike this Punch so sharp it's guaranteed to leave this fuck wasted
^straight, a few too many fairly straightforward punch nameplays maybe
fuckin virgin, aint no girl on Top his Lap, i'll leave this wack shook for hits
shit I gotta Mack book fulla digits...he relies on a Macbook for chicks
^ehh, not feeling this one. also, capitalising Lap and Top had me looking for the punch and killed the misdirection
see me in a pub or a battle, i'm layin you out, there's no doubt in it
shit, i'll just use Bars tool, & do some flipping..
..then knock you the fuck out with it
^solid execution, just about works, but 'using bars tool' needed more set-up context cos it was a bit wuh?
not a fuckin person here accepts your modship, your retarded to less
so I told the league to bare with me, and this fag started to undress
^nah, seen it before
so much shit i could diss you about, it's obvious your worse than all
it's sad that i can use any lines i've ever written on you as personals
^i loled at this one
u got some FL fans, but all the vets know i'll give him bare hell
shit, I got the whole league doin' the wave.. just to bid him a farewell
^nah, seen it, or at least very similar stuff
nobody wants to listen to a word you speak, in fact ur just one i'll rip again
shit, if Punch ever hits the air.. then it's simply cuz he's missed again
Hmmm, okish, doesn't feel fresh enough
you get ur concepts from other people, you ain't really beast tight
so if i'm dropping a Punch line then you know it's been flipped at least twice
^aiight
ima expose you fucks now.. step aside bar, i'ma deal with a past geek
listen, no matter how much re-wording you do for this wack fuck, I still beat you last week
^wasn't feeling this one
thats right com, your secret's out that you help him hard on text
but I guess it was predicted... that he'll change his name to Barcom next
^straight, not dope r important enough to justify 40000000000000 pages of upset from anyone
all of the clues prove the case, com's ur buddy on some gay shit
bitch how u gon run the league.. we can't even take your verses in moderation
^i haven't seen it actually, kinda surprised. woulda taken it a different direction, but alright
vs
Token ain't a Real man, he's just a wimp that doesn't want drama,
..so I'll distill he cries like a bitch and begs for shots of COM's vodka..
^alright wordplay, not really a strong punch. the com's vodka thing seemed to added on to me, and made it fiddly. ok though
The last time we battled I hardly tried so my shit wasn't even testable,
..but since I now carrots just a matter of time til I turn him to a vegetable..
^hmmmm, ok. i guess i can see the accent that makes carrots work here, so that's fine. the wordplay doesn't work as I would hope though
This weak bitch could never hurt me, he's too damn old and frail,
..watch as the kidneys me and I elbow him so hard his organs fail..
^alright
He says his crib's nice but it's not, he should probably stop boastin,
..shit, I wonder how long it'll beetle he gets rid of the cockroaches..
^nah. and i agree with the sentiments of others here, this has the same set-up as the above punches, with no misdirection. so when you get to the word that doesn't actually make sense in the sentence, you see it's wordplay and it's a bit like 'oh this again'.
He's broke and there's no girl in the world that wants his worthless ass,
..even if he stole afford he wouldn't have enough money to purchase gas..
^same as above, sorry
He's always after the same girl at the club but never gets his cock wet,
..if elixir it's only cuz the powder he put in her drink didn't wear off yet..
^cool w/p, solid here, if still on the same tip as every other bar, which is detracting and distracting.
His mother made a mean statement when he was born; "fate sucks
..and I'm only willing to be his mummify can wrap his ugly face up"..
^better execution, the sentence works here, with the switch occurring mid w/p, which is cool.
Straight up, and bro, you spoke on COM getting evicted but why talk?
..you're not a landlord just cuz you rule your own section of a sidewalk..
^cool here,good execution of the wordplay
You talk alot but you're fake, everything you do and say is a scam,
..and bitch, if you ever shoguns they're most definitly made in Japan..
^i see where you're going, but the last section of the bar isn't punchy, and the wordplay is still a bit clunky. 'if you ever shoguns' doesn't work as a sentence. it needs to really. especially after this many variations on the theme. doing this once or twice is fine, if not the best, but after a while the style becomes predictable because it doesn't employ misdirection. there's no element of surprise.
Dawg, why'd you try hiding Impasse? you're whack for blowin smoke,
..he's your sidekick and you duo him a handjob for his last Token vote..
^i liked the w/p here, even though the execution was still a little imperfect. it didn't bother me so much with this one for some reason.
Why so cocky? you're the only one who thinks your drops are ascending,
..if you don't start to actor spit like a vet I'll give you props for pretending..
^same problem as before, sorry man. ok idea, but i think the w/p is played too.
You thought your last verse was lively but it was really awful and dead,
..it never bloomy away, now COM's sendin flowers to your hospital bed..
^same problem. this could have been made so much smoother by simply changing the set up to a reference to his style rather than his last verse, and setting up the misdirection by referencing something about blooming flowers being somewhere. then change the first part of the punchline to 'it's never bloomy away...', and you have misdirection. it would still be kinda ineffective because i have no idea how to play in 'it's never bloomy away', but it would be a start.
You try your best every time but you're not improvin shit mate,
..so stop reaching for the stars....you'll be there soon at this rate..
^w00t at the change. ok punch, feels like i've seen similar though, but since you flipped the style i'll give the benefit of the doubt
I'm so fuckin sick of reading your weak shit man, every line is worthless,
..and you're a supermod now....so please pull a Dios and hide your verses..
^cool here
Every line I just wrote was a fact, I'm known for spittin the truth,
..this battle was Punch-Token....which is what everyone is itchin to do..
^decent, simple. a bit too simple perhaps. token got the edge here by dropping first and dropping like 29000 of these though
Now you have a choice, either stay while the league debates your skill,
..or your other option would believe LLL....and we all have faith you will..
^i've done believing w/p before. slightly awkward execution again, but alright
You might respect me more when you get up from the floor dude,
..but I won't be shakin your hand....the seizure already did it for you..
^ok
I feel like I've been harsh on Barcade here, but I stand by my comments. Barcade when you've dropped w/ps in this style before they've been isolated in a verse, so they are more appreciable. I use w/p heavy verses, but I try to mix it up. I rarely have more than 2 w/p lines in a row and if i do then they are structurally very different. here you used about 20 lines in a row of wordplay, and most of them involved syntactically incorrect sentences. when these are on their own, they can be solid, but w/p is always better if it works both ways. for example, you mummify bar worked because up to the 'mum' syllable it all made sense. then the 'ify' flips it and effectively starts a new sentence. it works both ways, going into the bar and then out of it. 'Even if I stole afford' doesn't make sense as a sentence, and the bar is hurt as a result, even more so because similar things were being done in the preceding bars. Token's Itune w/p is a little sketchy in this regard, but just about makes sense, and was helped by it's isolation in the verse. You 'oaklands' bar a couple weeks ago was perfect w/p. your one from a few weeks back about 'steeler virginity' (i think it was you) didn't work both ways, but seemed less predictable because it was isolated in the verse. I enjoyed this less than most of your recent verses, simply because of the repetition. I LOVE wordplay, but there are many ways of executing wordplay, and you only used one here. and i don't understand why you put all of your non-w/p bars at the end. mix it up as best you can, always.
You're a good, creative battler, no doubt. but this week should just be a lesson or whatever. you switched your style up a bit and did it ineffectively imo, but hopefully it just means your verses will be stronger in future.
token had a nice verse here. the punch nameplays got a little repetitive cos they always played off the single word itself, but were all fairly solid and fresh cos of the new name. the verse was hyper consistent, so big props on that. I didn't looove every line, and I felt you fell off a little at the end, but this was a good showing no doubt, and you got this by a fair old distance.
V/Token
And everyone STOP BITCHING
Last edited by phlymo; April 1st, 2009 at 08:29 PM
fuckin pussy, made it the top for nothin, cuz im blazin up vile
tryna snatch the belt? this bitch'll just stay untitled like never savin' a file
quit kissing my ass dude, ur a faggot of weak stout
& when I say Bar overrides me in LLL, it ain't cuz he's the mod of the league now
i gotta bad temper, & this faggot fuck could never be fire
shit, watch me smash a fuckin' punch through the wall with no knuckles required
concept flippin' faggot, you already know i'ma wreck you
shit, if ur scared chrit'll vote against you..
..why not list the rest of league in your check too?
u got some FL fans, but all the vets know i'll give him bare hell
shit, I got the whole league doin' the wave.. just to bid him a farewell
nobody wants to listen to a word you speak, in fact ur just one i'll rip again
shit, if Punch ever hits the air.. then it's simply cuz he's missed again
you get ur concepts from other people, you ain't really beast tight
so if i'm dropping a Punch line then you know it's been flipped at least twice
thats right com, your secret's out that you help him hard on text
but I guess it was predicted... that he'll change his name to Barcom next
lmao. like i said earlier in the chat thread, harsh ass verse. seemed very fresh and crisply worded throughout. afew punches i feel could have been worded better but overal nice ass verse. i like the untitled punch, override punch, and Barcom punch the best. solid showing
vs
Token ain't a Real man, he's just a wimp that doesn't want drama,
..so I'll distill he cries like a bitch and begs for shots of COM's vodka
He's always after the same girl at the club but never gets his cock wet,
..if elixir it's only cuz the powder he put in her drink didn't wear off yet..
His mother made a mean statement when he was born; "fate sucks
..and I'm only willing to be his mummify can wrap his ugly face up"..
You try your best every time but you're not improvin shit mate,
..so stop reaching for the stars....you'll be there soon at this rate..
Every line I just wrote was a fact, I'm known for spittin the truth,
..this battle was Punch-Token....which is what everyone is itchin to do..
Not a bad showing at all from you. A pretty good verse overal, but alot of fuckin wordplays here. afew fresh wordplays squeezed in i neva seen, and alot of wordplays that were used wrong. but like i said, overal good verse.
v/ Token in a good match. but pretty clear imo.
everyone agrees ur just a clown, a joke of the league headin' for pavement
cuz i think its funny how I could drop a Punch using nothing but statements
decent hit, I like it. maybe could'a been harsher.
fuckin pussy, made it the top for nothin, cuz im blazin up vile
tryna snatch the belt? this bitch'll just stay untitled like never savin' a file
weeeeak.
quit kissing my ass dude, ur a faggot of weak stout
& when I say Bar overrides me in LLL, it ain't cuz he's the mod of the league now
lmfao...
i gotta bad temper, & this faggot fuck could never be fire
shit, watch me smash a fuckin' punch through the wall with no knuckles required
wow nice.
ur verses are fuckin earsores, i ain't even seen concepts that old
in fact, everytime itune into your shit I rip Apple's support a new asshole
seen this before..
concept flippin' faggot, you already know i'ma wreck you
shit, if ur scared chrit'll vote against you..
..why not list the rest of league in your check too?
decent flip
drown your loss in some alcohol, ur a drunk fuck so face it
i'ma spike this Punch so sharp it's guaranteed to leave this fuck wasted
decent, wording could'a been better imo.
fuckin virgin, aint no girl on Top his Lap, i'll leave this wack shook for hits
shit I gotta Mack book fulla digits...he relies on a Macbook for chicks
nice
see me in a pub or a battle, i'm layin you out, there's no doubt in it
shit, i'll just use Bars tool, & do some flipping..
..then knock you the fuck out with it
nah, didn't like it.
not a fuckin person here accepts your modship, your retarded to less
so I told the league to bare with me, and this fag started to undress
hehe.. coo even tho I've seen/used bare with me concepts.
so much shit i could diss you about, it's obvious your worse than all
it's sad that i can use any lines i've ever written on you as personals
statement.. not as harsh as it could've been.
u got some FL fans, but all the vets know i'll give him bare hell
shit, I got the whole league doin' the wave.. just to bid him a farewell
this was dope never seen that.
nobody wants to listen to a word you speak, in fact ur just one i'll rip again
shit, if Punch ever hits the air.. then it's simply cuz he's missed again
okay, but you're taking all the nameplays damn it! lol.
you get ur concepts from other people, you ain't really beast tight
so if i'm dropping a Punch line then you know it's been flipped at least twice
like it..
ima expose you fucks now.. step aside bar, i'ma deal with a past geek
listen, no matter how much re-wording you do for this wack fuck, I still beat you last week
not diggin it..
thats right com, your secret's out that you help him hard on text
but I guess it was predicted... that he'll change his name to Barcom next
eh, aiight-ish
all of the clues prove the case, com's ur buddy on some gay shit
bitch how u gon run the league.. we can't even take your verses in moderation
nice ending..
vs
Token ain't a Real man, he's just a wimp that doesn't want drama,
..so I'll distill he cries like a bitch and begs for shots of COM's vodka..
okay.. lol
The last time we battled I hardly tried so my shit wasn't even testable,
..but since I now carrots just a matter of time til I turn him to a vegetable..
decent
This weak bitch could never hurt me, he's too damn old and frail,
..watch as the kidneys me and I elbow him so hard his organs fail..
I saw kidney's wordplays when I JOINED rapbattles, and it's worded eh
He says his crib's nice but it's not, he should probably stop boastin,
..shit, I wonder how long it'll beetle he gets rid of the cockroaches..
eh.. not diggin it.. again obvious wordplay.
He's broke and there's no girl in the world that wants his worthless ass,
..even if he stole afford he wouldn't have enough money to purchase gas..
aiight, coo.
He's always after the same girl at the club but never gets his cock wet,
..if elixir it's only cuz the powder he put in her drink didn't wear off yet..
you ruined the surprise of the wordplay by pointing it out..
His mother made a mean statement when he was born; "fate sucks
..and I'm only willing to be his mummify can wrap his ugly face up"..
why would you be his mom? seems like ur forcing shit for the sake of wordplay but okay.
Straight up, and bro, you spoke on COM getting evicted but why talk?
..you're not a landlord just cuz you rule your own section of a sidewalk..
lol, dope.
You talk alot but you're fake, everything you do and say is a scam,
..and bitch, if you ever shoguns they're most definitly made in Japan..
hmm, okay-ish.. not really a hard diss.
Dawg, why'd you try hiding Impasse? you're whack for blowin smoke,
..he's your sidekick and you duo him a handjob for his last Token vote..
aiight coo..
Why so cocky? you're the only one who thinks your drops are ascending,
..if you don't start to actor spit like a vet I'll give you props for pretending..
lol, nice.
You thought your last verse was lively but it was really awful and dead,
..it never bloomy away, now COM's sendin flowers to your hospital bed..
dunno if I liked this, seemed off..
You try your best every time but you're not improvin shit mate,
..so stop reaching for the stars....you'll be there soon at this rate..
lol
I'm so fuckin sick of reading your weak shit man, every line is worthless,
..and you're a supermod now....so please pull a Dios and hide your verses..
eh..
Every line I just wrote was a fact, I'm known for spittin the truth,
..this battle was Punch-Token....which is what everyone is itchin to do..
dope.
Now you have a choice, either stay while the league debates your skill,
..or your other option would believe LLL....and we all have faith you will..
decent..
You might respect me more when you get up from the floor dude,
..but I won't be shakin your hand....the seizure already did it for you..
eh..
pretty dope battle. bar's verse was weaker than I expected it would be but I still got a few laughs out of it. token on the other hand had some funny/really original material in there... liked the majority of his verse.. not a bad match here guys. impressed.
vote Token
i gotta bad temper, & this faggot fuck could never be fire
shit, watch me smash a fuckin' punch through the wall with no knuckles required
concept flippin' faggot, you already know i'ma wreck you
shit, if ur scared chrit'll vote against you..
..why not list the rest of league in your check too?
u got some FL fans, but all the vets know i'll give him bare hell
shit, I got the whole league doin' the wave.. just to bid him a farewell
you get ur concepts from other people, you ain't really beast tight
so if i'm dropping a Punch line then you know it's been flipped at least twice
thats right com, your secret's out that you help him hard on text
but I guess it was predicted... that he'll change his name to Barcom next
vs.
This weak bitch could never hurt me, he's too damn old and frail,
..watch as the kidneys me and I elbow him so hard his organs fail..
He's always after the same girl at the club but never gets his cock wet,
..if elixir it's only cuz the powder he put in her drink didn't wear off yet..
Straight up, and bro, you spoke on COM getting evicted but why talk?
..you're not a landlord just cuz you rule your own section of a sidewalk..
Every line I just wrote was a fact, I'm known for spittin the truth,
..this battle was Punch-Token....which is what everyone is itchin to do..
yea.. like i said before, this is prolly one of the dopest battles i've read in awhile.
token, you beasted this shit man.. i loved the sting you produced.. your verse was constantly makin me mutter responses like 'damn' and 'ohh' under my breath while i was reading them lol. shit was mad dope. bar, man.. you were on point too.. dont get me wrong, but those wordplays killed you here. it was like one after another after another and honestly.. it got kinda old lol. your beginnin ones were dope as fuck.. like the elixir and and kidneys ones, but after that i just felt the rest weren't on the level those 2 opening ones were, so it kinda took away from the effectiveness of the others, ya know what i mean? atleast, thats the feel i got from it. nonetheless, you didnt get completely 'blown away' in this battle, you just came up a lil short, and its mainly because of the constant wordplays.. its kinda like if eth were to of tooken all those punch nameplays and put them one after another.. it'd get so repetitive that the reader is just like 'again?'. instead.. he spaced them out, which is what u should've done man.. well, and also just scratched a few of them and got more personal with ur verse because its pretty obvious that is where eth got ya, in the personals. still, dope fuckin battle. i've been waitin to get around an actual computer with a keyboard to vote on this and give yall my 2 cents, so there ya go.
vote - eth
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