Heartbreak Freestyle

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Thread: Heartbreak Freestyle

  1. #1
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Glory And Honor's Avatar
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    Heartbreak Freestyle

    Broke up over the course of three days,
    the hardest 72 I've ever participated in,
    demonstrated hate in more than three ways,
    I could feel the love fade as she walked away,
    if we could only talk today...
    And it's like I can't feel shit anymore,
    it's like I no longer have a heart, just a core,
    sitting there, cycling blood, and nothing more...
    Logic over emotion, ignore both parts of my conscience,
    because emotion's just a product of consequence,
    everything you do is something that you choose,
    and it comes back, a reaction,
    blaming chance is nonsense....
    All my ills are of my own creation, I admit this,
    I accept that as a fact because I watched my shit get
    destroyed and toyed with, with each decision that I made,
    my teeth are still gritted to this very lonely day...

    This shit's sloppy.
    Last edited by Glory And Honor; May 4th, 2009 at 01:59 AM

  2. #2

    Re: Heartbreak Freestyle

    yes,, i got this one also,, its nice, chinese takeout near me

  3. #3

    Re: Heartbreak Freestyle

    The break hearts were a very good piece of composing. It has proper sound effects with the best matching voice patterns. It was originally composed in the EssayWritingLab in California. This is really a free style for everyone. People have been sharing it on soundcloud as well, but no one can get it now due to the copyright policy. Thanks a lot for sharing such information with others

  4. #4
    Cypher Alumni Sammy's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreak Freestyle

    ^^what the hell?

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  5. #5
    Triangle ⭐️ A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreak Freestyle

    Nah I liked it... step one draft (raw emotion) draft two to theee perfection... just get it out. And it was real...

    - - - Updated - - -

    Especially public... you know?
    ~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~..
    Why does everyone think Iím a boy?

  6. #6

    Re: Heartbreak Freestyle

    you're right, this is sloppy. but it is filled with raw emotion and demonstrates a skill with putting words together. you display a good use of vocabulary and the rhymes are there too. this is chalk full of internal rhymes and a decent use of multis. the imagery is abundant and lets me feel your emotion and heart ache through this ordeal. I see a plethora of potential in your writing here, you display many skills, i just think there is still room to sharpen them. Keep writing.

  7. #7

    Re: Heartbreak Freestyle

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  8. #8

    Re: Heartbreak Freestyle

    There is the new area of the heartbreak which can be more manageable for you. Combine your section with essay have review and get the battles on your screen with the best mode of the fun. See different areas of the ranking with the option present here.

  9. #9

    The field of the heartbreak

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  10. #10

    Re: Heartbreak Freestyle

    amazing post

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  11. #11

    Re: Heartbreak Freestyle

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  12. #12
    Rumble In The Bumble.. B Bumble B's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreak Freestyle

    Broke up over the course of three days,
    the hardest 72 I've ever participated in,
    demonstrated hate in more than three ways,
    I could feel the love fade as she walked away,
    if we could only talk today...

    love this opener.. the rhyme scheme is unique and i really could relate to what you were saying here i think alot of us could actually. lots of emotion man..

    Logic over emotion, ignore both parts of my conscience,
    because emotion's just a product of consequence,

    wow. well put my friend... this bar is pure fire... 6 feet deep deep deep

    Really enjoyed this verse.. Your style and rhyme scheme is very original and fresh. it was an enjoyable read from start to finish. Keep droppin and ill keep looking out for you brotha..

    Check me out if you have some time. peace bro

  13. #13

    Re: Heartbreak Freestyle

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