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Thread: Dark Night of the Soul: The End

  1. #1
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Dark Night of the Soul: The End

    Dark Night of the Soul: The End

    Frothy filth of humanity slowly brewing
    boiling; reaching tipping point
    baptized in fall,
    spring showered corruption;
    an extra sitting taking notes
    if madness were self dialogue
    my soliloquy's proof of insanity's embrace.
    Under my voodoo I roam a silent preacher
    ordained by innocent ideals and principals
    a minister of petty pride; a mere observer
    I look upon the image of God
    an abstract artwork of little value.

    Cliché sliced wrists, phrases of despair
    bleeding mascara and hair gelled with grease;
    tight crimson corset, outpouring flesh
    Madame Domina, what of her subservient?
    Curled toes jammed into ruby stilettos
    Dorothy's a vagabond; ever tapping those heels
    chasing taillights; she made Daddy mad.

    A collection of gaunt men
    and boys with emaciated features;
    their beds just nature's padding
    moss upon the grave of ancestors.
    Ice blood trudging along the veins
    as they stumble, haggard and alone
    alive only through deep concentration;
    glassy eyed street scholars
    speaking with great emphasis;
    poetry drowned in a cheap shot of vodka.

    Faceted hearts, harlequin masks
    unspoken arrangements and crying teens
    dark souls feast on the kindred.
    The world's a drowning ship
    tears ink mutiny, civil unrest
    whilst I stand a mere observer
    watching them trample the very objects
    with which they can plug the holes.

    The potbellied politicians, modern orators;
    subject to the privy eyes of the public
    they hide under a guise; chameleon like
    credits to the performing arts.
    Tuppence used to collect favours
    modern knights, cavaliers to the maidens
    not so fare nor fair but a willing participant
    tempus fugit?
    Rather a budget deficit at an hourly rate.

    Greased palms paid for ignorance
    a turn of the face, raspy voices in dark streets
    corners selling amphetamines;
    news created in studios, in alleyways truth was raped
    court cases thrown aside for mere entertainment
    celebrities perusing the jury
    they see no peers, just ordinary folks
    and the innocent go unrepresented;
    inside I utter, “Bloody murder”.
    Judges caress Lady Justice
    sexual harassment, eyes of a predator
    Lucifer shining upon the herd
    media plugged ears, so his sermons unheard of.
    The cattle trampled his army,
    dined upon his peers for dinner
    and crucified his brother for lunch;
    then wrote a book- no true accountability.

    The boiling pot of all that is human
    skewed- cheap and the froth seeps
    in the crevices of society;
    crooks hide amidst graves of innocents
    skeletal remains all but commonplace
    locks clasped tight, chained armoires
    and the lost float upon the dead
    the mud, shanty towns and potholes
    bitumen long worn down by bare feet.
    Soles blistered; an empty stomach bloated
    intestines, bodily fluids and organs,
    excrement of the poor.

    And as the accumulated sins of the wicked
    tide down upon the ignorant;
    the vulgar gathered, knee-deep in roasted flesh
    the skin off the back of their peers;
    peering above, straining to look for some saviour.
    The bells and screams
    a burning whorehouse;
    it rained blood that day when they asked
    begged “Save us!”
    Clouds formed the face of God
    silently watching; a plague of flies
    and vultures eat the last of their kind.

    Last edited by P. Mortuus; July 18th, 2009 at 10:26 AM

  2. #2
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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  3. #3
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: Dark Night of the Soul: The End

    ...^
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  4. #4
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: Dark Night of the Soul: The End

    ^^^

  5. #5
    Writer Ctrl Alt Elite's Avatar
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    Re: Dark Night of the Soul: The End

    This piece is beautifully written. The vacabulary is spot on and although my approval is hardly flattering to someone as established here as yourself, I think this is one of the best pieces i have seen from you. I have read some of your previous work but i am too new to write any worthwhile feedback. Still not sure what kind of stuff i should be looking for.

    However my fave stanza was;

    "Cliché sliced wrists, phrases of despair
    bleeding mascara and hair gelled with grease;
    tight crimson corset, outpouring flesh
    Madame Domina, what of her subservient?
    Curled toes jammed into ruby stilettos
    Dorothy's a vagabond; ever tapping those heels
    chasing taillights; she made Daddy mad."

    The opening 3 lines were very nicely written and gave a great image.
    I like how this whole piece had a sinister, dark feeling to it.

    Nice job.

    RTF please

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...765/index.html

  6. #6
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: Dark Night of the Soul: The End

    Thanks, I've returned the favour via pm. Yup.
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  7. #7
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: Dark Night of the Soul: The End

    Come on come on...^
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  8. #8
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: Dark Night of the Soul: The End

    Leave links.
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  9. #9
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: Dark Night of the Soul: The End

    yeah it is long, up^
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  10. #10
    God Fist Spoken Deity's Avatar
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    Re: Dark Night of the Soul: The End

    i will hit this later... promise

  11. #11
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: Dark Night of the Soul: The End

    Yooooo
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  12. #12
    God Fist Spoken Deity's Avatar
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    Re: Dark Night of the Soul: The End

    sooo...

    This is long and I feel that it kind of...beat the dead horse a bit...and yet, I dont really get any of it. I pick up pieces of "truth" amongst the imagery, but all in all, I just dont understand it... this isnt bad nowadays for poetry... A lot of it isnt meant to be interpreted... OR its meant to be interpreted how ever the reader wants... Thats post-modernism for you I guess. Anyway, the devices are intelligent, well writen and very original, especially the imagery and metaphor.
    So yeah, I'm not suire how to interpret a lot of this sooo... yeah... good read, but like I said, I dont understand it, lol

  13. #13
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: Dark Night of the Soul: The End

    Lol it's like a dark night of the soul- dark corrupt and depressive. The writer acts as an observer to the darker side of human nature.
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  14. #14
    You've Earned a Custom Title! HellDriven's Avatar
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    Re: Dark Night of the Soul: The End

    This is powerful, The darkness was..pure beauty, Simply amazing and terrific story telling,
    Even though at times I did not understand what it meant, I was still very "Hooked" into this masterpeice, Great read and I personally liked the dark pressence, imagery and emotion inplanted into this work, It was a bit too long but alas Lengthy stories bring deeper thought and understanding, Even though I am not a professional unlike yourself, I still hope to strive to become as merely as great as you,
    Thankyou, For bestowing this powerful work upon my mind.

    www.zachspoems.webs.com
    Last edited by HellDriven; July 25th, 2009 at 12:17 AM

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  15. #15
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: Dark Night of the Soul: The End

    well, thanks.
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

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