The help I would like..

[Phillup Cophens]

.. Is to get better with my concepts, and to make my punches a little more harder hitting. I'm fairly well with set up, but it seems like my punches just dont have quite the impact i'm looking for. Anyone can help, and please if you havent't battled in LLL and been successful, champed FL, 1-2 punch, been contendor, or atleast have a decent rec with heads that are credible then just pass me by please.. I'm looking to get better than you, no disrespect, not stay worse than you better heads. Help please.

[Seyance]

For a start, don't center shit.. it's annoying. Can you show me an example of your work?

[Phillup Cophens]

Ok, no more centering. Just thought it look a lil more structural.

Only thing bright about your future is the flash from the pics you'll take
If the lens dont break, u'll partake in a wake after my violent outbreak
Douche bag, u feeling shitty from the crap you never had, always stag
Cuz ya gear come plaid, n checker flagged, w.ya life inside a duffle bag
No need to downstage u wen u can't even upstage in a high on enrage
Drugs got ya defenses disengaged, and this bitch buggin, so i'll just raid
Whether ice, stone , bronze, dark, or iron age your punches still history
Not a mystery why your punches missin me, cause they're just inquiries

and that was a quick key i did in the diss the bitch above you, cypher.

[The Incredible Hulk]

Only thing bright about your future is the flash from the pics you'll take
If the lens dont break, u'll partake in a wake after my violent outbreak
Last part of the bar,should be a punch,and you talked about yourself
Douche bag, u feeling shitty from the crap you never had, always stag
Cuz ya gear come plaid, n checker flagged, w.ya life inside a duffle bag
you called him a bag twice,also the first and second line didnt link in + you never said why he would end up in a duffle bag
No need to downstage u wen u can't even upstage in a high on enrage
Drugs got ya defenses disengaged, and this bitch buggin, so i'll just raid
this bar was clearly just done to rhyme,it didnt seem to have much thought,+ once again the last thing you talked about was yourself,when it should be a punch @ your opponent
Whether ice, stone , bronze, dark, or iron age your punches still history
Not a mystery why your punches missin me, cause they're just inquiries
this bar didnt rhyme...history? inquiries? you mean to say querys? + the bar was very simple..


Overall you know the basics,but you need to be more creative,and direct your WHOLE verse at your opponent...also learn better concepts.. for instance :

if you were battling 50 cent on here,you can use nameplay/concepts on his name..

50 cent?
change
money
half a dollar
bank

^etc etc...link the persons name in with whatever is relevant... and the punch has more effect..

i hope this helped...

peace

[Jason Voorhees]

Bes advice i can give you is just look at some past battles on how they attacked their opponent and get witty with it.. personals and concepts can help with harder punches.

[Seyance]

Well, hulk just jacked this thread.. but all that and stop trying to rhyme so much in your lines. If your not that skilled at it yet, just stick to the couplet on the end.. because it chops your flow up so much.