here comes the rain

[Spoken Deity]

We are never stuck in the storm;
we are simply parked in it.
As the streams build in the valleys of
our clothes, creating urban waterfalls
that feed the wombs beneath our feet,
there seems to be a deepening peace.
I just love the rain.
I love it when each little shard comes together
and creates a sea of wandering.
Its swells soothing me, wooing me to a place beyond
the conscious. A place beyond the harrowing of distrust.
The crushing darkness is not a psychosis,
but a form of being, if only for a moment.
The storm stops when we realize that our ocean
was just a drop.
And so we chase that storm,
vomiting up our deepest issues while waiting
for the rain to come and wash it away.

[Spoken Deity]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...568/index.html

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...028/index.html

[abiona]

Nice little piece.

Had some poignant lines here. I was especially a fan of this:

The storm stops when we realize that our ocean
was just a drop.

and this:

Its swells soothing me, wooing me to a place beyond
the conscious. A place beyond the harrowing of distrust.

I've always felt like this about water. I love it. It's calming in a sense... not just the rain, but water in general.

I wrote a piece a long time ago about storms and it was similar to the intention of this. The raging storm that brings with it the cleansing properties of water... the sun after the storm, always so bright, etc etc.

Enjoyed this because it made sense to me. It wasn't overly in depth ... wasn't over the top in language or metaphor... but just enough to make the point you were getting at.

[Novac]

I just love the rain.

My favorite line from this. I love these kind of lines, that are generally simple in word choice and very literal in how it is presented but at the same time says so much more than it may appear to at first glance. It's like a word is worth a thousand pictures.

[Spoken Deity]

up....


I'll be hitting about 20 pieces tomorrow and the day after

[Masahiko.]

Such a great little piece. And with a great piece you get simple lines with complex meanings and multiple interpretations. I love poems that utilize this technique. Where the outer shell of the poem can mean something so simple but if you just open your mind a bit you get a deeper tone and meaning. Not much to critique in such a small well put together poem. Always a pleasure to read your work spoke.

My Favorite lines:

...
that feed the wombs beneath our feet,
there seems to be a deepening peace.
I just love the rain.

Its swells soothing me, wooing me to a place beyond
the conscious. A place beyond the harrowing of distrust.
The crushing darkness is not a psychosis,
but a form of being, if only for a moment.