User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: star light star bright.

  1. #1
    catholic schoolgirls rule Sand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Age
    36
    Posts
    2,241
    Battle Record
    27-18

    star light star bright.

    RBTL verse for evolve.
    "shooting stars"




    i spent a shitload of time on this.
    so i hope you like it.



    appeared in an instant no remembrance of before.
    have i died? was i born? tell me what am i here for?
    i explored and decided to take a step but i fell through
    and implored into a world that really only hell knew.

    ....a fallen star....

    wake up! your good for nothing and i am really sick of this.
    you sleep all day you have no job your a piece of shit.
    as a kid you shined bright you were the twinkle in my eye.
    and now its like i wish you werent even born! i wish you die.

    ....

    such harsh words from a woman i call mother.
    i got out of bed stumbling my room was all flustered.
    with clothes and notebooks scattered all about.
    and i could feel the ghost of depression huvering around.
    i began to clean and ran across some photos i hate.
    before my father died. life was nothing but great.
    looking back today i realize that this life is nothing but shit.
    and my happy angels slept on me. so i am tired of it.
    i looked at a picture and studied deep into my fathers eyes.
    and he spoke to me. as if he was telling me to die.
    the words popped into my head like a bloody suicide attempt.
    and deep down death is what i wanted so i stood contempt.
    not to reject but i listened to his words like reopening scars.
    my life is a waste i had it great and now im nothing but a fallen star.
    and ive fallen far. i think of happiness my neck the belt is holdin.
    and at the second i was about to die. but then my door opened.

    and there standing was my father dressed in a akward pale black.
    as if he jumped out of his picture he saw my embarassment stared back.
    he looked emotionless and callous at that his eyes showed nothing.
    and at last i saw the man that for years i was missing also while loving.
    i spoke to him but i knew he wasnt talking back i dropped the belt
    my eyes had spat the tears of yesteryears hell the love was felt.
    i dropped to my knees sobbing begging for my father to take me back.
    to the skies that we once roamed and made speckles in the oceans of black.
    my mom told me i was crazy but i never listened to that so i went for it.
    went with the mad i used to call dad to return me to the skies to sit.
    and shoot often i wouldnt live if it wasnt for going out on a limb so i left with him.

    .........
    back to the skies
    .........


    this was the story of a man named alex mack and the tale of his fall.
    he thought he left to the skies to fly but had imagined it all.
    his life was a mangled mess and insanity raged at his brain.
    no one to blame besides the fake voices of imposterous laughter.
    his mom found him. hung to death. hanging by a belt by his rooms rafter.



    we're all famous in our hearts......dont shoot stars
    follow me on Instagram @updowndaps

  2. #2
    westside!!!!!!
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    San diego
    Age
    40
    Posts
    1,772
    Battle Record
    6-15
    man this shit is sick as hell

    I'm mufuckin mez mufuckin rized right now dawg
    you need to go join my crew, haha

    keep hittin hard like this and your headed for the stars

  3. #3
    catholic schoolgirls rule Sand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Age
    36
    Posts
    2,241
    Battle Record
    27-18
    Stop sleeping on this!
    follow me on Instagram @updowndaps

  4. #4
    AngelicSheShe
    Guest
    I liked it... it was pretty deep. I still think I should have won the tournament that was canceled. So you should take that out of your sig lol. Nice work though .OoNnEe

  5. #5
    count on it Slowhands's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Posts
    4,377
    Battle Record
    38-18
    Awards FL Champion OM HOF 25+ Wins
    Quoteables:

    i began to clean and ran across some photos i hate.
    before my father died. life was nothing but great.
    (nice and i can relate, not with death but livin with 1 parent)
    .
    i looked at a picture and studied deep into my fathers eyes.
    and he spoke to me. as if he was telling me to die.
    (this shits deep, almost scary)
    .
    as if he jumped out of his picture he saw my embarassment stared back.
    (niceness on this one)
    .
    to the skies that we once roamed and made speckles in the oceans of black.
    (again......this is nicely put)
    .
    this was the story of a man named alex mack and the tale of his fall.
    he thought he left to the skies to fly but had imagined it all.
    his life was a mangled mess and insanity raged at his brain.
    no one to blame besides the fake voices of imposterous laughter.
    his mom found him. hung to death. hanging by a belt by his rooms rafter.
    (i like the end cause it flips the whole idea i was thinkin)
    .
    Overall....
    This was nice, at first i was confused about the topic or anything but the more a read the more i got it, and at the end it had me like "ohhhhh ooook i get it now", so it was definitley a change of what ive seen lately. So I give u most props for the way u put the storyline and the originality of it all. You used good flow and presice vocab. Good good shit kid, keep em droppin.......
    .
    .
    Uppin For Sleepers

  6. #6
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    j-ville florida
    Age
    43
    Posts
    5,352
    Battle Record
    7-14
    TIGHT SPIT I WANNA SEE DIFFERENT DIVERSITY............
    AS FOR KNOWLEDGE IM READY IF YOU ARE TO COLLIDE ON ONE
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..

  7. #7
    Administrator
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    8,236
    Battle Record
    3-0
    I am in a huge rush right now, but I told you I'd read this today, so I did. I thought it was really good. You put time into it and it showed. This is one of the better peices of seen on RB. Good job.

    - The End -

  8. #8
    catholic schoolgirls rule Sand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Age
    36
    Posts
    2,241
    Battle Record
    27-18
    uppin......because....
    i like replies...nah mean


    i keep this net shit gangsta!
    follow me on Instagram @updowndaps

Similar Threads

  1. Star Light, Star Bright (Dedication)
    By N.F.M. in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: June 10th, 2011, 03:54 PM
  2. All Star Weekend* All Star Game
    By Shazz™ in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 241
    Last Post: March 8th, 2006, 10:45 AM
  3. The Bright Falling Star
    By SMZ in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: January 10th, 2005, 09:18 PM
  4. ....star-light lagoon....
    By x-signals in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: May 17th, 2003, 11:09 AM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •