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Thread: The War Within (Scytsophrenia)

  1. #1
    Soule
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    The War Within (Scytsophrenia)

    blood's pumping... barely
    keeping a beat only sick men could carry
    leaving; no time to get ready
    busy preparing...
    packing kids -- no bags
    trying to ditch this cheating heart
    two-timing with a virus!!!
    when they kiss, we depart
    a train wreck designed with
    the caring touch of pneumonia
    and crashing eyelids...

    Road blocks in the ventricles,
    blood cell traffic - slowly killing him.
    A viral storm hits the lungs,
    with one hundred white cell casualties.
    There's a war going beneath his flesh,
    and the smoke is gassing his breath.
    So the next time you see our host,
    give him some medicine, tell him to rest.

    neurons firing,
    like those of the 21-gun salute,
    stressors mount the horse
    in which the virus has traveled so far upon,
    only so much a mans body can handle,
    but one musn't forget the mind.
    detrimental to his well being,
    paranoia of death becomes
    apparent, guiding his every move.

    Running its route, satisfaction found in host
    Entering through mouth, traveling down throat
    Bombarding cells, converging with force
    Apoptosis? Of course.
    Explosions with consistence
    Eruptions in an instance
    As the virus replicates with the cells machinery
    Fluid builds,
    And the lungs are filled with it.

    Silenced drum and the lambskin torn,
    no beat just numb and no breath;
    lips bled and the lungs sang 'Hallelujah'.
    Quenching the thirst of air with intoxication
    treacherous friends; they drank upon death
    and the host; well he never did host again.
    Last edited by Soule; April 19th, 2010 at 06:50 PM

  2. #2
    Soule
    Guest

    Re: The War Within (Scytsophrenia)

    In order - Cry, Dagel, Chuck Diesel, Topic and P. Mortuus

  3. #3
    Newbie Buzz_LiGHTY3AR's Avatar
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    Re: The War Within (Scytsophrenia)

    Hm.. Haven't been active in a while... I might as well drop some feed on this piece..

    Well, this.. to say the least was an interesting read.. Awesome use of metaphors here..

    "Road blocks in the ventricles,
    blood cell traffic - slowly killing him."

    Dope.
    As.
    Hell.

    I really have no negative remarks about this..

    And I'd like to say that this line>

    "and the host; well he never did host again."

    <Is quite possibly my favorite of the piece.
    I think it was the irony that made it so.

    Anyway.. Keep up the good work.

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  4. #4
    microcosm spokenoh's Avatar
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    Re: The War Within (Scytsophrenia)

    Well fuck, I had a reply for this but my browser didn't like this poem. I'll fill this in with more nonsense at some point.
    can I kick it?

  5. #5
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    Re: The War Within (Scytsophrenia)

    fealt the emotion you wwere tryna get at, i really like this. good drop cuzzo

  6. #6
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Re: The War Within (Scytsophrenia)

    bump...

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