The Midnight Hour

[Run Rhymez]

The rage fills my body, inside it shall dwell,
For I can’t shake this feeling, that I’m forever in hell

My joy has been plagued; it’s haunting my soul,
It wants to escape, but at what costly toll?

I’m forever a burden, just leave me alone


I look to the east, and I look to the west,
My slumber is awoken by a horrible beast

That beast, he does feast, on souls and on shadow,
Of men, and women, as if they were cattle

His mind is corrupt, his hunger as if famished,
I look to the cities, of which he has damaged

The lives of those, who bravely stood in his path,
I look to the moon, on this midnight hour,
And all I can see is his after-math

He dare not stop, for his mind is racing,
Such a disgusting creature, for even hell he is disgracing

But that monster you see,
Yes, that monster is ME

And now I come, before the midnight hour,
A peasant, a king, whoever – I’ll devour!

For my heart has gone bitter, and my blood becomes cold,
Upon the midnight hour, if I could be so bold

As to ask, what has occurred to form such a creature,
And I answer with east, with every noticeable feature

My heart has been spoiled; my soul is now death,
So I must consume, every being, every flesh

The mountains; they tremble, the sky brings me power
And here I do stand, upon the midnight hour

I poured out my feelings, and now I have none,
I look for answers from the Gods, but now even they run

My path of destruction, has spread through the land,
I’d stop if I could, but the chaos is planned

This chip on my shoulder, cannot be undone,
You’ve ruined me, my love, the devil has won

The beast won’t be broken, the beast won’t be beat
And should you encounter this beast, his eyes you should meet
Look into his soul, child, look into his mind,
And imagine that once, he was thoughtful and kind

But shocked with betrayal, his life is now sour,
So I dare you to creep, at the midnight hour

For this beast you shall wake,
Will make your life a mistake!

So I scurry upstairs, to the darkest of tower,
And with the last of my power,
I salute to the moon, on the midnight hour.

[Run Rhymez]

Uppin for some feedback.

[Topic]

I am not sure how I feel about this. I didnt really enjoy reading it too much but it wasnt bad. I feel like you might have focused too much on rhyming and not enough on the actual story. It was hard to follow what you were trying to convey. For the most part I understood what you were saying but it just seemed lost the whole time.

To start I would limit the spaces between lines so much. Its hard to get into something when you have to stop every two lines. I would also try to tell more of a story rather than repeating the same emotion over and over. I am not saying this was bad, I just feel like you need to change a few things for a better poem.