conforming
to
fill
the
holes
dug
deep
in
shallow
souls
dont
linger
in
those
dark,
sadistic
hearts
so
maybe
you
find
a
hole
you
dig.
conforming
to
fill
the
holes
dug
deep
in
shallow
souls
dont
linger
in
those
dark,
sadistic
hearts
so
maybe
you
find
a
hole
you
dig.
Last edited by Martyr-; May 17th, 2010 at 04:12 PM
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Tommorow is a slave to yesterday.
links will go here.
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Tommorow is a slave to yesterday.
I'll be honest, I don't really dig the one-word lines.
I like the opening, but I really don't understand what you're trying to say. The ending doesn't really tie anything together, nor does it really make much sense. I think I get what you're going for, but the metaphor seems to conflict with the symbols you chose to utilize.
The one word lines make this really hard to read and really hard to follow. I think you could have writtent his as a paragraph or in different poetry form, and it would have conveyed a much better story than the one word. Nice story though
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the theory of cause and effect is flawed,
we expect the outcome to mirror the struggle, that's wrong.
rofl @ the title but imo i didn't expect this im not a fan of one word poetry through out the whole piece.. i dunno maybe its what you feel is right. but its kinda hard to follow its hard on the eyes lol.. but next time try a different method.
OKC
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