wood wheel

[W!ll Tha K!d]

Puttin this down for some fun a quickee let the hate begin and the feedback start cookin

my diss sting like a bitch slap
i forgot you was used to that
change my style from short to some range
all you got was a sex change
lobbed off your dick
and i didnt even have to work for it
just spit some mean flow
then the blood ran for the door
my hyptonic rhymes called it back
i continued my crime by commensin a jack
digged through tha kids pockets
took his phone i would have proof but i tripped and lost it
i pissed on your parade like a lemonade sale
this was half diss half a dark tale
BRING BACK Supree city
that nigga did work lyricaly
he let the haters get at him
now all we have is some old posts and memory...

[Reno R. Supreme]

eh.......this was ok

but its a keystyle.......

flow was pretty basic..........vocab needs uppe......work on mutiple syllable rhyming....use metaphors and shit......but keep droppin

[W!ll Tha K!d]

thanx

[Akt The Menace]

my diss sting like a bitch slap
i forgot you was used to that
good opener but there needs to be some kind of flip to it
change my style from short to some range
all you got was a sex change
nah too simple, could be like "my styles changed, from short to some range, you went with teh opposite, got a sex change" and idk if thats even good, but just throw some witty shit in there
lobbed off your dick
and i didnt even have to work for it
doesnt rhyme so eh
just spit some mean flow
then the blood ran for the door
nah
my hyptonic rhymes called it back
i continued my crime by commensin a jack
i dont really like this
digged through tha kids pockets
took his phone i would have proof but i tripped and lost it
too simple
i pissed on your parade like a lemonade sale
this was half diss half a dark tale
also very simple
BRING BACK Supree city
that nigga did work lyricaly
he let the haters get at him
now all we have is some old posts and memory...
not a bad bar overall

overall
well in one of your OM's i read it and the structure is way long and then this one is way short, i think that you need to be more complex, but you have to be more complex with stuff that has meaning, like the supree city bar, although it was about supreecity, it actually had a meaning to it, not just fillers strewn together to rhyme. keep elevating you'll get it

[W!ll Tha K!d]

thanx dog