the leaf in a stream

[Jon]

the leaf in a stream

growing up
hanging out
in a no-man's land,
where tree's bark.
encouraging breeze's
whisper enough
to wake up the sun -
morning has come,
wiping away
trouble's and rain,
the dew still remains.
age hobble's along
frail in pace,
& when he falls -
all will drop,
a ton of bricks.
seasoned to perfection,
gliding, no destination
just a good will
unclothed & saturated
with hope.
on we sail,
wherever destiny takes us.
don't resist when you arrive,
jump on in,
the water is nice!
& go with the flow,
rain, sleet, or snow.
when the wind blows,
and the stream awaits;
jump on in,
the water is nice...
I am a leaf in a stream,
going with the flow.

[Extinctor Draconis]

you muthafucka! you love writing about trees! first a poem about a wet bird, now some leaves! lol. I am ambivalent about this poem: some sections were great, but others don't seem to be up to standard of what you write. The breeze's whisper to wake up the sun was a great visual. I don't know, I just found it hard to connect to, perhaps because I've been so far away from poetry lately. Parts just felt cliche in wording like the jump in the water is fine line. I wouldn't say this was okay, but it wasn't as good as a wet bird.

[ItoldUIwasFat]

this was very interesting poetry here.. i gotta say the begining of this just jumped out to me ..the word choices and flow of each line to the next was just nicely done my freind. i absolutely love the way you ended your first sentence in this..the bark line was especially nice.

the beginning of this was outstanding seemed to fall of though towards the middle but you picked it up very well at th end i love your last line it was very well written and it reminded me your beginning which i thought was the best part of your piece..

good drop

[Jon]

Thanks guys.

[Jon]

uppin

[Jukon]

My homie homie what what. Anyway, this was solid bro. Nice imagery, and your word choices were impeccable. The flow was smooth, made the piece easy to read, and there were no hiccups or anything. No complaints here man.

[Jon]

Thanks Kon, getting to feed in early morning..