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Thread: Battling Elevation

  1. #31
    wyrdsmyth Karaoshi's Avatar
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    Re: Battling Elevation

    Quote Originally Posted by Wordz AhGod. View Post
    send me your best verse via PM.. I'll rewrite it and steal your ideas
    lol but in all seriousness tho, I'm not really a texthead but most of the comments on my 1-2 last week was bad wording. I always rewrite my concepts so the setup ties into the actual punch, so how do I word shit better than that??

    PS that architect track is nice

  2. #32
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    Re: Battling Elevation

    anybody else with good examples of punches? or elevation tips

  3. #33
    AJ The Menace Echelon's Avatar
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    Re: Battling Elevation

    Yeah give me some tips, pros

  4. #34
    Kami no kotoba. Wordz AhGod.'s Avatar
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    Re: Battling Elevation

    Quote Originally Posted by Soul_Purpose View Post
    lol but in all seriousness tho, I'm not really a texthead but most of the comments on my 1-2 last week was bad wording. I always rewrite my concepts so the setup ties into the actual punch, so how do I word shit better than that??

    PS that architect track is nice
    Quote Originally Posted by soul purpose
    We all know what small shoes means n ur bitch rather get the D from a real man
    So while I'm slippin dick into Madden Girl... he's slipping feet into that brand
    for this I will put your bar side by side with an experienced battler, in this case Ill nik a used the madden nameplay in LLL just the week before so it works perfectly to help you see what the differences are in the wording and how he targeted this concept.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ill Nik A
    u’re wording will never ever hit, I’ll get u angry with a better clever diss
    I’m not just here to push ur buttons… I been killin madn since Sega Genesis
    first thing you notice, he started his setup punch with good multies that set the flow to his bar. It wasn't anything that stood out as crazy but it helped the transition into his second line by making it run smoothly, he probably didn't even take more then a few seconds to think of it so it feels more natural when you read it out laud. his second line used a cliche' line in, "pushing your buttons".. its a common phrase that he went for the flip on, there are a lot of ways that he could flip a phrase (the first way you find usually isn't the best because it may mean that its played, rewrite it multiple times till it feels as clever as possible). He finishes the thought with Ive been killing madn since sega genesis. In this case wording makes a difference, he didn't use "madden" as he knows that using his real name would make this read more personal. His approach was to use a cliché line with misdirection and a good simple flow that will appeal to most voters.

    notes to take from this,

    1.) take the off route, assume everything you are writing may have been done before and think of fresh ways to do them.
    2.) think like a battler, not a writer.. is this punch that you are writing really tarring this kid down? why not? is the wording too soft, does it feel like it could misinterpreted as me complimenting him, could it be harsher by adding some name calling?
    3.) How do you transition a line into the next line best, when is it ok NOT to have the setup line support the execution line?
    4.) If I read a line out laud, does the wording feel stretched out or not long enough, are the syllable counts close or can I get away with slightly going away from the count for this punch.
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  5. #35
    I'll have the gabagool Fresh's Avatar
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    Re: Battling Elevation

    Forgot to mention he was battling madnkrazy

  6. #36
    Kami no kotoba. Wordz AhGod.'s Avatar
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    Re: Battling Elevation

    Quote Originally Posted by Wine-O View Post
    anybody else with good examples of punches? or elevation tips
    join the 1-2 and be active in the cypher, I see guys in there who are actually getting better each week.. every time some one replies to you, you get the sense that you have to top that guy, cyphers are the best way to elevate and compare yourself to the competition.
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  7. #37
    Kami no kotoba. Wordz AhGod.'s Avatar
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    Re: Battling Elevation

    Quote Originally Posted by AJ the Menace View Post
    Yeah give me some tips, pros
    post a bar that you think is one of your best. (not a whole verse).
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  8. #38
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    Re: Battling Elevation

    You've been on a hiatus - but you didn't return that nice!
    So when I'm rhyming with flare - I'll put 'Wine In The Air' like First Class Flights!


    just an example

  9. #39
    I'll have the gabagool Fresh's Avatar
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    Re: Battling Elevation

    Quote Originally Posted by AJ the Menace View Post
    You've been on a hiatus - but you didn't return that nice!
    So when I'm rhyming with flare - I'll put 'Wine In The Air' like First Class Flights!


    just an example
    I don't get the wine in the air/first class fights tbh

  10. #40
    AJ The Menace Echelon's Avatar
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    Re: Battling Elevation

    Quote Originally Posted by fresh View Post
    I don't get the wine in the air/first class fights tbh
    Lol, you never heard I'll put ______ In the air before?

    It basically means you're gonna kill him or some shit lol.

    So yeah, I'll put wine in the air/ first class flights

    idk i thought it was cool

  11. #41
    I'll have the gabagool Fresh's Avatar
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    Re: Battling Elevation

    Quote Originally Posted by AJ the Menace View Post
    Lol, you never heard I'll put ______ In the air before?

    It basically means you're gonna kill him or some shit lol.

    So yeah, I'll put wine in the air/ first class flights

    idk i thought it was cool
    lmao I thought maybe it was a rick flair signature move or someshit. I mean that flare seems like its there for a reason, but I guess its not lool

  12. #42
    Obnoxious Amen's Avatar
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    Re: Battling Elevation

    You've been on a hiatus - but you didn't return that nice!
    So when I'm rhyming with flare - I'll put 'Wine In The Air' like First Class Flights!


    Decent flow. but if you're going to utilize and structure your bars in that format be careful w/ your syllables. Always make sure they match.

    ABBA schemes aren't too popular, here for the most part. Everyone tends to just stick with the easier scheme, AAAA.

  13. #43
    Kami no kotoba. Wordz AhGod.'s Avatar
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    Re: Battling Elevation

    Quote Originally Posted by AJ the Menace View Post
    Lol, you never heard I'll put ______ In the air before?

    It basically means you're gonna kill him or some shit lol.

    So yeah, I'll put wine in the air/ first class flights

    idk i thought it was cool
    Fresh is stupid.. I got it.. it wasn't worded harshly enough tho.
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  14. #44
    Young Simba
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    Re: Battling Elevation

    Quote Originally Posted by Amen View Post
    You've been on a hiatus - but you didn't return that nice!
    So when I'm rhyming with flare - I'll put 'Wine In The Air' like First Class Flights!


    Decent flow. but if you're going to utilize and structure your bars in that format be careful w/ your syllables. Always make sure they match.

    ABBA schemes aren't too popular, here for the most part. Everyone tends to just stick with the easier scheme, AAAA.
    I sometimes try to incorporate ABBA into my VBL verses but not text.

  15. #45
    Obnoxious Amen's Avatar
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    Re: Battling Elevation

    Quote Originally Posted by Letterman View Post
    I sometimes try to incorporate ABBA into my VBL verses but not text.
    a lot of live battlers use that scheme. it's dope for audio but text for the most part it's all filler.

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