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Thread: An Open Letter to Physicists

  1. #1
    steel cut oatmeal's Avatar
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    An Open Letter to Physicists

    To Whom it May Dismiss,

    I hear the universe exists - inside of proofs and formulas
    as numerical reflections deciphered through your corneas
    meaning the expanses I've traveled and tragically sworn to love
    are simply masks in the attic mathematically boarded shut
    but too much has been invested to accept this rigid receipt
    that each breath in its essence is just a set of digits repeating
    every second stripped of its meaning, retreating to logic's ordered peak
    though the edge of the cliff is appealing, please...look before you leap

    To Whom it May Discredit,

    I presume it's unsafe to edit an established axiom,
    and answer to the annals you'd have to retract it from
    you'll face a marathon of laughter when you suggest to subtract a sum
    but perhaps another answer would advantage the path they run
    for example: PE=mgh is one that's proved with ease;
    if you stand tall, you should become what you believe
    which makes sense, but the secret that is wonderful to see
    is that potential increases when you're humbled to your knees
    nothin' you achieve's simple as arithmetic progress
    besides, reaching potential tends to be a kinetic process
    this systemic logic is a palatable scheme
    but now you see not every formula's infallible as it seems

    To Whom it May Enrage,

    The truth will stain this page, engraving its signature
    and make you rearrange the names for what you label as miniature
    your preconceptions and intuitions may be wading within the dirt,
    for every trait of nature you couldn't contain in an integer
    like f=ma is a linear way to state what massive acceleration delivers-
    but some of the most persuasive statements came in shades of a whisper
    the truth can raise or fade away like the banks of a river
    needless to say that either way it makes a painful elixir

    To Whom it May Concern,

    It can be a foolish way to learn, to walk the edge of unusual
    but this message is suitable...
    numbers and letters'll never capture the essence of beautiful
    though curiosity compels you to discover how it truly works
    I beg you - don't ruin the wonders of the universe
    like y=x^2, a fact that so accurately maps gravity, it's brilliant
    but not everything falls down - look at humanity's resilience
    knowledge without perspective is a threat we can't afford to keep
    so remember...look in every direction before you leap

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  2. #2
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    Re: An Open Letter to Physicists

    " knowledge without perspective is a threat we can't afford to keep
    so remember...look in every direction before you leap " wow love that . Yur flow on point yur vocab on point keep it up

  3. #3
    Profanity ArcherPriest's Avatar
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    Re: An Open Letter to Physicists

    im really feelin the smooth delivery of ur pieces.. the way you tie your internals in flows effortless and always fall in the right spots, very well calculated.. only critique i have is that it becomes predictable 'n makes the content less interesting after awhile..thats why i liked how in the second line of the to whom it may concern section you switched that format up some, it broke the monotony, ya feel? you have excellent wording in all your lines 'n by mixing up the schemes some it not only keeps the reader guessing but makes certain lines or concepts jump out when they catch you off guard, rather than just knowing how its gonna sound before you even say it..nahmean? nonetheless, solid shit holmes, everything ive read from you has the same consistant quality.. ur a skilled writer, props on this 'n all you do

  4. #4

    Re: An Open Letter to Physicists

    Smart vocabulary and theme, really feeling this one
    I like how you'd incorporate equations in your verses, so entertaining.
    Flows out smoothly and is quite interesting to read, smooth lyricism
    Props bruv much love
    Hit mine up maybe?
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...var=&p=8232236

  5. #5
    steel cut oatmeal's Avatar
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  6. #6
     Murder The Mainstream Nohbody's Avatar
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    Re: An Open Letter to Physicists

    Sorry im just getting around to returning feedback . . I honestly just got lazy lol . .

    But anywho, I first want to say i like how the structure of the verses are set up. Aesthetically pleasing to me as a reader, cudos

    Quote Originally Posted by oatmeal View Post
    To Whom it May Dismiss,

    I hear the universe exists - inside of proofs and formulas
    as numerical reflections deciphered through your corneas
    meaning the expanses I've traveled and tragically sworn to love
    are simply masks in the attic mathematically boarded shut
    but too much has been invested to accept this rigid receipt
    that each breath in its essence is just a set of digits repeating
    every second stripped of its meaning, retreating to logic's ordered peak
    though the edge of the cliff is appealing, please...look before you leap
    My favorite part of this verse was the very end. .
    I love the set up "retreating to logics ordered peak" then a dope ass closer 'look before you leap'. Really got me involved, and im looking forward to see where the other verses will take me. . . good shit man

    To Whom it May Discredit,

    I presume it's unsafe to edit an established axiom,
    and answer to the annals you'd have to retract it from
    you'll face a marathon of laughter when you suggest to subtract a sum
    but perhaps another answer would advantage the path they run
    for example: PE=mgh is one that's proved with ease;
    if you stand tall, you should become what you believe
    which makes sense, but the secret that is wonderful to see
    is that potential increases when you're humbled to your knees
    nothin' you achieve's simple as arithmetic progress
    besides, reaching potential tends to be a kinetic process
    this systemic logic is a palatable scheme
    but now you see not every formula's infallible as it seems
    you know, this really reminds me of like, a Cannibal OX type joint. . dope shit, I like you are taking the evolution of life and explaining it in scientific fundamentals. . pretty dope my dude

    To Whom it May Enrage,

    The truth will stain this page, engraving its signature
    and make you rearrange the names for what you label as miniature
    your preconceptions and intuitions may be wading within the dirt,
    for every trait of nature you couldn't contain in an integer
    like f=ma is a linear way to state what massive acceleration delivers-
    but some of the most persuasive statements came in shades of a whisper
    the truth can raise or fade away like the banks of a river
    needless to say that either way it makes a painful elixir
    and again, felt the same lyrical presence and symbolism as the second verse. . this is creative shit my man

    To Whom it May Concern,

    It can be a foolish way to learn, to walk the edge of unusual
    but this message is suitable...
    numbers and letters'll never capture the essence of beautiful
    though curiosity compels you to discover how it truly works
    I beg you - don't ruin the wonders of the universe
    like y=x^2, a fact that so accurately maps gravity, it's brilliant
    but not everything falls down - look at humanity's resilience
    knowledge without perspective is a threat we can't afford to keep
    so remember...look in every direction before you leap
    again, strong assonance, great wordplay and stayed true to the topic all the way to the end. This was dope man

    I read through it twice looking for flaws, and i honestly don't see anything you could have changed to make this any better. . . Im glad there are a few of us here that goes outside that box and takes risks with their work. Like fuck it. . come up with a dope concept, put your own touch on it and just throw it out there to see what people get from it. . Thats what makes writers like your self memorable, and i certainly appreciate these types of pieces

    If you ever wanna collab on something, just hit me up man. .

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  7. #7
    The Bosnian Bos's Avatar
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    Re: An Open Letter to Physicists

    really nice, i really enjoyed it. it was good and lyrical and it made sense. keep it up cause youre really awesome

  8. #8
    steel cut oatmeal's Avatar
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    Re: An Open Letter to Physicists

    appreciate the feed, Kayge (and to a lesser extent Bosnian)

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  9. #9
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    Re: An Open Letter to Physicists

    enjoyed the general smooth tone of this whole piece, things flowed really nicely and even though some of your multi's were off it didn't take away from the flow at all. some real nice content to your schemes too, never forced at all.

    though curiosity compels you to discover how it truly works
    I beg you - don't ruin the wonders of the universe
    like y=x^2, a fact that so accurately maps gravity, it's brilliant
    but not everything falls down - look at humanity's resilience
    knowledge without perspective is a threat we can't afford to keep
    so remember...look in every direction before you leap


    that was my favourite little part, i've noticed a couple nice pieces by you now.. definitely someone i'll look forward to reading in the future.
    I'm so fly, they sent for a swat team to stop me.

    HenceForward.


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