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Thread: Wail

  1. #1
      Swag's Avatar
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    Wail

    I’ve seen most of my own weaken by power, creating dead fetuses, infantry annihilating immgrants' infantcy

    Working for nothing and nothing works, chained on a short leash looking at an empty plate to eat, Satan’s white face covers black eyes while colored skin cries

    intellectual Hispanics sacrifice language, burying artifacts to break barriers,

    Trying fists raised by handless arms, generating no potential force,

    injecting anesthetics into education, liberated liberals lie, lonely Latins listen, hearts pump mildew down sewages, meaningful minds make meaningless money, leeches full from sucking the currency out of foreigners, diseasing innocence

    policing poverty, politicians racing for racism, raping aliens that hover between Rio Grande on ufos, spaceships, slavery still exists, traveling into historical genocide, border patrol ending beginning lives, building prisons inside caged societies, America’s pastime never passed, garbage ransacking cities,   

    monotheistic institutions blockading thoughts, bearded fellow promises seconding coming, ejaculating false prophecies on the chest of young ones with his crucifixed-shaped penis,

    New American soil rooted by Latin sweat,  dire wolves dye their fur white for majority satisfy, melting into a pot of feces

    Who will survive America? white-chalked-outlined bodies.
    Step yo dick up.

  2. #2
      Swag's Avatar
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    Re: Wail

    Self-inflicting
    Step yo dick up.

  3. #3
    The Storyteller Voyce Box's Avatar
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    Re: Wail

    i liked a few things here and there when it came to this piece.. mostly the way you worded a few lines.. the metaphors.. "injecting anesthetics into education" and a few other lines.. i didn't like the flow to it though. it seemed really hard to catch in most spots. it was just all over the place. no offense. improve that.. other than that, i see a lot of creative potential here. keep writing.

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