Last edited by Pair-A-Dyce; April 14th, 2014 at 07:53 PM
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Leave me alone
You have some good tracks. It had my girl moving.
great song. reminded me of some of eminems earlier stuff from early 2000's. On point. I like the vibe of the song. Chorus was dope and on point. Lyrics delivery evertyhing is on point, but I prefer a much stronger topic/content. Besides that, good feel & vibe. Keep it up fam.
Follow Me
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Personally. I think you should run your singing takes a couple more times. Verses were cool. Digging those.
The singing was growing on me by the end of it, Actually. I think its just the was you saying ph-owe to whyme with the ga-owe. Could have been smoothed out.
other than that. I have no complaints with this. Emotion was there. Could always be upped i guess. But you pulled off the song all good.
Links mo focker links.
MoistPuss'Smoother than smooth
You know. You know. Cause when you know, you know. You Know.
The mind without a brain\i/
Just so you know @it's Moist all the tracks I've post since I've come back are a year or two old from my last project. I'm just posting them cause I'm dope like that.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Leave me alone
lol at your singing dyce.
lyrics seem pretty dope they fit the track well. flow was good, i dunno the delivery was good, but i kinda felt like it coulda been better i guess i was looking for more energy from your voice. overall a good track, seemed fun, do you do anything not fun?
I believe i'm making some good music, please just wait for me
[sc]https://soundcloud.com/hood-society/what-you-fear-featuring-a-cas[/sc]
@brot her Blue Collar I have plenty of non fun tracks. I posted Gotta Give Up but I have one more I haven't posted yet. Upon your request I will drop it off here on rb.
Stupid mentions don't work for nothing I swear its GOW fault
Last edited by Pair-A-Dyce; April 23rd, 2014 at 08:26 AM
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Leave me alone
this is fresh bruh... you still sound like a malnourished nematode though lol
AlieNation
..GrindHouse..
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
we see you Cock-A-Roaches looking...
Coming Soon
This is solid. It's nice lil chill song.
this is some good vibe type stuff. Nothing serious and lyric heave but still good for what It is and the direction you took
I'm still the flyest nematode thoughOriginally Posted by Brandon Heat
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Leave me alone
Aight fam. let’s get into it…
The song/beat, in the very beginning, starts off, well… simple, so to speak, which makes it hard for me to predict whether or not I’mma be feelin’ it or not--I was kind of still trying to decide whether or not I was feelin’ the beat when the cut came in...which was a nice touch, caught my ears’ attention… and then BOOM the beat drop back in and my head starts noddin’ to the groove wit the first word of the hook… “Yeaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” haha. So at this point, I’m feelin’ the beat alot… and when you come in on the hook it only adds to how I’m feelin’ bout the beat.
The very first word you spoke on the track, and everyone that follows, made me much more comfortable listening to this. Yes, because your ridin the hook nicely, but to be honest I was most pleased with just the overall sound quality of your vocals right out the gate. I knew I wasn’t going to have to strain to really listen to this track, to what was being said and all that good stuff, so I was able to actually chill back and jam to it, vybe to it, whereas more often than not unfortunately the quality on a lot of dudes tracks is like either flat, or worse...which immediately separates me from how the song is ideally supposed to be received by the listener.
Essentially, instead of just jammin to the track like I would to most any eminem, kendrick, drake song or whatever...I listen to lower quality songs with this subtle, almost subconscious knowledge that no matter how much i may like the beat, get down with what your saying and everything...it’s always going to relate to my mind in the context of “this could be better. with a better mic, better mixing, n all, this could really be worth jammin.”
lol anyway, put simply, your quality is impressive, crisp, and lively over the beat.
the hook’s lyrics:
“yeah, you aint gotta call my phone…
just for me to know you gone..
yeah…
you aint gotta call my phone,
just for me to know you (x2)
gone and you won’t come back, uh-huh
you just gon’ leave like that, oh-ya?
go head get gone like that,
you leave then don’t come back (x2)
-this hook very clearly, and nicely, presents the concept of the track. your vocals on the first section are nice, the slight melody for the first half of the hook fits nicely, and i like how you transitioned into the second part of the hook after the first part of it repeats. not sure if i’m stating this clearly, but what i mean is how you use “gone” as the last word for the first part of the hook and then as the first word in the second part of the hook… that made for a nice feel when u switched from the melody to a more agressive/rap type style.
--and i just had to say, this isn’t a critique or anything, but your vocals on the second half of the hook...man, you sound quite a bit like my boy Kendrick haha. again, not a critique, because it sounds and works nice man...just sayin, if he was influence when u wrote this hook, i caught it.
anyway, getting into verse 1:
right out the gate, it’s obvious you know how to ride a beat, and construct lyrics that have a way of stickin’ in your head.
again, riding the beat very nice.
-quick note: i hate “critiquing” anything about most tracks I like cuz whatever i may think could be different about a track, or be done to ‘improve’ a track are all things that would be changed purley to fit my preference, and my preference most certainly doesn’t stand up against a wider audiences collective preference. Anyway, here’s what I wanted to say:
--you ride it nicely..thing that stuck out immediatly to me was syllables--the simplicity of them in your flow. i don’t know why, but there’s this natural stigma i adopted towards bars with “1 syllable rhymes.” i.e. rhyming ‘dream’ with ‘team,’ ‘scheme,’ and ‘jeans.’ it was catchy, u rode it nicely… my ear’s just tuned to hear a multi-syllable rhyme structure at least most of the time on a track.
getting back to the track…
“tell me the truth now how it feel, that
everything gone you thought was real
everything real you left right here
no, i aint never gonna let you near”
==delivery, flow, and content all dope in that bar. dope way u flipped a typical, usual claim in hip hop/rap...that claim being ‘i’m real’...into somethin new, fresh, and relative to the concept.
ok your next line you pick the heat up with the flow a bit. im much more comfortable even just listening to 2syllable rhymescheme in a flow instead of 1. so flow was hot here, delivery on point--delivery prolly bein the ‘standout’ feature of this track for me--all smooth.
a smooth transition in the flow to eventually lead up to my favorite line so far haha:
“you aint even gotta lie to chill…”
haha i dk, for whatever reason i just feel like that shit came out dope, raw, and funny-clever. hah some type of shiii me and da boys back home would hear on a track, love, and then start using daily in our conversation with females haha. love it
closed out verse 1 nicely...without forcing it, upsetting flow or anything, ending verse 1 with the same line you end the hook with was a nice touch.
--VERSE 2
Ok. awesome… opening verse 2 by upping the flame on that flow. from verse 1’s 1-2sylllable
rhymecheme through, you snap in on verse 2 opening with a 4 syllable flow, and no sacrifice to delivery either.
i’m debating whether or not keepin verse 1 simple like that and then steppin’ up the lyrical heat in verse 2, but naturally and without sacrificing the vybe that’s already been established by your delivery, made for an overall ‘better’ song or not? u know the whole ‘subtle progression’ so the listener continuously likes the track more and more and by the end of the track they can’t believe what just hit em--started ‘here’ and ended ‘THERE,’ but was a damn good ride the whole time.? yeah, anyway… i was trying to decide if i personally feel applying such a structure is best, or if trying to hit em with flame the whole way through, so that the listener grows to like the track better and better, theoretically, with each time they re-listen to the track, catching new, yet flame lyrics/pieces with each play.
let’s just say the way you did it was on poooooint for this track anyway.
flow and lyrics, as mentioned before, on point so far. first few bars real nice. then them lines u switched to the ‘let-you-go’ flow for we fire dude. raw flow, on point wit delivery, content continues to be on topic while expounding on the topic, making it richer, the whole time.
“check and see” flow fiyahhh! delivery, content, etc. all stayin’ raw up through your closing for verse 2.
hooks tight again…
outro’s exactly wut an outro should be.
yeah fam. i fucks wit this. i appreciate you droppin me some feed on my last few tracks man. though ‘shorter, the feed you gave me recently touched on all the aspects that let me know you lent me your ear for real throughout the whole track… so gratitude for that.
Hope this feed ‘helps’ in 1way or another.
i’ll be lookin’ out for more from you... i appreciate you doin the same.
-Wun
K.B.
Last edited by K.B.; June 3rd, 2014 at 12:46 PM
K.B.
Kevin Berglund
Valparaiso, IN
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Will Return all Feed.
cool vibe man. I had a hard time absorbing the singing at points but I'm feeling it. It's a relatable topic and the shit talking as an outro ends the song nicely.
[YOUTUBE]ZUxBQcdecuo[/YOUTUBE]
i was bumping this the other day but didnt drop feed cause i was being lazy. lol. this is fucking dope as shit tho. good beat and you ride it so well. i like the singing on the chorus it really suits the track well. i can definitely feel the approach you took with the concept and the lyrics, cant go wrong there. the mechanics on this track is pretty strong. i have no complaints at all on this joint. good job bro. hit me back...http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...76#post8546776
Last edited by Jawn Raw; June 12th, 2014 at 03:40 PM
Beat-
At the beginning, that broken, detuned, trance synth, was bothering me.. but then the actual song started and I like how you matched your voice with the detuned part, made it a much easier listen for me.
Song-
This one wasnt to my liking as much as the collab you did with nah, but it was still dope. I think your vocab in this one could use some work though, too basic in my opinion especially from what i know you can do from that drop with Nah. But other than that its a hot song for the ladies. tightwork.
Do audio?? Need a beat?? Get at me!
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Posting Rules
Reply With Quote