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Thread: we the sheep beg starving wolves to feast

  1. #1
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    we the sheep beg starving wolves to feast

    bloody tears from angels, shed for fallen soldiers of the star spangled.
    enemies stripped and strangled
    while their seeds collateral damage laying mangled.
    somewhere freedoms image was tangled,
    between gods of the flesh broken halos turn to horns angled.
    the demons behind it predate joseph weinsept,
    scientist form the elite enlightend between scientist.
    bavarian and dutch aerians looking to stronghold a government clutch.
    the idea is political defeat destruction of the weak
    cattle of the meak and corruption of militant police.
    prophecies of the anti christ were fore told by albert pike,
    a master mason who planned... global invasion
    minority erradication... plus a grand memeber of the klan.
    the symbolism in our dna strands ....
    more than the muslim religion is in pakistan.
    look at d.c. where a pentagram patterns the streets,
    masonic cygils shroud the liberals rendering civilians obsolete.
    they funded mk~ulta then eraced the deceased,
    imprisoned shakur falsified evidence to avoid her release,
    praise the alter boy molesting would be messengers of heaven,
    coven of vatican priests and reverands reveard by their corrupt brothrend,
    and when our leaders need re election they catch the people nappen,
    we in a state of emergency why you think 911 happened?
    (911 emegency line)
    how a president have an allegiance to our enemies,
    its greed... the real fuel marking our destiney.
    man made disease..... cancers and HIV,
    shadowed history brain wash the seeds to believe,
    in the end we the slaves who doent realize we slaves make make belief we free.

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...T-FOR-A-MINUTE
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...what-you-think

  2. #2
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    Re: we the sheep beg starving wolves to feast

    uppin this peace for a look

  3. #3
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    Re: we the sheep beg starving wolves to feast

    anything

  4. #4
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    Re: we the sheep beg starving wolves to feast

    Quote Originally Posted by makengknowcentz View Post
    anything
    Yo, I'm diggin your raw politically aggressive verse. I gotta say, you're preaching up there but you should talk about newer events that are controversial. Anything new. Make sure it's been in the news though so the readers connect to it. If you do dig far in the past, post 21st century, then you should go for something unique. Like

    The rhymes are cool. Try to use a 2-4 multi-syllablic rhyming pattern. It's becoming the staple of writing these days. Even in mainstream rap. Take the time out to use correct grammar on your verse so it looks effortless and not too rushed. You feel me dog?

    You did your thing though. This was a nice quick read. I'm on your team supporting your message.

    Words of Wisdom.

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  5. #5
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    Re: we the sheep beg starving wolves to feast

    I feel u and do not know much of the multi multi u spoke of...this was rushed I did at work in like 20 mins cause I was bored I don't like to take long on an idea i fear losing it... I agree more resent is better but I also think we must understand what occurs now isn't accident when dealing with politics realize the roots have been planted long ago I like exposing that. the mk ulta experiments for example where a bif deal in human testing of psychedelicdrugs in hopw of mind cotrol

  6. #6
    Landed Emily's Avatar
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    Re: we the sheep beg starving wolves to feast

    Wow, I'm very impressed with this piece.
    Intelligent wording and theme.

    The flow was cool, as were the rhymes.
    Your msg was so involved and full on, but came across well.

    You said, you wrote this in 20 minutes? Jeez, not good enough. Cut that time down to half lol.
    That's pretty good, 20 minutes for that. I'm pissed off now lol.

    Political pieces done well, gut me to the core.
    You did well to write this because it's full of political agenda and propaganda and
    corruption and greed and all things that look great on paper.

    I like the way you write. I'd like to read more from you.
    Just check those typos and you're set.

    You've got some cool lines that I like a lot, but my favourite is:

    "its greed... the real fuel marking our destiney.
    man made disease..... cancers and HIV"

    Thank you for this.
    Very cool read.
    Last edited by Emily; April 18th, 2014 at 02:34 AM

  7. #7
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    Re: we the sheep beg starving wolves to feast

    thank you i agree because i use notepad i dont spell check and honestly it is not my strength im building on more and more and the topic is killed but so few aren't...i appreciate your feed and will take it to heart to build a better overall style. thank you

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