LLL Season 17 Week Two E-zine & Chat

**King** · April 22nd, 2014, 10:11 AM

LLL Season 17 Week Two E-Zine

Intromotherfuckingduction

I'M CHANGING THE DUE DATES. I'm going to be setting up new battles and posting the mag on TUESDAYS, and all verses will be due on FRIDAYS. I'm just not gonna be able to be consistent with shit on Mondays cuz of work. If everything is voted on and I do have the time, I will still put shit up early.

No shows sucked this week. Definitely had more than I expected but that shit happens in the first week, its good to weed those dudes out right from the gate. Fair warning, if anyone no shows multiple battles they'll be out of the league for good. If you can't drop something, at least tell me and ur opponent so no one wastes time on that shit. Ignant muhfuckers.

Anyway here's some music and the mag u bitch asses.

**King** · April 22nd, 2014, 10:13 AM

Reviews

Joe Boston vs TGF

We all know exactly what the fuck happened here, even if you didn't read the battle. Go had a decent verse, more than enough to get the win against some poetic gay bashing. Joe Wins.

Packed Graves vs Alpha

This was a close battle. Both had some cool shit, but both can definitely drop even better too. In the end Alpha edged this one out by a flys cunt hair. Alpha Wins.

Fresh vs KnowP

Another pretty close battle. KnowP has apparently owned Fresh for a while in their battles, but this time Fresh said he wasn't taking that shit no more and hired a ghostwriter to cave in KnowPs face. Well idk if he did that but definitely did bring it this time and got da dub. Fresh Wins.

Blanco vs Foul Monopoly

Ok battle. Super close, I think it got decided by one vote which suuuucks but sometimes that shit just has to happen. The league has to keep on keeping on, and one monkey dont stop the show. Anyways Blanco edged this one out at the last second with my vote. I expect that my checks already in the mail son. Blanco Wins.

Amen vs Go Rilla

This shit was up like 32 seconds after I posted the thread. Motherfuckers were just waiting with verses n shit lol. Decent battle, pretty one sided. Amen took it with the KO in the end.

NO SHOW SHINE

Salamander vs No Showing Faggot

A monster doesn't quit, so I'll drop a dozen quick.
My style causes a buzz...
Yours trims a little off the top of Cousin Itt.
Awful fuckin' shit, don't claim that ramble is witty.
You don't hit like Mickey Mantle, more like you drank a mantel of Mickey's.
Got any fans? They're probably fam, bastid.
'Cuz let's face it, only yogurt enthusiasts wanna see 'DanActive.
I'm significantly harsh, what is it w/ your bar's issues?
I'll stonewall your verse, just to show you what it was originally carved into.
Don't start shit if ya garbage, even Arch didn't land more junk.
Giving YOU wreck ignition is like starting cars hit w/ transport trucks.
Clever? Tran, you'll never land a stroke of genius.
NEWS FLASH; you're just waiting for the weatherman to show his penis.

**King** · April 22nd, 2014, 10:15 AM

BATTLE OF THE WEEK

Orc vs Wordz AhGod

Wordz

check game, Im gaining experience while letting that metal bust
fucking Orc..I swear Id have to slay like a 100 of u faggots just to level up.
first Karp then Burden I see NC getting ripe for the slaughter
If I face u back to back.. u'd just turn back around n start biting each other.
my status as a battler is godly bruhh I don't fuck with u old tweekers
word to King..
..battling orc was such a let down it felt like I had memory foam sneakers.
Id stomp the spiritual shit out u, I'll stomp u to death till u flat
this son'ing'll leave such an ominous father figure.. u'll stop replying to TGF in the chat.
U'd never touch audio son, the snores would put u down for weeks
so after my fist rocks ur face only thing we'll hear is Orcs sound asleep.
was supposed to go against Bar but I'll still put this geek in the earth
this battles a gag, followed by the torture of having to finish reading ur verse.
acting like u heating clip, busting guns than pleading the 5th
pussy, if there was any spirit left in u..it would be just as much of a bitch.
I rock fatigues and do manly shit, Orcs about to leave my knife smeared
dawg.. I get drafted to fight wars, while u can't even handle drafted light beer

Orc

Cute, but...
U been around forevaaa. Stop the hoping son
Fuckkkk askin King for a Clean Slate.. ya last decent line was wrote on one
U shudn't challenge a beast, son whatchu Bombin for!?
It's foul... I'll put a Spike thru ur Heart til it stops the ones on ya Monitor
U left ya Relationship for the Army n' ol girls messing w/ friends
Now you're not sure what she's Expecting. Dog, she's Pregnant with twins..
Yaullll r not exclusive. Stop actin' like u on top son its gay
ya girl aint an Easy Ride. she's a Convertible Porsche on a Hot Summer day
U an army dude & it's nice u know u matter in war.
its ironic ya joined the Force to Battle & spend ya time on here Battling Forced
U'll cry when ya lose. &&I just laugh as you miss
This match doesn't mean squat, tho it does show you do that when you piss
BLAOW! U got nothinnn to add & it's lookin' real bad
Now they'll say Wordz was Dog Shit.. after this u'll be Picked Up ina Bag
Allottta specific queers in LLL r tryna off a round
Ur just a General Faggot. & thats what ya Squad calls ya when u not around

Dope battle, easily BOTW. I thought Wordz was gonna phone this one in at first cuz of the short notice but he brought it and definitely made it close. Orcs verse was pretty consistent with a couple real solid hits and in the end he walked away with BOTW and....

VERSE OF THE WEEK

Orc

Cute, but...
U been around forevaaa. Stop the hoping son
Fuckkkk askin King for a Clean Slate.. ya last decent line was wrote on one
U shudn't challenge a beast, son whatchu Bombin for!?
It's foul... I'll put a Spike thru ur Heart til it stops the ones on ya Monitor
U left ya Relationship for the Army n' ol girls messing w/ friends
Now you're not sure what she's Expecting. Dog, she's Pregnant with twins..
Yaullll r not exclusive. Stop actin' like u on top son its gay
ya girl aint an Easy Ride. she's a Convertible Porsche on a Hot Summer day
U an army dude & it's nice u know u matter in war.
its ironic ya joined the Force to Battle & spend ya time on here Battling Forced
U'll cry when ya lose. &&I just laugh as you miss
This match doesn't mean squat, tho it does show you do that when you piss
BLAOW! U got nothinnn to add & it's lookin' real bad
Now they'll say Wordz was Dog Shit.. after this u'll be Picked Up ina Bag
Allottta specific queers in LLL r tryna off a round
Ur just a General Faggot. & thats what ya Squad calls ya when u not around

**King** · April 22nd, 2014, 10:16 AM

TOP PUNCHES

was supposed to go against Bar but I'll still put this geek in the earth
this battles a gag, followed by the torture of having to finish reading ur verse
Wordz

U'd never touch audio son, the snores would put u down for weeks
so after my fist rocks ur face only thing we'll hear is Orcs sound asleep
Wordz

U been around forevaaa. Stop the hoping son
Fuckkkk askin King for a Clean Slate.. ya last decent line was wrote on one
Orc

U shudn't challenge a beast, son whatchu Bombin for!?
It's foul... I'll put a Spike thru ur Heart til it stops the ones on ya Monitor
Orc

Your shit is stale n flat... you're a failure at rap n from modding? you should be fired
Fresh air won't help you in this case P... it's obvious you need to be completely re-tired
Fresh

enjoy what? ur wretched with writtens and I wish u’d die now
u pull wool over voters eyes w/ verses that make me want to gouge mine out
Alphabet

A monster doesn't quit, so I'll drop a dozen quick.
My style causes a buzz...
Yours trims a little off the top of Cousin Itt.
Salamander

His chick hates his pipe game, leaves her vexed, it’s true,
It’s lights out anytime Ambian her & she’d rather overdose on those then have sex w/ you
Amen

**King** · April 22nd, 2014, 10:18 AM

Week Two Predictions

Dia vs Go Rilla

I don't know how Dia is at text, I assume he isn't exactly a beast. Go Rilla looks like he has a better grip on it so I got him here.

Amen vs Alphabet

Good battle, possible BOTW. Alpha had a good win over Packed last week, Amen had somewhat of an easy win. I gotta pick Alpha here, I think he connects with harder hits than Amen does.

Dark Knight vs Lawd

Dark Knight is new to me, so I'm going the easy route and picking Lawd to win in the most one-sided battle ever....a no show.

Orc vs KnowP

Possible BOTW candidate here. Orc got it last week against Wordz, I know he'll bring the same quality again. KnowP started the season off with a loss I'm sure he's gonna be anxious to turn that around. I got Orc here.

Packed Graves vs SiK

I dont know how much shit I've read from SiK if any at all, but I'm pretty sure he's at least decent. I dont know why I think that though tbh lol. Packed has been solid since showing up, I think I'ma go with him in this battle.

Fresh vs TGF

Fresh starts off the season 2-0 unless we get a sudden influx of russian homophobes voting in the league. In that case Fresh is probably fucked. No pun intended.

Nukedogg vs Senator vs Wordz AhGod

First 3 way match of the season. I think Senator has some potential, Nukedogg i still really dont know, but Wordz is the clear favorite here. He had a dope verse against Orc and I think he wants to make a real run this season.

Allen Knight vs Kontext

Dope match up, and another possible BOTW contender. Both are new sign ins and I dont know if Kon has battled since last season, so I think I'm gonna go with Allen here since he's been more active battling and I know theres no rust. Could go either way.

Smog vs Blanco

Cool match up. I think Smog has the slight edge here, but I wouldn't be surprised to see Blanco put together a verse that could take the win either. I'm going with Smog in a close one.

Cai vs Maximus

Rematch of last weeks debacle. I think I'm going to go with Cai on this one. Definitely could go either way though. Hopefully theres no no-show fuckery this time around.

Hush vs Foul Monopoly

I think this one is probably going to end up one sided. Hush has it in him to half ass it, and maybe Foul can catch him sleeping, but other than that one scenario I see Hush walking away with the win.

LLS vs God of War

Pretty much same shit as what I just said for Hush and Foul tbh. GoW is going to take this one unless he really doesn't put in the effort and LLS puts out a solid verse. GoW got it imo.

Salamander vs Galactic

And yet one more battle that I would expect to be pretty one sided. Galactic is going to need to really write out of his mind to pull out a win. I got Sal taking it.

And I'm off this.

**Amen** · April 22nd, 2014, 11:25 AM

Good battle, possible BOTW. Alpha had a good win over Packed last week, Amen had somewhat of an easy win. I gotta pick Alpha here, I think he connects with harder hits than Amen does.

We'll see... Cool mag, tho.