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Thread: Sunken Rose Petals.

  1. #1
    Legend.
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    Sunken Rose Petals.

    Sunken Roses Petals.

    Sunken deep through tesselate thoughts
    upon desicrate emotions in earth; vile
    and an array of buck wheat and barley.
    Incense and lavender fill the polluted
    air and whisp the sweet fragreance upon
    the essence and aroma of wilting rose petals.
    Ones soul is stemed and heart is budded
    yet ones life upon pictures and movies
    becomes no comparison to the animation
    of the arrival that parts ones life from
    sanctity and another from a desilate place.

    Small and mighty comes the rose with
    a fortuitus beauty which gathers that
    ingenuity to harvest the glow of the sun.
    As the dawn of wrath; the night it falls,
    the far cry of diver winters set upon
    the grace of this natural phenomenon.
    As the steady breeze builds up and the
    soul of the plant cannot weather the
    bitterness and hatred winter brings,
    Astray the heart, the bud cast shatters;
    and scatters its diversity through
    the landscape and rebirth of an
    invigerating and most elligant of plants.






    .
    Legend.
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    Meta. Convicts.
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  2. #2
    Legend.
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    Legend.
    RB Original.

    Meta. Convicts.
    18-0 Crew Record, 06-07 Best Crew.

  3. #3
    Cause A Fuss Truth Iscariot's Avatar
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    Re: Sunken Rose Petals.

    This was really beautiful and concise. The imagery was amazing, 2nd to none. I felt like i could smell the Lavender while i was reading this. I liked how the end had a bitter sweet tone to it. The whole poem had beautiful use word and superb word choice. I feel like this was small but packed one hell of a punch, a lot like The Rose which you describe.

    AI

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  4. #4
    Legend.
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    Re: Sunken Rose Petals.

    Thank you for the feedback my man.
    Legend.
    RB Original.

    Meta. Convicts.
    18-0 Crew Record, 06-07 Best Crew.

  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Narrator's Avatar
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    Re: Sunken Rose Petals.

    Thhis was very well written and had just great imagery. I really liked the end of the first stanza about the soul is stemmed and the heart budding. Cool concept, if I could give any advice it would be to spell check your pieces before posting. Bad grammar can sometimes ruin a great piece.

  6. #6
    Legend.
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    Re: Sunken Rose Petals.

    I didn't spot any mistakes but thanks for the feedback.
    Legend.
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  7. #7
    Landed Emily's Avatar
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    Re: Sunken Rose Petals.

    'Ones soul is stemed and heart is budded
    yet ones life upon pictures and movies
    becomes no comparison to the animation
    of the arrival that parts ones life from
    sanctity and another from a desilate place.

    Small and mighty comes the rose with
    a fortuitus beauty which gathers that
    ingenuity to harvest the glow of the sun.'


    Messiah,
    That's music to my ears. Beautiful balance of words, giving me serene, different dimensions.
    I like these trippy poems. The words stay in character though out. The words never slip.
    They 'do' take you on a trip.
    Your word choices were lovely and made the imagery.
    The style of the piece is interesting. A romantic period.
    It flows beautifully, in my heart, when I say it out loud, it flows.
    That's the buzz that I get from a good poem.
    Without being conventional. But by being unique.

    Great read

  8. #8
    Legend.
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    Re: Sunken Rose Petals.

    Thank you for the kind words!
    Legend.
    RB Original.

    Meta. Convicts.
    18-0 Crew Record, 06-07 Best Crew.

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