Tell

[143]

Your smile is fucked....

How dare you install glee in the mist of this garbage

I can't fathom the happiness that you dine on
The sun you turn to that shine on your parade
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!!!!!

I MEAN, what the fuck is wrong with you?

How dare you install glee in the mist of this garbage

Tell me the married bond in separate lives rooted in deception
Don't you smell the decrepitudes in the actions that mothered this situation
Please tell me who's your interpreter that feed your soul lies?
TELL ME YOU FAT BITCH!!!!!!!!

I MEAN, tell me you fat bitch!

How dare you install glee in the mist of this garbage

You are on your own, here's your country and budget
I have became an ex-pat in this
Renounce the flag you fly for me
Formally announce the war in which your memories will be destroyed
YOU FAT BITCH YOU WILL DIE IN MY PRESENCE, HOE ASS HOE....

I MEAN, YOU FAT BITCH HOE.....

[ILLunatic]

ATTENTION 143,

This automated notification is a friendly reminder for you to provide (2) links to other member submissions that you left adequate feedback to.

[143]

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...=1#post8584199

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...=1#post8584200

[memoir]

Great job man, really great job. This piece is so refreshing and raw. I think people will have mixed reactions to this.piece due to the blunt choice of words but me, I liked it. It was a perfect mix of love and hate - the undertones of the piece, for me there was actual labours of love and you had some great imagery here. On the surface you added almost subconscious feelings and made them shine & that, as I said was refreshing. Not your typical piece of poetry but sometimes that good.

[Emily]

I think what's great about this piece is the sheer scary nature of it. It's so raw in it's anger, it strikes out and hits you.
I feel slapped. It's shocking in a refreshing way but plays with emotions, like a sea saw it goes up and down, and then that seat
smacks the ground and you just ... want to get off the ride.
I like the mechanics of the sentence structure, the style its written in.
The tone and intonation of speech determines that the message desired is conveyed, that harshness, doesn't falter, doesn't waver,
it only peaks, and peaks again and again, never giving the reader a chance to not feel the life of the piece, as it lends shape, and creates mood, and makes you walk a few steps backwards, towards the door, to run while you still have time.

You pulled this off brilliantly 143
Fear factor for me? 10/10

[English]

lol.