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Thread: "Daliwinism"

  1. #1
    BRB, Jumping Ship Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    Exclamation "Daliwinism"

    "Daliwinism"


    Lots has been rumoured in studies of recent
    about the possible futures of us as a species.
    Some of it easy to grasp and retain
    while others completely baffle my brain.
    The fact still remains that, all in good time,
    the advancements we make will ensure we survive.
    The dawn will arrive when appearances change
    though the thought of it might seem a weird one today.
    An era awaits for the big and the bold
    when we peak as a race in physical growth
    The fit and the mobile find to their luck
    that symmetry’s vogue in desirable looks.
    Giants become the me and you of today
    right at the front of the evolutionary race.
    A uniformed beige increasingly defined
    due to our racial interbreeding and its rise.
    What we eat within our diets sees radical change
    both key to our survival and attracting a mate.
    As we adapt and replace with more technology
    the practical brain becomes a sought commodity.
    This course we follow in leads to divide
    & forms the origin of a sub-species that thrives.
    Its people unlike their genetic relatives
    more feeble in size and less intelligent.
    They’re separate entities with inhuman physiques,
    - inept degenerates who’ll do as we please.
    Our beautiful-geniuses keep the ugly-stupid at bay
    view them as meek and use them as slaves.
    Mere tools of their trade to unearth, barter and sell
    in a truth that’s as strange as the works of Dali himself…


    Last edited by Baron Mynd; August 18th, 2014 at 01:30 PM

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    Administrator ILLunatic's Avatar
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  3. #3
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    Re: "Daliwinism"

    I liked this m8... a nice easy read, with some true words, maybe a bit of a tainted view of the world lol not normally a fan of such short lines, it tends to sorta 'bullet point' starting and stopping the flow nah mean. but worked out nicely in this case

    another tight drop...

    get a read of my new one when ya get a minute bro

    ..............pz
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  4. #4
    BRB, Jumping Ship Baron Mynd's Avatar
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  5. #5
    Kami no kotoba. Wordz AhGod.'s Avatar
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    Re: "Daliwinism"

    this nigga STILL thinking he a super human tho lmao.. this was dope for a short drop.. real simple and to the point, liked your choice in words in some area as they didn't feel like they was just put down for the sake of rhyming. Some deep shit going on here too, felt like I was reading an article that just so happened to rhyme rather then the other way around.
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  6. #6
    Ars Longa Vita Brevis English's Avatar
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    Re: "Daliwinism"

    read this over yonder. last few drops i've read from you have had the didactic, almost preachy style. it can become tiring. i'm not sure how fun it is for you to write, or maybe you think it's your final form as a netcee/topicalist, but idk. the writing is dope, no doubt. the way the scheming slots so effortlessly with respectable syntax is more than solid. and the content is intelligible. while i appreciate your pen, this style is very derivative, and i guess it doesn't excite me.

    but it doesn't have to, and i'm sure you've other ways to write.

    pz

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  7. #7
    I Drink Wine From The Box WineO's Avatar
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    Re: "Daliwinism"

    yeah this was also a good piece, enjoyed it actually and read the whole thing because it was worth it.

    The dawn will arrive when appearances change
    though the thought of it might seem a weird one today.
    An era awaits for the big and the bold
    when we peak as a race in physical growth
    The fit and the mobile find to their luck
    that symmetry’s vogue in desirable looks.
    Giants become the me and you of today
    right at the front of the evolutionary race.
    A uniformed beige increasingly defined
    due to our racial interbreeding and its rise.
    What we eat within our diets sees radical change
    both key to our survival and attracting a mate.
    As we adapt and replace with more technology
    the practical brain becomes a sought commodity.
    This course we follow in leads to divide
    & forms the origin of a sub-species that thrives.

    good stuff there and it's so true the way the world is today the brain is becoming a sought commodity and the government is trying to turn people into pawns. really liked this.

  8. #8

    Re: "Daliwinism"

    this definitely isn't the work i remember from you back in the 03-04's. a lot more slimmed down to basics. the content was unique which i liked. having an affinity for Dali's work myself it was an interesting notion to essential build a hypothetical evolution where intelligence serves as the means by which social darwinism is derived. rather than being more prominently based on physical characteristics as it usually is. there were some lines that i thought sat real heavy and really drove home a valid juxtaposition between where we are today as a society, and where we could be if people took as much time to elevate their minds as they do with all the nonsensical bullshit in their lives.

    A uniformed beige increasingly defined

    obviously the context of the line as it continues relates to the downside of this cerebral race, but the line in itself i thought was something that stood out to me. suggesting without the interference of material growth and physical dependance that we would resort to these physical nothings uniform in appearance, not by a survivalist necessity but rather by default from lack of societal importance was unique. there's a bit of interpretation left to the read even though you laid it down pretty solid so hopefully I was able to find the mark since it doesn't look like anyone is reading to deep into it for you. nice drop man. you've got to throw one of those old school works together. deflowered rose/with new love there's old flames type works. either way. nice piece man glad to see you haven't thrown in the towel yet.


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  9. #9
    BRB, Jumping Ship Baron Mynd's Avatar
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  10. #10
    bobericc _Lyrics's Avatar
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    Re: "Daliwinism"

    I for one like the slim bar scheme. The flow timing outta more of an audio feel and there were lots of mechanics going on that made the read easy and enjoyable. This had more of a positive vibe to start kind of circulating around the traditional type of d Darwin evolutionist theory and then bounced around to social groups being the center of evolution which is very true through history. I mean slavery and genocide has been a part of human culture since there was a human culture. I wanted to see some more hints of our darker elements of evolution come in to play but thats just the barbarian talking. Nice piece baron
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  11. #11
    AJ The Menace Echelon's Avatar
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    Re: "Daliwinism"

    Good poem, Baron Mynd. It was a good reflective piece on the way of humanism and it's nurture throughout history and stuff; very good writing at it's finest from you in particular. I don't really see anything wrong with this piece. Was approached well, and you had all the tangibles with good multi-syllabic rhymes and rhyme scheme. The imagery was good, and so was the placement. Nice one, mate! Keep writing!

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