9

[143]

If wishes were truths, then lies would die
Dry eyes would prevail instead of our situations failing
You all played a part in something that raised my expectation
Interjecting a saucy solace that stirs the dusty winds lightly
Benign now, my heart has grown callouses

I remember you, daughter, because you were the next in line after Jabari
You couldn't wait to see your brothers face
Now you replace the good in your mother with malice
Giving me a awful taste of what her pain would be served cold

Then then twins, who commended the yearning for more boys
Exploiting the passionate pleas until sickening degrees jettisoned your future
Or were you making space for your next three sisters
Giving them a fighting chance until they faced the same fate as you all

On rainy days I call for God to answer these wild questions
But replies silent leaves me to fester on this cancerous situation
Osiris became the light that ended the tunnel of despair
Holding on longer that most did in the past
Not knowing he had a limited number of breaths received
I couldn't garner a reprieve from the grief in the second trimester

My marriage toll's greater that the equator and the wall of China combined
Algebra couldn't calculate the height of her task of climbing to success
Falling to the wayside that Amina's resolve has subsided, joining her sister....

By the time divorce was created the total stood at 9

9 who had love stored in surplus

9 that had a mentor in the love of an older brother

9 who had never seen my face without dreams......

I wish I could pull out my 9.........



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[Emily]

If wishes were truths, then lies would die Great intro line 143. Clean and smooth.
Dry eyes would prevail instead of our situations failing
You all played a part in something that raised my expectation
Interjecting a saucy solace that stirs the dusty winds lightly
Benign now, my heart has grown callouses
I really like this first stanza. I like the poetry here.
And I like the stillness in the beginning, that turns slightly because of your
descriptions about stirred winds. But that last line, that's good.
It makes everything STOP.

I remember you, daughter, because you were the next in line after Jabari
You couldn't wait to see your brothers face
Now you replace the good in your mother with malice
Giving me a awful taste of what her pain would be served cold
Chilling words that cut to the chase and bring with them
a scar that will remain. You have a sense of peace even when reflecting
emotionally revved wording. Like you're balancing on the cusp of a knife.
There's a sophistication I like.

Then then twins, who commended the yearning for more boys
Exploiting the passionate pleas until sickening degrees jettisoned your future
Really interesting bar here. I had to look up the word jettisoned, but
I like the lead up to the introduction of this family unit.
Or were you making space for your next three sisters
Giving them a fighting chance until they faced the same fate as you all
Wow. Scary. I'm on unsteady ground atm. The way you word yourself has me a
bit lost as to what 'fate' we're talking about.

On rainy days I call for God to answer these wild questions
But replies silent leaves me to fester on this cancerous situation
I can almost hear the clock tick, tocking as time is spent in wait.
Osiris became the light that ended the tunnel of despair
Egyptian God of the afterlife. Interesting, and sad.
Holding on longer that most did in the past
Not knowing he had a limited number of breaths received
I couldn't garner a reprieve from the grief in the second trimester
This is really hard to read. There's a build in me because of the
waiting game, because I'm not sure of what will happen. Because
of 'limited breaths' - because pregnancy isn't easy for all.
And the thought of losing babies, in any trimester, is absolutely horrible.

My marriage toll's greater that the equator and the wall of China combined
Algebra couldn't calculate the height of her task of climbing to success
Falling to the wayside that Amina's resolve has subsided, joining her sister....

By the time divorce was created the total stood at 9 Cold chills. Top Bar.

9 who had love stored in surplus Beautifully put.

9 that had a mentor in the love of an older brother Really nice but heart strings are pulled.

9 who had never seen my face without dreams......Nicely said. But the loss of aspiration, ambition and hope
hits hard and slaps the reader into harsh reality.

I wish I could pull out my 9.........Perfect ending.


The height of frustration and angst is evident in this poem 143.
And then a million other emotions trickle down and all around.
What's on display is the solace and sympathy a man deserves
when he is defeated and drained in so many ways, over and over again.
The loss of children, the loss of a marriage, the loss of wishes and dreams
and expectations; that things will be the way you intended them, when it all
comes crashing down. Sometimes I guess you would wish you could pull out that 9.
Grief, despair, misery and heartache all play a part in this poem, up front and personal.
It's also interesting to me that you talk about babies and how the number 9 comes to play in
so many ways.
It comes full circle because of the 9 months of pregnancy, the 9 losses and the 9mm.
You even have 9 dots after the final number 9.

I think this is wonderful. It's not an easy read, touching the reader emotionally and leaving
nightmarish residue. It builds and hits hard at the end imo and really, showcases what an
individual you are when it comes to written art. You have such a broad spectrum of written
styles and it's always a pleasure to read your work 143.

Beautiful, heartfelt read.

Good job.

[143]

Thank you Em, this was written on the day my last child was supposed to be born which is two days after my first was born. I found medical records of all my children lost to miscarriages so I to let them free....

[Truth Iscariot]

143, your ability to make dark personal matter beautiful is amazing to me. I loved the imagery here it was a strong point. Word choice was spot on as well. I liked how it kept rhythm without rhyming, some writers have a tough time with that but never you. Not really much bad to say about this. Good punctuation, great emotion, excellent read as always.