User Tag List

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Showing results 1 to 15 of 16

Thread: Say Goodbye

  1. #1
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Location
    CT (wtby)
    Posts
    3,547
    Battle Record
    0-2

    Say Goodbye

    Never Say Goodbye


    They’re so selfish, like life is all about them… Dear M,

    Even though I know this letter will never reach you
    I just wanted to let you know you’ve been on my mind…
    Not because of who you became and what I feel is due
    Just to let you know the comfort in the memories that I still find in you,
    Sitting here reminiscing of the days I wish I could rewind
    Like playing football in the rain, But…
    The echoes of laughter then, they now drive me insane
    It dangles like a noose suffocating my brain

    C

    I know, and I get it… cause I seen it all before
    Now that everyone can see the majesty that I saw so easily saw
    You couldn’t decipher truth from a whore
    The last time I saw you the elevation thru exhilaration as I witnessed your hesitation
    Then after the love that we made you said no more
    It stabbed me with a pain deeper than the 8 swords my tarot predicted
    And ever since then my world became kind of shifted…
    I want you to know that I don’t blame you,
    I know you were preparing me for a lie you knew we couldn’t get thru

    C … Do you hear me crying?

    I wasn’t too young to understand it when but then came the next loop to the bend
    The one to pick me up from the fall couldn’t face the order too tall
    And the one who was truly true became victim of how evil these streets can do
    As I witnessed the sentence served of 22
    What? Am I supposed to watch the unpredictable of now and how he gonna end up just like you
    Or just deal with the real of the reality set forth in realization of my own true? (it was always you)
    As we rise and we fall we have roads set forth to beat
    As I sit here fingering the outline of my scars again humbling myself to the defeat
    And as my own story unfolds, I wish I stuck up for us then just to warn you
    But all I could do was cry and spit lies just to scorn you
    I know now you did what was best for me, but the test couldn’t invest in the rest I’d see

    __________________________

    And on a personal…

    I never made love ever again,
    It was more like we was in Cesar’s war and I became that opposite whore just trapping a friend
    I’m scared now that my ice has melted and I’m not sure where this leaves me,
    Just figured out I’d reach out to the one that always felt it and was 3 steps before what I could see
    And… I pray this letter reaches you in time, it feels like years left of my own sentence
    Yet they never told me my own crime as they whisper all in due time
    I didn’t come here to remind you of the pain that you caused when you left me too
    More like I finally remember what I blacked out and how now even though it’s harder than ever…
    I’m always admiring and praying for you – What’s love got to do with it?
    But you still can’t see what we all do so plainly – put down your guns and just realize who’s true
    And maybe then you’ll see what real love in form of agape can do.

    I hope I can help snap you back too…. I’ll always love you.

    Sincerely… Me, C
    Last edited by A Disciple; July 13th, 2016 at 10:52 AM
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~外+
    CLA919

  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Donald Trump's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Bay Area
    Posts
    13,325
    Battle Record
    162-14
    Awards 150+ Wins FL Tournament Winner PC HOF FL Champion

    Re: Say Goodbye

    Wow, have you ever tried getting one of your pieces published?

  3. #3
    Esquire. Mr. Black's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Mid-thought
    Posts
    1,874
    Awards SS HOF SS HW Champion SS Season Champion Legendary OM Legendary Member OM HOF

    Re: Say Goodbye

    lmao
    I'm here to break my own ball and chain..

  4. #4
    Reborn
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    3,848
    Battle Record
    2-0

    Re: Say Goodbye

    You ever tag me in some gay shit like this again ima rape all your siblings @Toretto aka @vanja

  5. #5
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Location
    CT (wtby)
    Posts
    3,547
    Battle Record
    0-2

    Re: Say Goodbye

    Who even tagged you? @Z-E-L-P-H and @Mr.Black the esquire - is their a convo I didnt there either... I mean if someone gonna diss me, at least let me read and see it - you thinking you feeling froggy then leap - we r only online and you still can't say it to my face? WEAK!!!! I can just imagine who...

    - - - Updated - - -
    @Toretto thanks by the way... One publisher sent me stuff back in like 09 I think but I was all like why would I pay to publish my own shit? Aren't they supposed to pay you? Maybe one day... I wish I had the patience for a book - rhymes is just my boredom exercises lol

    - - - Updated - - -

    To my secret admirer - you can even hide thru an avatar... What's the problem? It's all good, I'm sure SOMEONE knows and sees how weak you really for that hiding and blocking shit alone - must be an administrator!
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~外+
    CLA919

  6. #6
    Reborn
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    3,848
    Battle Record
    2-0

    Re: Say Goodbye

    Quote Originally Posted by A Disciple View Post
    Who even tagged you? @Z-E-L-P-H and @Mr.Black the esquire - is their a convo I didnt there either... I mean if someone gonna diss me, at least let me read and see it - you thinking you feeling froggy then leap - we r only online and you still can't say it to my face? WEAK!!!! I can just imagine who...

    - - - Updated - - -
    @Toretto thanks by the way... One publisher sent me stuff back in like 09 I think but I was all like why would I pay to publish my own shit? Aren't they supposed to pay you? Maybe one day... I wish I had the patience for a book - rhymes is just my boredom exercises lol

    - - - Updated - - -

    To my secret admirer - you can even hide thru an avatar... What's the problem? It's all good, I'm sure SOMEONE knows and sees how weak you really for that hiding and blocking shit alone - must be an administrator!
    This shit is A1 lol

  7. #7
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Donald Trump's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Bay Area
    Posts
    13,325
    Battle Record
    162-14
    Awards 150+ Wins FL Tournament Winner PC HOF FL Champion

    Re: Say Goodbye

    @A Disciple I'm sorry for whoever is hating on you. I'm nominating this piece for the HOF just thought you'd like to know

  8. #8
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Location
    CT (wtby)
    Posts
    3,547
    Battle Record
    0-2

    Re: Say Goodbye

    Thank you @Toretto it's my first nomination ever!!!! )
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~外+
    CLA919

  9. #9
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Donald Trump's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Bay Area
    Posts
    13,325
    Battle Record
    162-14
    Awards 150+ Wins FL Tournament Winner PC HOF FL Champion

    Re: Say Goodbye

    Quote Originally Posted by A Disciple View Post
    Thank you @Toretto it's my first nomination ever!!!! )
    I nominated you but they deleted my post! Smh

  10. #10
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Location
    CT (wtby)
    Posts
    3,547
    Battle Record
    0-2

    Re: Say Goodbye

    It's ok... they don't like me on here and I have NO clue why, don't care much either - it's a convenient copywrite and sky drive. Do you know of any other sites like this? @Toretto
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~外+
    CLA919

  11. #11
    Whatever, Fuck You HighEngineChief's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    910 NC
    Posts
    2,132
    Battle Record
    15-6

    Re: Say Goodbye

    This is pretty good, it needs some work but you have all the makings of a good writer. The first stanza was cool, but you need to work on you rhyme scheme and syllable count. Once you learn how to exploit different rhythmic devices like alliteration, consonance, assonance, para-rhyme, and the like it will be a lot easier and you wont have to worry too much about syllable count. You used saw twice in the second line of the second stanza, and the rhyme doesn't really work, make sure you read your work aloud before you post to make sure that everything rhymes and flows the way you intend it to. Try not to remember the verse as your reading it, you want to read it as if you were doing so for the first time. Also make sure you properly punctuate your work one comma can change the entire meaning of a statement, or simply cause confusion. This was a nice read though, hope you keep writing. Stay up.

  12. #12
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Location
    CT (wtby)
    Posts
    3,547
    Battle Record
    0-2

    Re: Say Goodbye

    @High enginecheif thank you... I like writing and I want to improve too.
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~外+
    CLA919

  13. #13
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Location
    CT (wtby)
    Posts
    3,547
    Battle Record
    0-2

    Re: Say Goodbye

    Last line... "And then I realized it was me"

    I couldn't see most the posts... and we can't delete but other people can. And why can some people see posts we can't? But can everyone else? Can they log in your account too? Cause some things when I flipped and got home from the hospital I know it was impossible to be me.
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~外+
    CLA919

  14. #14
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Location
    CT (wtby)
    Posts
    3,547
    Battle Record
    0-2

    Re: Say Goodbye

    I wrote you back… and then I realized it was me waking up

    - - - Updated - - -

    Just figured I’d reach out* like why someone always editing my shit though?

    - - - Updated - - -

    Not to be a bitch but girl how long have you lived ducking bullets… JUST GET OUT THEIR WAY

    - - - Updated - - -

    Twice… when it go to slow mo I know

    - - - Updated - - -

    Because you can’t relate and it’s making my life a living hell

    - - - Updated - - -

    I usually have no problems being weird and random

    - - - Updated - - -

    Or maybe I just got mad when I realized why

    - - - Updated - - -

    Protect N no matter what… she didn’t do all that they did or anywhere close

    - - - Updated - - -

    And the rest of my current family and circle

    - - - Updated - - -

    Protect them too and I’m trusting god right now… you know?

    - - - Updated - - -

    Cause when I first started tripping I started to write on the cpu and my parents got rid of it immediately like this man crazy… my dad knew the phone would be back in 3 days and he drunk himself to death and like I didn’t have to be crazy… someone just swear they own me

    - - - Updated - - -

    I’m not taking their drills for them either Lord … I’m TAF

    - - - Updated - - -

    The I N

    - - - Updated - - -

    Like her god swear he my god too and he’s not

    - - - Updated - - -

    Where’s my god type shit

    - - - Updated - - -

    Disrespecting my body and flesh… no way I don’t deserve that

    - - - Updated - - -

    Just cause you can doesn’t mean you are and there are plenty

    - - - Updated - - -

    To my throat and toe like… I’ll just take shots from my hospital bed then all night

    - - - Updated - - -

    God like your man should give you peace and comfort… not trying to bitch and train you - I didn’t even treat my pets like that

    - - - Updated - - -

    God and or like your husband or man* … I prefer just a dr

    - - - Updated - - -

    I don’t trust any man on this earth with that power… over my council too?

    - - - Updated - - -

    I never agreed to or signed up for it either

    - - - Updated - - -

    I have work tomorrow…

    - - - Updated - - -

    It feels gross in my own body - that’s not god either

    - - - Updated - - -

    I can’t stand feeling like other people especially my enemies

    - - - Updated - - -

    They stalking me… I do attract stalkers men and woman - or more like my exes do

    - - - Updated - - -

    No thank you Lord… I’ll stick with my own families and to be honest that is probably the problem…
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~外+
    CLA919

  15. #15
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Location
    CT (wtby)
    Posts
    3,547
    Battle Record
    0-2

    Re: Say Goodbye

    Like where is my god that loves and respects me… my grey used to be fine and my neons I should be getting back and my eyes? Ain’t no way in hell should I be needing glasses so really what the fuck is going on?

    - - - Updated - - -

    You’re trying to change and demand my nature though…

    - - - Updated - - -

    I get it and I know only why you even pushing me though or testing or more like judging me too

    - - - Updated - - -

    That felt gross and is ABUSIVE

    - - - Updated - - -

    Ain’t nobody on this earth did I EVER give permission to be on my body

    - - - Updated - - -

    Nah trust I’ll take it up with my god himself…

    - - - Updated - - -

    I should get ready for bed…

    - - - Updated - - -

    But they didn’t even ask me if I want to dance!!!! And they not letting me say no
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~外+
    CLA919

Tags for this Thread

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •