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Thread: Genesis Blue

  1. #1
    Revolution II OG Maestro's Avatar
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    Genesis Blue

    Genesis Blue
    - by OG Maestro
    Quote Originally Posted by OG Maestro
    “Repetition is the foundation of knowledge”
    Part 3 - Chaos

    Son tried to manage the gravity of this madness
    His sanity was radically sandwiched,
    Between love & tragedy, ravaged-
    Above seams of vanity's fabrics
    He took a breath, his chest extends its space
    No rest, he looked left & took to the winds with grace
    The bonds of his father's embrace, were built to break
    He couldn't tell who was the disgrace, his guilt was great
    Flying high rapidly, he then took to the stands to pin a case,
    Against his mind's capacity, packaged to demonstrate-
    How his father took fear, & here it would generate,
    Reasons for banishment, that he could defend as straight
    He went to great wavelengths just to eliminate,
    The Son due to nightmares of tragic fate
    Now the Son is seething, vengeance's gleaming,
    This shit is classic hate.
    Ascending the Mount he continues this backwards race
    Not realizing the nightmare never ended, the path is late
    But that can wait.


    Part 2 - Power


    As he descended, his wings flew upwards; shrouding his innocence
    “Father...why don’t you love me?” he said, loud in the dissonance
    Crowding the clouds, he stared up into the portal, close in distance
    The opportunity to return felt near but he knows he missed it
    Above his head, the Mount. heard of caste sin from abandonment
    Wrath was passing wind that the heavens were saved by his banishment
    Could you imagine if what you wore had withered away, once garnished;
    Drifting in wind, the fabrics of your life -- completely tarnished
    His torn white linen was floating atop his face in awkward degree
    Tears streamed & converted to steam, after bombarded with heat
    It sauntered in deep, the burning atmosphere haunted his sleep
    He fell for years, his shell of peace; aura bothered and weak,
    Entwined in pure orange. Till it turned, wrapped in a sphere,
    To a hot churning butter of red, learning to adapt in the year
    He crashed landed with his wings still intact, but damaged
    Inside of the crater, his eyes a cold steel blue.
    And revenge by its pure extract was demanded.

    Part 1 - Fear


    Father was lost within his dreamscape of flowing emotions
    Devotion was showing in shallow water; boating & foaming
    Scoping hope by the heart, rowing rivers of motion; erosion-
    Caused an explosion of sediments to get caught in commotion
    Needles of history stroked his frontal lobes, sewing them open
    No streams of thread to hang onto, he drowned not knowing the oceans
    This, the stitching of the father's childhood; gold painted memories
    "All that glitters" was masked by the mold of tainted miseries
    The Father was once time's prodigy, roaming these powers at 11
    Grandfather saw this & banished him with only flowers out of heaven
    Minutes turned to days, days became weeks,
    Weeks turned to years, the tears had dried on his cheeks
    Bent on revenge he usurped the crown, King of the Gods now
    Found himself a wife & promised to protect them when it all falls down
    Vowed to become a better Father than his ever could be; letters of peace,
    Were written when he laid down with his dear Goddess on several degrees
    Little Blue Boy was born, the Father tried to embrace his own...
    But appetite for power were hunger games that gave a taste of throne
    Denial would twist his mind into a Darwinist's. survival of the fittest
    Physiologically infected: arrival of the most viral with a sickness
    He approached his child, the skies began to form sets of a vortex
    Winds ravaged the Mountain, & that's when war would swarm next

    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymous
    "Yeah, and it’s also the foundation of ignorance"

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  2. #2
    Revolution II OG Maestro's Avatar
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    Re: Genesis Blue

    Quote Originally Posted by King Soul View Post
    Well, yeah lol. You're three days late haha
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...ned-to-the-sun
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...s-Monthly-Flow

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  3. #3
    Best in the World Tempest's Avatar
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    Re: Genesis Blue

    Dunno why, but I fucking loved this piece. The wording was butter smooth through the entire read. The entire concept and everything about the story tell felt creative and original. The art you picked was fucking beautiful. Rhyme scheme was simple but on point. Overall just a great read from start to finish. Nom'd.

  4. #4
    Not a Newbie Nigma's Avatar
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    Re: Genesis Blue

    Damn man. Glad I posted a piece requiring links with pointed me to this. Been everyone but the OM sections lately but this was nice! Glanced through all the pictures first and was like alright, typical Frost artsyness. The first stanza wasnt bad, the introish feel kinda withheld the fireworks but it was a worthy sacrifice. The mechanics and content meshed amazingly in the beginning of the second stanza, came out of the gates flying with it. First that 'loud in the dissonance' bar then that 'tear streams converted to steam' was suuuuper nice, loved the second section. Third section had the extended sewing metaphor that was nice, and then brought it all together with the diety/parent comparison. The wording on 'becoming a better Father' was powerful. Very solid piece through and through, respect to you my friend.

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  5. #5
    Super Grand Heru SELF ACTIVATE's Avatar
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    Re: Genesis Blue

    This was interesting.

    I really enjoyed the whole Lucifer vs God/ Zues vs Cronos...Father-Son-Complex/subplot this piece possed. And being a piece of such classical influence it's only fitting that you would pen it in a very elegant and poetic manner. The language choice was spot on to say the least. Really nice work. It read like a playwright. Good ish bro!
    Last edited by SELF ACTIVATE; September 22nd, 2015 at 12:02 PM

  6. #6
    Revolution II OG Maestro's Avatar
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    Re: Genesis Blue

    Quote Originally Posted by King Balor View Post
    Dunno why, but I fucking loved this piece. The wording was butter smooth through the entire read. The entire concept and everything about the story tell felt creative and original. The art you picked was fucking beautiful. Rhyme scheme was simple but on point. Overall just a great read from start to finish. Nom'd.
    Thank you, it was a piece I wrote against Black. I'd like you to consider actually nominating it into Legends.
    The way you speak on my piece, when it lost, means you'll probably die if you read Black's.
    So give it a read. Professor Frost vs. Mr Black. It's in SS Closed Battles.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nigma View Post
    Damn man. Glad I posted a piece requiring links with pointed me to this. Been everyone but the OM sections lately but this was nice! Glanced through all the pictures first and was like alright, typical Frost artsyness. The first stanza wasnt bad, the introish feel kinda withheld the fireworks but it was a worthy sacrifice. The mechanics and content meshed amazingly in the beginning of the second stanza, came out of the gates flying with it. First that 'loud in the dissonance' bar then that 'tear streams converted to steam' was suuuuper nice, loved the second section. Third section had the extended sewing metaphor that was nice, and then brought it all together with the diety/parent comparison. The wording on 'becoming a better Father' was powerful. Very solid piece through and through, respect to you my friend.
    Yeah man I poured my every bit of lazy energy into rushing the finish on this piece. Then I revised it & made it a little crispy.
    I don't actually like posting pictures but, ESPECIALLY after the vague responses on my Wes Craven Finals verse, it further clarified that using these pictures are subtle ways for my subliminal intentions to creep into my audience's mind. They're more than visuals to make the text look good, more of DIRECTIONS of where to go. If that makes any sense.
    And I appreciate how critical you are of my reading, I feel like you've been reading me since I started.
    And you really understood some of this piece from the story to why I used this particular structure. Impressive.
    Even though I'm curious as to what you thought of me telling the story...backwards, meant. Part 3 to - Part 1.

    Quote Originally Posted by SELF ACTIVATE View Post
    This was interesting.

    I really enjoyed the whole Lucifer vs God/ Zues vs Cronos...Father-Son-Complex/subplot this piece possed. And being a piece of such classical influence it's only fitting that you would pen it in a very elegant and poetic manner. The language choice was spot on to say the least. Really nice work. It read like a playwright. Good ish bro!
    Wow, that's exactly what it was. Out of all the branching themes, this is one of the greatest.
    Thank you for the feed.

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  7. #7
    Chemist
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    Re: Genesis Blue

    great read

    caught my attention from the beginning. smooth transitions as well.

  8. #8
    Revolution II OG Maestro's Avatar
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    Re: Genesis Blue

    Quote Originally Posted by Chemist View Post
    great read

    caught my attention from the beginning. smooth transitions as well.
    Thank you very much for reading & feeding
    @A.T. you ever read my work a bit closer like this piece?

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  9. #9
    They say I'm a fight risk A.T.'s Avatar
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    Re: Genesis Blue

    No sir, cannot say I have.

    Apologies, I am a busy man.

  10. #10
    Buzz Kill graf-x's Avatar
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    Re: Genesis Blue

    this was dope... the reading was smooth - the transitions were clean.... the wording was crisp... this could have used a few more descriptive lines for imagery to add to the piece.. but how you wrote it was good none the less - just missing the dope visual that would make it over the top... other than that little bit of me being nit picky -- in my opinion this was dope.. keep doing your thing


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  11. #11
    Revolution II OG Maestro's Avatar
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    Re: Genesis Blue

    Quote Originally Posted by mic s View Post
    this was dope... the reading was smooth - the transitions were clean.... the wording was crisp... this could have used a few more descriptive lines for imagery to add to the piece.. but how you wrote it was good none the less - just missing the dope visual that would make it over the top... other than that little bit of me being nit picky -- in my opinion this was dope.. keep doing your thing
    That means so much man. And I agree with you 100%, could have been some more imagery in there

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  12. #12
    Coal to the furnace Cody Phoenix's Avatar
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    Re: Genesis Blue

    Hoyl fuck OG Maestro, magnificent piece. I'm thoroughly impressed and you got a new fan haha... Keep writing fam. This piece was just fluid throughout, rhyme, creative language and metaphors with the imagery to match just combined into a leviathan drop, where you didn't have to do to much to impact the reader with the world inside your head. Absolutely stunner scheme-work here and you can tell you took the time to write this, piecing together like its a puzzle with word. Good work man.

  13. #13
    Cypher Alumni Sammy's Avatar
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    Re: Genesis Blue

    this was fucking epic man.
    Son tried to manage the gravity of this madness
    His sanity was radically sandwiched,
    Between love & tragedy, ravaged-
    Above seams of vanity's fabrics
    it read amazing and so smooth. Was this about god and creation? Thats the impression i got. Awesome story telling and flow bro.

  14. #14
    Revolution II OG Maestro's Avatar
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    Re: Genesis Blue

    Quote Originally Posted by Cody Phoenix View Post
    Hoyl fuck OG Maestro, magnificent piece. I'm thoroughly impressed and you got a new fan haha... Keep writing fam. This piece was just fluid throughout, rhyme, creative language and metaphors with the imagery to match just combined into a leviathan drop, where you didn't have to do to much to impact the reader with the world inside your head. Absolutely stunner scheme-work here and you can tell you took the time to write this, piecing together like its a puzzle with word. Good work man.
    I just wanted to say thank you for this, it's always been appreciated and savored my friend.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sammy View Post
    this was fucking epic man. it read amazing and so smooth. Was this about god and creation? Thats the impression i got. Awesome story telling and flow bro.
    Exactly. God and Creation was one sub-theme, with the main theme being a Zeus/Greek Mythology type of storytelling on how vices lead sons to become fathers that their sons detest, but then they in turn end up becoming that same father all over again.

  15. #15
    AJ The Menace Echelon's Avatar
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    Re: Genesis Blue

    I thought this was a good read, OG Maestro.

    You had a lot of good word choices flowing throughout this piece; - I thought. This reminded me of Icarus, and when he tried to touch the sun. I believe that's what you were aiming for here. This was pretty cool here, I enjoy the topic at hand - was kind of cool. This was a very cool topical piece, had all the essentials for a nice one. The 3rd verse was your best verse to me. Was pretty class there. There's nothing really too much I could say. Was a good read. Nice one, man. Pretty cool read. Lol.

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