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Thread: My Name Is God

  1. #1
    The Wind Sings TheIllyricist's Avatar
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    My Name Is God



    My Name Is God

    BANG!

    Seas of the expanse expand into constellations
    As my hand grants a starlit trance across galactic formations
    An artist above nations where I flick my wrist to make universes
    I rehearsed this from Sodom to Noah as blood paints my verses
    Magician or mathematician I’ve stated my name as a vision
    Within the Holy mission written in bloody incisions
    Spelling crimson schisms that have driven the Muslim…
    and the Christian.

    A singer of false stories sold to man’s fingers
    That slither around the apple, I was the snake that said come hither
    As my silver tongue quivered and beckoned until you bit it
    Even if you didn’t I am the decider of forbidden and what isn’t
    I am the giver and a killer upon the world’s river
    Never withered, you think you have me figured?
    I pull the trigger, beg to differ but my scope doesn’t have a limit!

    Matrices defined of the undefined mind
    These galaxies refined of the decided time
    Burnt out stars are etched to these hands of mine
    Building shimmering seas of midnight gleams that shine

    And I’m full of laughter because you can’t fathom
    The maximum patterns that I can imagine
    So I watch you lose the fabric and turn it to magic,
    Tragic, so fun to witness the fits of irrational passion
    Lighting the flames of radical madness!

    Beginning, middle and end I always am
    Spinning little men on fields of the damned
    But isn’t this what you requested?
    Predestined, to death and, you bled him for the sake of a blessed lamb...

    Yet he still wonders when I’ll return again from the dead
    Wine upon the bread and the tainted streams of the when

    I smile and flip forward the pages
    The greatest trick of the ages, a puppeteer of the stages, your races and changes caught in my cages
    Lift my mask to say this and just this in the name of your veiled justice...

    "Hello men; my name is God...
    and I’m just a man with a pen."



    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...You-I-P-Collab
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    Last edited by TheIllyricist; April 22nd, 2016 at 02:46 AM
    “Those whom life does not cure death will. The world is quite ruthless in selecting between the dream and the reality, even where we will not. Between the wish and the thing the world lies waiting.”

  2. #2
    ::..VOCABULUS..:: 143's Avatar
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    Re: My Name Is God

    I see you matriculating in a rapid fashion. Your storytelling is gaining depths that is really stunning. This is the writing that grabs my attention and make me sit back with my Tangaray and Cherry Wine. You really hit the dimensions in the drop, the conversational aspect really put his together and draw an image of what and who is conversing about. I also think that sometimes the presentation or structure do play a part in the delivery of the topic and gives a guide to how I should read it and this here is no exception. Playing the shorter lines vs the longer lines highlighting intentions and feeling within the various statements is something that I rarely see from writer Dope dope dope and you are one to watch out for in the league.


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  3. #3
     Murder The Mainstream Nohbody's Avatar
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    Re: My Name Is God

    BANG!
    Honestly, im not very good at catching all the small subtle details with everything I read. So on those rare occasions I do happen to pick up on them, It puts a smile on my face. BANG . . .as in the Big Bang Theory . . its clever, simple, and yet, such an effective way to just blast right into this topic

    Seas of the expanse expand into constellations
    As my hand grants a starlit trance across galactic formations
    An artist above nations where I flick my wrist to make universes
    I rehearsed this from Sodom to Noah as blood paints my verses
    Magician or mathematician I’ve stated my name as a vision
    Within the Holy mission written in bloody incisions
    Spelling crimson schisms that have driven the Muslim…
    and the Christian.
    Nice opener here. Easing into the topic and giving it some buildup. You are a good technical writer and im really enjoying the multis

    A singer of false stories sold to man’s fingers
    That slither around the apple, I was the snake that said come hither
    As my silver tongue quivered and beckoned until you bit it
    Even if you didn’t I am the decider of forbidden and what isn’t
    I am the giver and a killer upon the world’s river
    Never withered, you think you have me figured?
    I pull the trigger, beg to differ but my scope doesn’t have a limit!
    Nice, I like how you are almost shifting from light to dark here. . . are you man or are you God? Are you Angel, are you Demon? Are you man who thinks himself a God? Conflict creates interest and your doing a fine job here. . .

    Matrices defined of the undefined mind
    These galaxies refined of the decided time
    Burnt out stars are etched to these hands of mine
    Building shimmering seas of midnight gleams that shine

    And I’m full of laughter because you can’t fathom
    The maximum patterns that I can imagine
    So I watch you lose the fabric and turn it to magic,
    Tragic, so fun to witness the fits of irrational passion
    Lighting the flames of radical madness![/quote]

    Yea, as I get further into this, I can see that reader is being challenged to figure out who our protagonist is. AT this point, im not thinking God, but im thinking a ‘creationist’ . . . not in the sense of physical worlds and patterns. . but as an artist with a God like ability to create his craft. . moving on

    Beginning, middle and end I always am
    Spinning little men on fields of the damned
    But isn’t this what you requested?
    Predestined, to death and, you bled him for the sake of a blessed lamb...

    Yet he still wonders when I’ll return again from the dead
    Wine upon the bread and the tainted streams of the when
    So this section has me doubting my suspicions . . . again, great build up my man.

    I smile and flip forward the pages
    The greatest trick of the ages, a puppeteer of the stages, your races and changes caught in my cages
    Lift my mask to say this and just this in the name of your veiled justice...

    "Hello men; my name is God...
    and I’m just a man with a pen."
    Im beginning to fell like a rap god, rap god hahha

    No doubt you have a lot of talent. Good technique in leading the reader on. There was turns and twists, and you gave me just enough that I couldn’t quite put the puzzle completely together until the very end. You held my interest, and with my ADD ass, that’s quite the achievement hahaha. Good shit bro

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    An unarmed man is a victim
    .

  4. #4
    Landed Emily's Avatar
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    Re: My Name Is God

    BANG! Nice start TheIllyricist. Bit of confusion here for those who need either the big bang theory, or God.

    Seas of the expanse expand into constellations
    As my hand grants a starlit trance across galactic formations
    An artist above nations where I flick my wrist to make universes
    I rehearsed this from Sodom to Noah as blood paints my verses
    Magician or mathematician I’ve stated my name as a vision
    Within the Holy mission written in bloody incisions
    Spelling crimson schisms that have driven the Muslim…
    and the Christian.
    The flow is what grabs my attention straight away TheIllyricist, its really good, smooth and easy to read with no
    pauses in funny places or odd beats popping out of no where. Good stuff. Your rhymes mesh well with each other and
    add an element of technique that's not uncommon for you. You're a talented writer who can incorporate the technical side while
    still maintaining emotion and a silky melody. It's all good. Some lines are divine. The blood lines are good. I like how you don't have filler, every sentence has a reason to be there.


    A singer of false stories sold to man’s fingers It's interesting deciding which role you've taken on. Is it God? With this sentence in particular, I doubt it. I'm thinking more the Devil, or an Anglican priest LOL, jk. But I like how you've made me think about who could be behind these words and what thoughts he's going to share next.
    That slither around the apple, I was the snake that said come hither
    As my silver tongue quivered and beckoned until you bit it Pft' that's good. Stunning descriptions.
    Even if you didn’t I am the decider of forbidden and what isn’t Might be my favourite line. I really like, 'and what isn't'.
    That authoritarian tone is loud and clear, crisp and holds a conviction that's gold.

    I am the giver and a killer upon the world’s river
    Never withered, you think you have me figured? Smart man. I like it.
    I pull the trigger, beg to differ but my scope doesn’t have a limit!
    Another great stanza. Well done.

    Matrices defined of the undefined mind Clever wordplay.
    These galaxies refined of the decided timeAnd these internals do your piece justice. Constant rhymes falling smooth as butter.
    Burnt out stars are etched to these hands of mine
    Building shimmering seas of midnight gleams that shine See it? So can I. I can see it. Great descriptions painted in words.

    And I’m full of laughter because you can’t fathom
    The maximum patterns that I can imagineomg, that's beautiful. I wish I wrote that.
    So I watch you lose the fabric and turn it to magic,
    Tragic, so fun to witness the fits of irrational passion
    Lighting the flames of radical madness! You sicko. Divine sickness is a flavour that's entirely enticing and draws me in. Your way with words is all about inviting the reader in, and then...they're trapped.

    Beginning, middle and end I always am
    Spinning little men on fields of the damned But...who are you?
    But isn’t this what you requested? Probably lol.
    Predestined, to death and, you bled him for the sake of a blessed lamb...The biblical references have been done well. You've not gone cheesy or drab with bits of bible but symbolism stands its ground here. And it's a cuts a lonely figure, but one that stands strong on it's own.

    Yet he still wonders when I’ll return again from the dead
    Wine upon the bread and the tainted streams of the when How interesting. Both these two lines fall so well, effortlessly.

    I smile and flip forward the pages This visual is cool. The bible and your smile, don't mix, but I like it.
    The greatest trick of the ages, a puppeteer of the stages, your races and changes caught in my cages Beautiful!!!
    Lift my mask to say this and just this in the name of your veiled justice... [B]Top Line!! The 'Lift my mask to say this...' There's like a drum beat going off in my head and heart.

    "Hello men; my name is God...
    and I’m just a man with a pen."

    I like it. Nice outro. The way I understand this ending, is literally. You are just a man, with a pen.
    We can spin life anyway we wish. Funny how you are just a man with a pen, and yet, for those brief moments while I was reading,
    I was thinking...'are you God? are you the Devil? who are you?'
    You may be 'just a man with a pen', but that pen moves mountains,
    and everyone knows, only a God can do that.

    I loved everything about this.

    Great Read.

    Thank you.


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