A song for you

[Nohbody]

hello

that’s all I can muster to say
socializing is a game im often too flustered to play
its no wonder my times spent scraping through days
seconds, weeks, years just went fading away
so I parade my apathy just to see what they say
actually made peace, gift wrapped it and gave it away
pray to false idols. get drunk. hey man, I’m just saving the day
motionless. residual life stuck in constant replay
everything’s nonsense. or either im lost in a way
so if you can steer me out of here, I promise ill pay
once I motivate myself to find work and get paid
ill certainly try, maybe, but why work for a wage?
why live? why die? I question why I was made
God broke the mold making me while I was breaking an egg
dirty dishes in the sink, god, I gotta get laid
fuck it. . im afraid I’ll end up doing what I usually say
maybe write a song, a verse, or draw a line on a page
then post it online to show what ive accomplished today
so here it is . .

a song about nothing, lame, and obviously vague



thank you


http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...ON-LEVEL-EVENT
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...od-amp-Bondage

[Nigma]

lol I really enjoyed this. A nice light read with an apparent decline in fucks given as it progressed. It was like an encapsulation of all the simultaneous thoughts of your subconscious splattered on a wall to see in one dimension like a fly to a windshield. I felt the most effective portions were ones where you focused on the end rhymes. The subtle effectiveness of lines such as the 'lost in a way/promise i'll pay' bar is a good example of it. I felt there were times, most notably in the first half, where your word choice sort of through off the harmony, the word drunk stand out in that regard. I'm also aware that given the subject matter that this was a pretty quick write and you give little to no fucks about that. Cool read.

[A Disciple]

Yeah I loved it too... And can definitely relate which is so funny cause I was a work a holic... Apathy is a nice hand to pretend to hold though... But not a good hand if it's really what's felt... Hope you find what you love to do and just do it... Too many artist go starving before they're recognized for their greatness. Totally cute...

[Soule]

This was great. Short and to the point. I usually look forward to multies but you wrote in a way that everything was quick enough to make the end of lines seem like multies. I've always been a fan of your syllable counting. Lines are a short enough length that you can tell your story and still have a smooth rhyme scheme. I liked the creative direction on this concept. Really worked in your favor. Great read man. If you can, return the favor? http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...702-Underneath

[BG513]

This was a nice, enjoyable piece.
Straight to the cut and kinda simple, but also very complex and pretentious.
The flow and rhyme scheme was easy on the mind and therefore made for a smooth read.
I followed your character well and at moments I definitely related.
Also, the overall concept was very clever.
Enjoyable and interesting read.
Keep'm coming.

[Manc Sinatra]

This was cool, I liked it a lot actually. Flow was pretty perfect apart from "pray to false idols. get drunk. hey man, I’m just saving the day" which added a little stutter and threw off your rhythm briefly. Beyond that I enjoyed the schemes and your tempo, nice and fluid which is always a plus in any lyrics. It was a clever little concept for me, both lyrical and uncaring in style which I found quite charismatic. You have a nice turn of phrase. Props.