Sacred Scriptures Season 16: Week 1 The Law vs Nigma

[143]

http://images.comicbookresources.com...dd_bolland.jpg--THE LAW--

VS

http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/...20090812192619--NIGMA--


ALL TIMES ARE BY 11:59PM

CHECK IN 8/19

VERSES DONE BY 8/24

VOTES DONE BY 8/26

NO EXTENSIONS

HERE ARE YOUR TOPICS

http://img15.deviantart.net/5a8c/i/2...kg-dadekal.jpg

http://img12.deviantart.net/6cb3/i/2...ss-d6xjiq8.jpg

http://orig01.deviantart.net/c194/f/...me-dae342q.jpg

http://img01.deviantart.net/3587/i/2...ro-dae34ej.jpg

@thelaw @Nigma


***** @The Law HAS THE POWER TO PICK HIS OWN TOPIC *****

[The Law]

Check

[Nigma]

Check

[The Law]

http://www.loverofdarkness.net/LOD/i...97961296fb.jpg

Get away, I won't give you my precious baby
I screamed... Getting breathless... Shaky
Sprinting down the halls in an attempt to escape
Walls dirty and old, the cement in decay
Lights flickering and reject to behave
Each room with handprints that project from the frames
Women banging their heads, blood streaming down their cheeks
Children eating corpses that sit around for weeks
I couldn't think, but I knew I had to disappear
Or I'll end up like the people that exist in here
So I darted in a random room, slid under the mattress
It was dark, but I could still see the crosses etched in the fabric
I slowly began gazing around, trying to control my breathing
Body parts on the floor, looks like the animals were feeding,
I could see feet dangling from someone hanging from the ceiling
feeling, consumed by fear, so terrified to become a victim
Footsteps getting louder, I hear each stride in a rhythm
Without time to think, I got yanked from underneath
Sharp pain through my feet as they tried to put me in a besiege
Telling me they can help me, that they could save my daughter
But I know they put the fetus in the jar after slaughter
I started flailing and thrashing, like a violent seizure
Looking for any chance to evade these creatures
But something didn't feel right, it was roaring through my mind
Drips sliding down my ankles, blood pouring down my thighs
They backed away, and I kept running as fast as I could
To the end, where a small bathroom laid where I stood
I knew I miscarried, I was distraught, overwhemled by emotions
Suicidal, explosive, I began shifting through the motions
My skull cracking on the wall, back and forth til I began to fade
Blood flowing and exiting through the expanded drain,
The last thing I could make out, was people in gowns
and a couple doctors, saying they were helping me out...

"Dispatch, we got a code red on the central floor
Second bathroom, in the mental ward"

[Nigma]

http://t12.deviantart.net/pQotHyA0Jy...ss-d6xjiq8.jpg

I’m like light travelling to dance with stardust
I’m a white shadow in a land of darkness
They say a spiked gavel doesn’t land with pardons
So I’m a frightened traveler, the planets martian.

Hey Lover.
Be my blood.
How are you tonight?

...


Beyond afflicted, contradicting vows I had to write
My lack of power’s soothing to my monsters appetite
I’m banking on the assents, drawing cents from facts of life
I’ve spawned into my calling cause the dollars add up right
...
Lifes the first involvement, you’re evolving when disaster strikes
Deaths a second coming, falling like a slaughtered antichrist


People. They ask me often, “You have a job, have that corporate pay
But why do they hand out cash for the ass they’ve had before this day
Maybe your past’s forgotten, your families gone, the divorce went great
I’m saying you have some options, relax and you’ll get more on dates”
I see these hazards blatantly, don’t need the blues of pouring rain
My soul’s encapsulated in a seed that blooms from scorched terrain
Demons storm the gates and a war is waged in this mortal game
Diseases form and orchestrate a forward facing force of pain
Amidst the fear, this orgy plagues me, breaks me in deforming ways
Yet in a different cord, endorphins raise, this whores adorning traits;
Maiden with a gorgeous face paced towards me with abnormal grace
Got that warm embrace but the pressures high so a storm awaits
Waiting for the clouds to part, praying for remorse; insane
Openly in worship for my deities support today
That angels cadence maimed me, if she’d only make these horns decay
She can’t erase mistakes that cage a baby that was born with AIDS

[King Prince]

crazy battle. am extremely happy that u both showed. made all the bullshit this week worth it. I'm going to have to go with law based on the development of his story. both had great structure and vocabulary. actually in this area I would give the edge to nigma, he just had a barrage of lines that made me sit and admire the skillfull mind behind them.

They say a spiked gavel doesn’t land with pardons
So I’m a frightened traveler, the planets martian.

I see these hazards blatantly, don’t need the blues of pouring rain
My soul’s encapsulated in a seed that blooms from scorched terrain
Demons storm the gates and a war is waged in this mortal game
Diseases form and orchestrate a forward facing force of pain
Amidst the fear, this orgy plagues me, breaks me in deforming ways
Yet in a different cord, endorphins raise, this whores adorning traits;
Maiden with a gorgeous face paced towards me with abnormal grace

honestly I could've highlighted just about every line from each verse but the abstract content of nigmas lines drew me in more than laws. problem is that kind of held back my understanding of the topic a little bit. ive told 143 plenty times he has a tendency to make me feel stupid with his vocabulary and the same thing happened here. it was excellently laid out and after a reread I had total understanding but whereas with laws drop I was engrossed into the story from the very beginning and then got the the closer and was like oh shit, with nigmas verse it was more like, he killing these lines but what exactly am I reading. your twist of a closer had the wow factor as well but it did more to further confuse me then to instantly tie it together. it was less oh shit and more what the fuck. again no knock on your drop. would've blown me out the water this week, just came up against a much more polished piece.

vote law


I’m like light travelling to dance with stardust
I’m a white shadow in a land of darkness
They say a spiked gavel doesn’t land with pardons
So I’m a frightened traveler, the planets martian.

Hey Lover.
Be my blood.
How are you tonight?

...


Beyond afflicted, contradicting vows I had to write
My lack of power’s soothing to my monsters appetite
I’m banking on the assents, drawing cents from facts of life
I’ve spawned into my calling cause the dollars add up right
...
Lifes the first involvement, you’re evolving when disaster strikes
Deaths a second coming, falling like a slaughtered antichrist


People. They ask me often, “You have a job, have that corporate pay
But why do they hand out cash for the ass they’ve had before this day
Maybe your past’s forgotten, your families gone, the divorce went great
I’m saying you have some options, relax and you’ll get more on dates”




it was that opening sequence that had me confused. by the time I was through this part I had no idea where we were going with this. and aint tryn to seem like I'm riding anyone but again, your bar levels are off the chart, and if it wasn't for me finding the individual lines to be so well written, you would've had me tearing my hair out trying to figure out whats going on

[Nohbody]

vote - the law

Ill have an in depth breakdown in the video mag guys. very close battle here guys.

[Kuhn]

Damn This was dope
I wasnt sure what to expect from either but liked both pieces.

The law, yours was a more simplistic and direct approach which isn't really a bad thing, but nigma is a vet I've seen around for quite a while so it usually takes something special to best him. I felt the flow of yours was smooth with a rare hiccup or wrong tense of a word used, minor things but still things that I noticed that kinda snagged me on the first read through. I felt it was a bit predictable the way it ended just because the image itself along with the "craziness" you described (quite well with the imagery) so it wasn't a big wow finish that you may need to bring a simple piece ahead in the votes. Overall a well written piece with good imagery but lacking in the rhyme scheme and plot areas. Keep it up though it won't take much tweaking to Start bringing wins in steadily.

Nigma, I was a Lil unsure of where you piece was going to go, and the more complex rhyme scheme was refreshing compared to the former verse. It was really the Polar opposite of your opponent. Not as much imagery but more emotion and intellectual along with a more interesting flow that made it read a bit faster. Really enjoyed the ending also, wasn't quite sure how you were pulling it together but I liked it. Good shit my dude

I gotta vote nigma for the more complex and more fulfilling piece this time. Good battles guys I'd love to see a rematch in the near future

[OG Maestro]

Vote: The Law

Nigma had the better lyricism quality but Law brought in storytelling and lots of vivid, specific imagery which also contained emotion, so it seemed like a clear win for Law. I did, personally, enjoy Nigma's verse way more because I'm a guy that enjoys abstract schemes and whatnot, but when it comes to topical battling with defined topics like these, abstractness usually always is unfavorable because of how detached it can make reading it feel. This is irrelevant, but I feel like this is a repeat of Lionheart vs. The Law -- abstract rhyme scheming vs. emotional imagery storytelling.

[Surplus]

The Law

Get away, I won't give you my precious baby
I screamed... Getting breathless... Shaky
Sprinting down the halls in an attempt to escape
Walls dirty and old, the cement in decay
Lights flickering and reject to behave
Each room with handprints that project from the frames
love the imagery in these opening bars
Women banging their heads, blood streaming down their cheeks
Children eating corpses that sit around for weeks
I couldn't think, but I knew I had to disappear
Or I'll end up like the people that exist in here
So I darted in a random room, slid under the mattress
It was dark, but I could still see the crosses etched in the fabric
I slowly began gazing around, trying to control my breathing
Body parts on the floor, looks like the animals were feeding,
As the story moves into action you paint a really good picture, well worded, flow is on point, up to this point in the verse I was really intrigued
I could see feet dangling from someone hanging from the ceiling
feeling, consumed by fear, so terrified to become a victim
Footsteps getting louder, I hear each stride in a rhythm
Without time to think, I got yanked from underneath
Sharp pain through my feet as they tried to put me in a besiege
Telling me they can help me, that they could save my daughter
But I know they put the fetus in the jar after slaughter
I started flailing and thrashing, like a violent seizure
Looking for any chance to evade these creatures
But something didn't feel right, it was roaring through my mind
Drips sliding down my ankles, blood pouring down my thighs
I didnt enjoy this segment of the verse, the story was left vague and just feel like you could of done better with these few lines. Your opening lines painted a strong picture, these lines it feels like you forcing the imagery of whats happening.
They backed away, and I kept running as fast as I could
To the end, where a small bathroom laid where I stood
I knew I miscarried, I was distraught, overwhemled by emotions
Suicidal, explosive, I began shifting through the motions
My skull cracking on the wall, back and forth til I began to fade
Blood flowing and exiting through the expanded drain,
The last thing I could make out, was people in gowns
and a couple doctors, saying they were helping me out...

"Dispatch, we got a code red on the central floor
Second bathroom, in the mental ward"
The ending of this verse was great man, the last few lines really did a good job of finishing the story, very nice work overall.


====================


Nigma

I’m like light travelling to dance with stardust
I’m a white shadow in a land of darkness
They say a spiked gavel doesn’t land with pardons
So I’m a frightened traveler, the planets martian.

Hey Lover.
Be my blood.
How are you tonight?

...


Beyond afflicted, contradicting vows I had to write
My lack of power’s soothing to my monsters appetite
I’m banking on the assents, drawing cents from facts of life
I’ve spawned into my calling cause the dollars add up right
...
Lifes the first involvement, you’re evolving when disaster strikes
Deaths a second coming, falling like a slaughtered antichrist
I like the opening lines, the wording the flow the vocabulary, everything is nice so far, the only thing Im struggling with is.. what is the story about up to this point?? It hasnt tied into anything yet, its just some vague lines that don't seem to be following a storyline yet.

People. They ask me often, “You have a job, have that corporate pay
But why do they hand out cash for the ass they’ve had before this day
Maybe your past’s forgotten, your families gone, the divorce went great
I’m saying you have some options, relax and you’ll get more on dates”
didn't enjoy these lines
I see these hazards blatantly, don’t need the blues of pouring rain
My soul’s encapsulated in a seed that blooms from scorched terrain
sick line right here
Demons storm the gates and a war is waged in this mortal game
Diseases form and orchestrate a forward facing force of pain
Amidst the fear, this orgy plagues me, breaks me in deforming ways
Yet in a different cord, endorphins raise, this whores adorning traits;
Maiden with a gorgeous face paced towards me with abnormal grace
Got that warm embrace but the pressures high so a storm awaits
Waiting for the clouds to part, praying for remorse; insane
Openly in worship for my deities support today
That angels cadence maimed me, if she’d only make these horns decay
She can’t erase mistakes that cage a baby that was born with AIDS
Starting from the pouring rain line, I thought the end of this verse was great, well written, good wording, the flow was very nice. It wasn't until the very last line that I guess you try to tie in the whole story together about being born with aids and fighting away these demons inside of you. It was a good verse and well written i just feel like the story was abstract and vague and didn't follow any particular direction throughout.

Either way, this was a very nice battle, enjoyed reading both verses. Some real nice flow and vocab from both of you.
I got to give my vote to the Law. Was intrigued and felt gripped into the story from the opening lines til the end with only a small segment of the verse that I didnt really enjoy as much. Nigma you are a very good writer for sure I just think the Law edged this one out. I was more engaged with the storyline as I was reading through the laws verse

Vote - The Law

[143]

I thank those who left feed. With that being said. The Law is the winner of this battle. Thank you both for competing