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this most
excellent canopy, the air,—look you, this brave
o’erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted
with golden fire,—why, it appears no other thing to
me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours.
—Hamlet, Act II, Scene II
Thinking aloud in my head hope my ghost’s don’t get stirred back up out of their beds
Hope the penance for memory mounts me in pieces and all my ex’s get their own pound of flesh
please take down the mirrors don’t want to reflect— on all of these feelings I long to forget
Calling my name never answer my cell send it straight to voicemail let them haunt me again
In the morning still tossing still lost in regret and I wish that this couch was a coffin instead
Of these afternoon naps I’m exhausted with rest and I envy the dust of it’s unconscious depth
What am I now but a nauseous effect of a cesspool of bones that belong to the dead
What am I now but a parcel a spec a remarkable breath of the sea rising off of the deck
Like a dream drifting from one lost thought to the next is this gleaming, brittle gossamer wet
With the tears of the spider or that of the fly; How in the hell am I caught in this web?
How do I escape from mistakes when I’m always shitfaced and my brain’s up in flames
Have to suffer these same faces day after day every page that I turn is a slave that was made
From the grains of the Earth that was caged from it’s birth in a grave we call Fate
Till nothing’s left of me but the shame and codeine and my spirit sinks into a state of dismay
I just want to wake up tell me it’s a dream nothing’s ever what it seems on this stage but we play
Out our parts either way for a sea of empty seats in the dark till curtain comes to take us away
Looking round I don’t know what to make of this place and the specters of faded out days
That lay low on the world like a venomous snake all my angels resemble the devil in shades
Someone turn down the treble and turn up the bass shake the world till she trembles and breaks
In my hand like a delicate egg the deadlands of my yesterdays wet with decay
Goddess of Love, tell me a lie— I put my heart out and left it to die
I plucked the stars from the depths of the sky to hold ransom from God until heaven is mine
All that I have left to measure is time, minutes and seconds keep stepping in line
Close up my soul I can’t let them inside nor hours whom devour the treasures I hide
Mementos tossed right down the cleft of my mind to forever remember me by
Beautiful petals that stick to the slime of this wrinkled old branch with dim embers of light
That poke out of the darkness and enter the eye; get rid of this mirror reflecting demise
Let the minutes and hours and seconds collide until Chronos washes up dead with the tide
All these things are but sweats in the night that pass swift as a chill then slip under the knife
And once stuffed in that pine we go on with our lies and pretend it’s a wonderful life
Everything’s transient love will subside, all of my family and loved ones will cry
All of the cameras will cut to the sky, all these illusion’s won’t cover my crimes
All of your searching and nothing to find but a hollowed out person you wanted to pry
But the pictures you swiped were inverted, you’ll never know the true substance of I
All of these versions you’ve learned over time are mere apparitions of a love undefined
Something that rhymes in a jumbled up world where our tongues have been tied
We’re nothing alike put up fronts with each other and suffer the lies we abruptly contrive
In the hope that maybe we can puncture this line that divides us all up like we’re swine
All of the beauty of loving and dying and living and fucking and running and flying
O Muse! Can I keep but just one to be mine— Erato! Erato! tell me a lie
