Season 17 First Four --- Enclave vs late bloomer--- Enclave Wins

[143]

@Enclave vs @late bloomer

CHECK IN BY MONDAY 12/19

VERSE BY THURSDAY 12/27 EXTENSION TILL SATURDAY 12/29

VOTES BY TUESDAY 1/3
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THIS IS AN OPEN TOPIC BOUNDARY ROUND

ALL VERSES MUST HAVE A MINIMUM OF 16 LINES MAX OF 32 LINES

YOU CAN WRITE ABOUT ANYTHING BUT IT MUST BE TRAGIC, GLEEFUL AND IN THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT OR NEW YEAR'S FESTIVE

RULES HERE: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=1#post8842955

[Enclave]

Check

[Late Bloom]

here i am

[Enclave]

I'm assuming verses are due Tuesday 12/27 and not thursday?

[Late Bloom]

is it possible to get extension..... i would love a bit more time to work on this....

[Late Bloom]

yo i had to write about this dinner party homie
but i thinking about nothing but money
some people walk about and try not to think about it
but i built myself a deck just to connect wasnt no bitch
i wrote shit and said i didnt mean to make it that long
i ended up the wrong side of kong
he built my annex beyond the mountainrange
im like a grill way i keeping flames
life isnt very long he said in the old days
i went out in a blaze i said his chips werent afraid
see the stake he played as long as it was safe
he used to say take some and when your finished with it
just let it go but didnt realize he was just like a little kid
how were you going to tell him not to give him his money
my days were so bright but now i know why theyre never sunny
yeah mine too until i became so ugly
and people stopped and said they were sorry
i said it aint about nothing im meaningless as appendix
if there wasnt no fire they wouldnt have to make an exit
i stayed around a while afterwards
said it popped off like some cork ya lines never stewards
everyone welcome in gods church
ya lines are corny this kid keep a line for ya verse..

[Enclave]

..
.
..The smell of sweet rolls; Star atop the Christmas tree
No matter how old, I know Grandma don't miss just me
Making the rounds with memories of those who are gone
Kids show their new phone; In the 90's, I got stretch armstrong
It's a gathering that doesn't happen as often as it should
Calls in the days before Christmas, all filled with "wish I could"
People marry off, some may die; Others in jail or have anxiety
It's ashamed that familes growing apart is such a part of our society
We all miss gramps - I'll tell you, that man could tell a story
And it's a shamed that when I was young I used to think it bored me
.
..
.
As I snap back into the moment, I see my sister come in the door
Smile in an instant with a hug with a "wish I saw you more"
It's tough to be apart from the ones that we love; This we know
Looking back at all the years I was gone I know they missed me though
Ya see I served my country, war took me away from the holidays
The occasional card in the mail always ended with --"we all pray"
That's good and all but prayer doesn't fill the hole in my heart while in war
Only the thought that I was fighting for people away 2,000 miles or more
Hugs the ones you love and look them in the eye and tell them don't fuss
........Because this could be the last Christmas that we could show up
..
.
..

[ILLunatic]

Enclave had more emotion in his story which drew me to his piece more. late bloomer's piece was more of a aspiring rapper writing his first rhymes.

Vote - Enclave

[Metrics]

Man, Late Bloomer that wasn't very strong for something you had a week and a half to work on. Looked like you wrote every line and finished it in less than 5 min. Enclave doesn't need an explanation for why he should win.

Clear cut - Vote Enclave

[143]

Late Bloomer

This have that keyed feel to it, I don't know that you were under a time crunch and you didn't want to no show and out of respect of the effort I commend you on that and appreciate the offering. On a technical note, this didn't provide the depth that I have seen in your writing in other sections. I know you have the talent to bring out some good imagery but I didn't see it here. This league can be intense at times but if you bring that creativeness I've seen from you, you will go far in this league. You are my sleeper to be champ in this...

Enclave

It's like you bring everything I have seen in PS, PC and make one hell of a drop. Your play with bringing three dimensional imagery pops in this from the first line on. You definitely come to chop off some heads in this league and are on my list one of the favorites. You definitely win this tie breaker.....

[Nigma]

Pretty cut and dry here.

Late Bloomer: Clearly written in haste, didn't get a reply on your request for an extension and got somethin out.. So props for showing. This was pretty basic tho. Content wise, started abruptly but you soon began to progress through some sort clash between the vague progression of a story and flexish character development. Fell apart towards the end. Technically, this was basic. Single syllable rhymes, no transitions, no internals. Your syllabic balance was good tho, this would shine more recorded imo.

Enclave: Well rounded verse. Large impact for the size. Included plenty of strong elements, nice emotion and imagery, but most importantly a planned and well executed progression through the verse. Technically, your mechanics encouraged the brain to continue reading more than your opponents. Multisyllabic rhymes bounced around nicely and the odd transition complimented things nicely. Not much else to say, solid showing.

+1 Enclave

[143]

After the votes... Enclave is the winner 4-0