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Thread: Gibberish

  1. #1
    Lenox
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    Gibberish

    Writers block sharper then preciseness from a snipers Shot,
    Since writers block blocks writers from righteous thoughts, I don't like to write a lot.
    now I'm lighting pot cuz of my inner breaking like lightning striking pots from Washington nights on lifeless blocks.. in the middle of summer with long droughts.. I might slit my fucking throat to get This song out.
    I miss constructed thoughts... each line structured from missile seeking genius thinking, pencil tip like a ginsu swinging ripping limbs to pieces and the impact detrimental like Hindu teachings.
    I miss innocent living when living innocent wasn't wishful thinking,
    I used to be a stargazer, on top of the world & far from hard time and child labor. Now I'm a narcotics part time trader.
    I've been a saint since my first day started,
    I tried slicing veins and never realized the blade sharpened.
    Wasted potential once again, I think I'll spark another Dutch again, and roll up till the sun gets dim,
    my run of the mill is how we're all gonna eat, and when I die will the process repeat? Or will I be rotting meat in a coffin deceased on a highway for someone driving can see that I used to......
    Have potential

  2. #2
    Landed Emily's Avatar
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    Re: Gibberish

    bumping


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  3. #3
    Landed Emily's Avatar
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    Re: Gibberish

    Lenox, I'm just gonna structure this so it's easier for me to feed.

    Writers block sharper then preciseness from a snipers Shot, Very nice intro. Very visual and has impact from the get go.
    Since writers block blocks writers from righteous thoughts, I don't like to write a lot. lol, cool. If you don't write a lot, less worry about
    writers block lol.

    now I'm lighting pot cuz of my inner breaking like lightning striking pots I hear you here, but the pace and flow was lost with a few words
    for me, they were...my inner breaking....I know what you want to say, but it just missed the mark a little here. My inner? child? Your inner what?
    But i liked the direction you were going not only with the rhymes but with the meaning. Just missed its mark slightly.

    from Washington nights on lifeless blocks.. in the middle of summer with long droughts.. Nice Lenox. Nice.
    I might slit my fucking throat to get This song out. This is probably my favourite line. And it might just be one of my favourite all time, lines.
    It's a friggen beautifully worded line Lenox. I love it.

    I miss constructed thoughts... each line structured from missile seeking genius thinking, Far out Lenox. I love it when you take writing this seriously
    and you come out with stuff like this. It showcases how much talent you really do have, and how far you can go if you stick with it. Good stuff.

    pencil tip like a ginsu swinging ripping limbs to pieces and the impact detrimental like Hindu teachings. Bravo. Nice imagery. Cool metaphors.
    I miss innocent living when living innocent wasn't wishful thinking, Stunning. It's great that you can delve that deep. It leaves an imprint on the
    reader, or me lol, because of the sensitivity attached to your lines Lenox.

    I used to be a stargazer, on top of the world & far from hard time and child labor. Another great sentence. 'I used to be a stargazer' is simply romantic
    and lovely.

    Now I'm a narcotics part time trader. lol. Become a stargazer again. Nice line here too though.
    I've been a saint since my first day started,
    I tried slicing veins and never realized the blade sharpened. The blade sharpened? On its own? Not sure about this one.
    Or did you mean, 'never realised the blade 'was' sharpened? probably huh?

    Wasted potential once again, I think I'll spark another Dutch again,
    and roll up till the sun gets dim, Nice pace. I like the rhymes. I like where you're going with this.
    my run of the mill is how we're all gonna eat, and when I die will the process repeat? food for thought lol
    Or will I be rotting meat in a coffin deceased on a highway for someone driving can see that I used to...... cool
    Have potential YESSSSS


    Lenox, I read this yesterday and didn't have time to feed, but I've gotta hand it to you. I really did love it.
    I enjoyed it a lot. Not only because of what you're saying, its a bit cut throat and in ya face, but also because
    I like the technical aspects you've thrown in here. I like the rhymes and the flow and the visions, and the pace
    and of course, just the poetic nature of it.
    Only a couple of lines weren't on par with the rest imo, but other than those little things, this as a whole, was a cool
    read. Really enjoyable and entertaining. Keep bringing it Lenox.
    You've got some nice talent that when you put your mind to it, surprises and shocks me in a beautiful way.
    Good stuff.


    Great Read.


    Thank you.


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  4. #4
    Lenox
    Guest

    Re: Gibberish

    Thank u emily

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